Every year since I started waking with the questionably insane people to shop on Black Friday I question my own insanity. Now King Ralph, who began joining me last year in the name of marital bonding (or was it watchful eye on the spending?), has begun to question his own saneness.
When the alarm went off at 4:15am King Ralph and I sprung from bed, slipped on whatever clothes we could find--mine being more of acceptable presentation than King Ralph's--and headed out the door. We arrived at Wal-Mart by 440am and immediately went to the area in which we intended to purchase the coveted item on the Black Friday advertisement. No it wasn't the fake hamster. This is the moment, the first in my many years of the day after turkey, that I questioned my sanity in the quest to save money. Being that Wal-mart remained open 24-hours the vultures were ever present inside the store way before the 5am start of the sale. Wal-Mart started handing out item tickets before 5am and of course by the time I got there they were all gone. Then King Ralph headed to the second coveted item area only to watch someone snatch up the last one. We left not mad that we didn't get what we wanted but that Wal-Mart handed out item tickets before 5am. King Ralph vowing never to shop on Black Friday.
Then shopping away we went...till 830am.
And, again on Saturday.
It was Saturday that the curse of Black Friday got me. I was home alone, King Ralph out riding his motorcycle with the guys and the daughters out shopping together. I decided to sit on the deck soaking up the Indian summer day when I walked in the house to grab the over flowing kitchen trash to take out. I was walking along our board walk with the heavy bag of trash when I lost my footing (how I still can't figure) and went down face first. I hit that ground half my head hit the board walk and half hit the grass. I laid there my face,no my whole head, aching then I rolled over. The sky looked a beautiful blue and I spotted a large squirrels nest in the naked maple tree. I laid there thinking good thing I didn't hurt myself worse because the backyard neighbor was gone and the side neighbor is a vampire so he was coming out in the day light nor could he see me through his constant closed blinds. Then I raised and got ice on my face and noticed I had a huge grass stain on my favorite white t-shirt.
Long story short I had this swollen right side of my face that has now gone down but I am left with a big bruised area on my cheek bone, a bruise on the bend of my foot and sore ribs and arms (from trying to brace my fall). M thought I needed to concoct a better story. To which I replied how much better can a forty-something woman falling on her face when she is taking trash out get? It can't.
I tell you it is the curse of Black Friday...and being aggravated with Wal-Mart.