Me: Uli your home! Where were you?
Uli: I was tired of running laps in the yard all day. It's no fun when you can't invite the kids from the neighborhood over to race.
Me: You mean the other dogs?
Me: So where'd you go?
Uli: Well when King Ralph, as you call him, left the front door open I decided I would sneek out to take a run and live on the wild side. I came across a nice yard where I made a couple of new friends, pugs named Zues and Braxton. They invited me to spend the night on the back porch with them. I couldn't refuse.
Me: Did you have fun?
Uli: Sure we played nice together. But you know they're boys and they started to not respect my female boundaries. I suppose my freshly styled hair and my Halloween scarf really turned them on...I can't talk about it anymore it is to disturbing to relive.
Me: Uli, all male species like to get a little frisky with the ladies from time to time. But why didn't you phone home? We were worried sick.
Uli: I wanted too, but my tags fell off and I couldn't remember our phone number. My new friends mom made a great breakfast and took me for a long walk on the leash. She was really nice. Sorry to worry you all.
Me: Your tags were there last week! Oh well you are home safe and sound. I am also glad your new friends were fine hosts. I think D is going to make them an apple pie as a thank you for keeping you safe when you decided to run wild. NO more leaving the house without permission! You hear?!!
Uli: Ya. Really there is no place like home.
Me: So true!