Does Redneck Outweigh Romance?

I have just subjected myself to what has to be hands down the reason and cause for the writer's to have ended the strike--CMT's Big Redneck Wedding. Of course a show like that has a way of sucking you into its Saturday afternoon marathon run.

It wasn't until the second episode that I lost my slack-jawed awe and let myself roll in laughter. The green wedding dress accented by a camo veil was breath taking. I then began taking careful notes in the case my daughters bring home a redneck to marry. I will refute any suggestion of serving beans and corn bread at the reception, with a chance the groom may say, “the beans are starting to work on me.” With side dishes of pigs-in-a-blanket, pickled pig’s feet (still in the jars) and pork rines (by the bowls)--sides like these put tossed salad and green bean almandine to shame.

By the third episode of the marathon I was fully immersed. If you live within 100 miles of me you could probably hear the sound of my laughter at the redneck couple from Florida as they went gleefully--well not so much the bride because she lacked any, if not all ability to smile--to the pet and feed store to purchase the groom's wedding attire. Oh yes, and the grooms men’s fresh camo. The maid of honor, sister of the bride, was less than pleased at the bride’s maid's fashion of denim mini skirt and camo colored camisole (thank God one person in the episode had quality taste). The sister did not hide her sarcastic tone in the nail salon as her redneck sister proudly rambled about the beauty her wedding was to behold. Let me say there is nothing more moving then men making way to the alter by means of an ATV, followed by the bride on her horse. Which if I may add the dismount in the bridal gown was beautiful; I gave her a five out of ten. With the guest seated on there truck tailgates…you couldn’t have dreamed this picture if you tried. But what had me hooping a holler was the entertainment--mattress surfing and mud wrestling. Yes I said mattress surfing; a twin size mattress attached to the back of an ATV like a sled and being spun around in a grass field. You’re thinking, now why didn’t I think of that for my wedding reception? I tell you why you didn’t think of it because the frat boys already have… for rush week.

My favorite lines this couple allowed to be captured on film were:
Bride- "ya we met 6,7,8 years ago"
(King Ralph even laughed at the gal who couldn't, exactly, remember when she met her redneck prince.)
Groom- "honey let's go constipate this here marriage".
(I guess a night of mattress surfing and mud wrestling your mama in a blow up kiddie pool would constipate any groom, and bride.)

This friend is why the writers needed to end the strike. America could not, should not be allowed to subject themselves to a TV marathon event of --The Redneck Wedding.

To quell my wedding fears I just returned from seeing 27 Dresses. It restored the fact that I am, at heart, a terrible romantic.