It is quiet in our house, all are sleeping (or pretending to be) and here I sit with only my thoughts to reflect on this day.

This morning as we sat in church I suddenly noticed Maddi began to have tears creeping out the corners of her eyes. I knew what it was all about and I merely extended my arm to her back where I gently rubbed it with my mothering touch. The place where I thought she might find peace...well I don't know. That did not stop me from praying my own prayers. A prayer to comfort, strengthen, ease her fears...

Leaving church Alee was first in line (of our family) to greet our ministers. Libbie first hugged Alee saying she would miss her next weekend as the youth presented to the congregation moments from the youth convention. Then Libbie gave Maddi a big hug, smiled at her and said "I will be praying for you on Wednesday". She went on to remind Maddi that she is just having her beauty perfected a bit more. Maddi shook her head with a bit of melancholy, looked at Libbie and than began to cry. Which made Libbie tear up and then me. Libbie because she is a minister that wears her heart on her sleeve. Me, because moms hurt with there kids for there kids. Maddi ran off to the church bathroom to finish her cry.

I continue to let her work through her fear her own way. Be it crabbiness, tears...

Tonight I went in her room after she turned her lights out; she was relaxed. I went down on bended knee kissed her cheek and reminded her God is never far away he will be with her to protect, guide and work the hands of those who are doing nothing more then perfecting the beauty she has so richly been blessed with. I reiterated that those of us who love her know she is already beautiful, no matter what. I told her that no matter how many times in life she angers me or disappoints me that the joy and pride she brings to my life out weighs all other moments and that I love her more than anything in the world. She then asked me to say her prayers and we prayed her childhood bedtime prayer- there are four corners on my bed there are four angels at its head Matthew, Mark, Luke and John bless the bed that Maddi lies on. Then I did what I use to do for years -but in laziness stoppedme- I gently rubbed her back while I said criss cross apple sauce spiders crawling up your back now you've got the chills. Planting yet another kiss on her cheek I closed the door so she could drift off to sleep.

I do believe that one day Maddi will realize that the gift of sight is a wonderful commodity regardless the steps it takes to keep it--whether she retains it through numerous surgeries and a life time of wearing eye glasses.

I'll remind her again tomorrow she's my girl and I love her!