Thursday, January 28, 2016

The Fan Club


I believe it was my second year into my middle school employment that I began referring to the century old maroon chairs by my desk as, "fan club" seating. It just made the demise of waiting to see the principal less depressing. Like maybe, somehow, something good could come from the dreaded fate awaiting the poor souls. 

The "fan club" has a few fine print rules: 
1. You never discuss with anyone why you're sitting in a fan club seat 
2. You never ask someone why they've been sent to the fan club seating
3. You never tell anyone your final outcome post principal meeting
I believe strongly in not fostering gossip in the hallways, were stories can so easily be miss construed. The goal: complete anonymity. Protect the privacy of all "fan club" members! Lessen the likelihood of new members. 

Today the fan club became more literal than figurative. 

While the winter was nothing short of glorious outside (55*, blue skies, sunshine), inside it felt like 1,100*. My wardrobe selection of a sweater, skater style skirt and boots left me questioning my sanity. I was literally on the verge of heat stroke. I looked around to see if the devil was sitting in a maroon chair. I traded hot tea for jugs of iced water and open windows. The attempt was to bring my body temperature from--swimming in the magma of earths core to just standing on the equator. When water and windows failed me, I stole a fan from the counselor's office. Thus making my "fan club" a genuine "fan club."

And the seats were in high demand today! 

To all those begging for membership...new membership will be under deep scrutiny--tomorrow is Friday, after all! 
----
P.S Will the owner of the green coat please claim before I give it away! 

2 comments:

Lin said...

I like the Fan Club...and the rules. Good thinking. Do you have the rules posted, or do you have to read them off, like Miranda Rights, for new visitors?

I have a fan on constantly. I work next to the payroll cubes...where the girls like it HOT every single day. There is heat, a space heater permanently set at 75 degrees and then they run their desk heaters on TOP of that. I am dying in there. The one girl wore her winter coat the entire day the other day. It's like Florida in the summer in that place. Ugh.

JODI said...

Lin- I'm laughing! The men in the office, all two of them, say "when the women say it's hot in here, you know it's hot!" It's hotter than Hatai in that damn place...Florida might feel refreshing. ;-)

As for the fan club rules...I repeat them often to the new and old (or frequent flyers).