I am changing my title to Keeper of the Castle.

Why?

It seems I married royalty without even knowing.

I entered the bathroom on Saturday evening to ask the spouse a quick question...there I find him stretched out (more like crammed) in the tub, spa jets blazing all around him, iPod in ears (possibly getting the words down to the songs that baffled him all week) while sipping a Jack and Coke. I shook my head. He smiled. He lifted his glass clinking the ice cubes; all that remained in his highball glass, asked "another please".

Oh my gosh I'm married to "King Ralph"!

If seeing this once was enough the "King" took the tub again on Sunday, this time I believe he wore his crown and had an unlit cigar clinched between his teeth, while Peter O'Toole stood attention at the door with a fresh Jack and Coke resting on a sterling silver service platter--giving a real sense of "King Ralph"

Later that night...

To make sure I realized this was no ordinary house Princess A called me from her cell phone while lounging on her throne in the lower level of our castle to request a mini bag of Smart Pop microwave popcorn.

No, no here is my new title-- Keeper of the Castle as told by the lady-in-waiting.

And to think all I ever wanted to be was queen.