We survived the first day of the new school year!

I celebrated the occasion by watching a rated R movie and feasting on fresh pineapple...plus I did about ten loads of laundry.

When my army of girls arrived home at 3pm they entered the house in a chorus of stories, one trying to over talk the other. Alee couldn't stop talking about the odd nature of her photojournalism teacher. Maddi was in a pickle over the locker partner situation but was joyous that her two closest friends have the same lunch period and Demi could not stop telling stories about some annoying boy. It sent Kevin's head spinning so he smiled and retreated to the basement, knowing full well he would go on the attack for his own information via a cell phone call [while working the night shift] later.

At one brief point of silence while they stared into the refrigerator and pantry-- as all three neared starvation-- I calmly asked Demi "so middle school wasn't that bad was it". "No it was fine" she replied. "Not worth all that lost sleep huh?" "No it wasn't". Why don't they ever trust there mom?

Then came the papers. The last time my signature was in such demand I was purchasing a house.

If I didn't risk mine and my children's life once, I was being instructed to do it again with a new list of school supplies. Grabbing a note pad the girls began listing off item by item:

• one graphing calculator
• one AP US History review book
• one black 1/2" three ring binder with a clear view pocket (for 6th grade choir)
• two 1/2" three ring binders (for PE and some other class)
• ten dividers
• package of page protectors
• 3-subject notebook
• two composition notebooks

Round two of school supply shopping equaled up to enough that I was considering contacting, again,that Chinese organ harvester and offering up my recently rejuvenated liver. I layed out a Franklin and a Jefferson in a matter of an hour, jeopardizing our lives in not one but three stores. Oh yes, I forgot I signed a paper that requested I shell over one Hamilton , one Lincoln and one Washington for a polo style choir shirt. Tomorrow I am making an announcement over the PA system it will go something like this... "I am b-r--r-o-k-e! Schools can you hear me? I broke, broke, broke, broke!

It was a beautiful night of uninterrupted sleep. So sweet that was.

Day Two of the school year:

Alee started zero hour so I was making lunches at 530am with my eyes still practically matted shut and then driving down Lindbergh Blvd with my bad breath and bed head at 615am. Zero hour is brutal for me.

The perpetual signing of my name continued on. Can't I just write one letter that says I promise my kid(s) will behave, follow any and all rules you scribe and I will volunteer to help in the classroom and attend field trips. But I refuse to serve cookies and punch after middle and high school music concerts. Ending with my lovely unlegible signature. This would spare me and a thousand other parents from the threat of carpal tunnel syndrome.

As the evening rolls to its end the panic of what to wear is setting in and a myriad of fashion options in question are on the runway (in this case the kitchen tile floor). It seems around this house clothing is equal in importance to homework. Which means it is pretty darn important.

I will now slip in my night shirt, grab a bottle of water and nestle into the couch for an episode of Project Runway.