Panties you say...what the fun?

The final duty of my workday is parent pick-up in the cafeteria. Imagine my dismay when I walked into the cafeteria to find the fifth graders had set up there Saturday garage sale...and when I say set up I mean SET UP.

Flash back...several years ago King Ralph drug me around, house after house, through our neighborhood garage sale. It was then that I came to the conclusion that the selling of half used toiletries was disturbing.

So imagine how freaked I was walking into a cafeteria where I was to match children to parent in a sea of, hoards of crap--I'm sorry, one man's junk is another man's treasure--while these parents wanted to pre-shop. I felt like I had been dropped into Pandora's Box. But, the thing that caught my eye was the intimate apparel section on the cafeteria table. (This is giving new definition to Wednesday's lunch menu choice of tuna casserole.) Okay let me just say half used toiletries in some strange man's garage is one thing but, used Victoria panties and bras in a school cafeteria is--wrong on so many levels I can't even go there. The college male who works the latch key program snickered when I pointed out the fabulous shopping option, he responds, "do they come with stains". Oh brother. Then I pointed out the freaky selection zone on the table to the principal, saying I found it quite curious that the intimate apparel section was placed next to the feather boa section. She giggled at me and told me I was silly. Me silly? The teacher, parent, whoever it was that thought selling used I-touched-another's-cooter-panties at a school garage sale is the one that should be called silly...or maybe crazy. Not me. I'm sane enough to know that is just plain nasty!

Suggestions for panties you no longer want to wear...how 'bout making them a dust rag. Maybe wax the car with them. You could soak them in gasoline, use as a fire starter for a bonfire. If I sit here long enough (which I'm not) I could think of a million things better to do with used panties than to sell them in a school garage sale while displaying them on the cafeteria table!