Going To The Wilds

Today I spent a great deal of time making summer vacations plans. This family is headed West-- a good ole' fashion family camping vacation.

I have been reading my "Hiking Yellowstone National Park" book with fever.

Okay, let me make it clear I can camp without an electric box to power the camper--flash lights and lanterns are perfectly acceptable. I can even do the out house-- in Yellowstone language a "pit". But, I need a shower! I am not bathing in a lake, this isn't Survivor, there is no million dollars at stake for sacrifice. So the challenge was to find not only a campground in the park with showers (which from my book informs me I will have to pay for the luxury, it didn't note hot water so that remains the mystery) but also one that opened in early June.

I found it! Canyon Campground. Noted activities-- trails, waterfalls, photography, etc...all things that are important to us on this rugged trip.

Then I read the list of suggested items for day hikes--read like a typical scout list: day pack, water bottle, first-aid kit, survival kit (which basically means granola bars), compass, maps, toilet trowel...I stopped. Read again. T-O-I-L-E-T--T-R-O-W-E-L. Mary Mother of God I am not digging a hole to make a poo deposit!

Later when King Ralph returned from work I read him the list, stating quite emphatically NO TOILET TROWEL. Really come on I told him I can handle a lot of male Neanderthal qualities but digging a shit hole is where I draw the line. Then I think I saw a slight glimmer in his eye as I said the words toilet trowel once more. A glimmer like a dog should always leave his mark everywhere he goes.

So I guess what I have to wonder now is, how exactly will I know if he purchased a "toilet trowel"...what will it look like? Like a garden spade? Like a large serving spoon? Will I accidentally, unaware, pick it up to plant flower bulbs. Or will I unknowingly serve mashed potatoes with it? Will it come engraved with the word "toilet trowel" on the body of the tool?

You know what I think some good ole fashion female "hold-it-in-till-you-get-home" lessons are in order for the King. Don't you agree? It is never to soon to start planning ahead! Should I say planning bottom?