Call Me Dr. Dolittle

Me: Uli your home! Where were you?

Uli: I was tired of running laps in the yard all day.  It's no fun when you can't invite the kids from the neighborhood over to race.

Me: You mean the other dogs? 

Uli: Whatever.

Me: So where'd you go?

Uli: Well when King Ralph, as you call him, left the front door open I decided I would sneek out to take a run and live on the wild side.  I came across a nice yard where I made a couple of new friends, pugs named Zues and Braxton.  They invited me to spend the night on the back porch with them.  I couldn't refuse.

Me: Did you have fun?

Uli: Sure we played nice together.  But you know they're boys and they started to not respect my female boundaries.  I suppose my freshly styled hair and my Halloween scarf really turned them on...I can't talk about it anymore it is to disturbing to relive.

Me: Uli, all male species like to get a little frisky with the ladies from time to time.  But why didn't you phone home?  We were worried sick.

Uli: I wanted too, but my tags fell off and I couldn't remember our phone number.  My new friends mom made a great breakfast and took me for a long walk on the leash.  She was really nice.  Sorry to worry you all.

Me: Your tags were there last week! Oh well you are home safe and sound.  I am also glad your new friends were fine hosts. I think D is going to make them an apple pie as a thank you for keeping you safe when you decided to run wild.  NO more leaving the house without permission!  You hear?!!

Uli: Ya.  Really there is no place like home.

Me: So true!