The most fabulous news--my mother-in-law is being set free after 37 days of hospital captivity. More than that she is being set free from the most demanding selfish room mate in the history of shared hospital space. Louise.
Oh Louise. The grim reaper of life. I mean if we aren't all stressed enough about the economy Louise reminds you it is going to hell in a hand bag times two--one from China and the other from Mexico. When not moaning about how she lost her pension, thirty years ago, she is wearing out the nurse call button. Buzz, fluff my pillow. Buzz, take my tray. Buzz, take me to the restroom. Buzz, straighten my blankets. Buzz, bring me my tooth brush. And on and on. Then I swear something possessed ole' Louise this weekend. Uncle Dan experienced it last night and King Ralph, D and I tonight. Louise buzzed for a nurse and since lonely Louise, a woman of no family, who wants immediate nurse attention was not being waited on fast enough, she began in a low graveling voice saying "bitch" over and over. It was like something out of Rosemary's Baby or the Omen. Creepy. So when my mother-in-law accidentally mistook the nurse helping her to the bathroom for me (nurse was on the side her eye isn't able to open)and kissed her on the cheek...I smiled at nurse and said, "better than what is on the other side of the curtain". She shook her head in a definite yes. Just before we were leaving Louise de-mand-ed we turn the TV to Channel 2. Okay Louise listen here, one TV two beds. You gotta share girlfriend. Maybe you missed this lesson in Kindergarten. It can't be all about what Louise wants. Sometimes it gets to be about what Karen wants. No doubt the minute we exited the room she buzzed the nurse, cause it would be to easy for her to use the channel changer to do it herself. In spite King Ralph left the TV on his mom's channel choice. Buzz, nurse change the channel.
So tomorrow at 10am Karen can "kiss" Louise good-bye forever. Odds are Karen's husband George may scream out "bitch" as he exits room 4602.
Butterfly fly. Spread your wings and fly home. Sit on your deck. Breath in fresh air. Watch the geese land on the lake. Stretch out in your favorite chair, watching your big TV. Sleep in your own bed snuggled next to your love. Amen!