Wednesday, December 08, 2010

There Is A Miracle on 34th Street

It happens every year.  Every year I dread it.  The dreaded question.  It isn't so much the question I dread it is the fact that others can't ssshhhh, keep there mouths closed.  I sort of understand when it happens with fifth graders...but second breaks my heart.

Here's my true story

Mrs. Avery is waved over to the lunch table

Second Grader #1: Ask her, go head and ask her.

Me: Ask me what?

Second Grader #2: Mrs Avery, is Santa real?

Me: Yes, most definitely, he is real!

Second Grader #3: Do you believe?

Me: Of course I believe.  Every year I wake up and under my tree are lots of presents.

Second Grader #1: See I told.  Tommy (name changed to protect identity) was wrong.  He told us Santa isn't real.

Second Grader #2: See guys out of 179 people 1 does not believe.

Me: No boys more like 1 in a 1,000,000,000 do not believe.  But I BELIEVE!

Then Mrs. Avery corners the lad who is breaking spirits and stomping on the magic of Christmas

Me: Tommy. Whatever your feelings are about Christmas you need to keep them to yourself.  Do you understand what I am saying? We aren't going to talk Christmas feelings at lunch.

Tommmy looks up in a sheepish style.

Me: Okay Tommy?

Tommy: Yes.

The little turd knew exactly what I was talking about. 

Of course it happened again, the next day, at fifth grade lunch.  This time I was sitting at the table across from the kid who was in the mood be a spirit killer.  I gave him a kick under the table to hush him.  Even though he tried again to profess his knowledge that Santa does not exist, another lad swore he had proof on video of the jolly ole' elf in his red "costume" --to which I proclaimed it to be a "uniform"-- he was prepared to present as proof.

So to all these nay sayers I say too is a true story:

"DEAR EDITOR: I am 8 years old.
"Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus.
"Papa says, 'If you see it in THE SUN it's so.'
"Please tell me the truth; is there a Santa Claus?


VIRGINIA, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except [what] they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men's or children's, are little. In this great universe of ours man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, VIRGINIA, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus. It would be as dreary as if there were no VIRGINIAS. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies! You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas Eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if they did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

You may tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, VIRGINIA, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.

No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.


Christmas Countdown: 16 Days

Till my suitcase has to be placed
on a truck bound for Pasadena: 14 Days 

Take Off to the Tournament of Roses: 18 Days

(I may be nearly naked for 4 days,
but we'll talk about that on the 22nd)


Lin said...

Oh, I am so excited for you to be in that parade!!! I hope you have a TON of fun.

I hate those kids who rat out Santa.

ThE MidLiFe CrUiSeR said...

SHOOT!!! Are you telling me that Santa is REAL?? All these years, I've been eating the cookies Jonathan left behind for him. I guess Santa doesn't like cookie thieves because I NEVER get presents from him anymore. BUMMER!

JODI said...

Lin-I hope your New Years Day plans include a bit of HGTV watching on January one. Maddi will be the girl in the front right of the guard block with the rose flag in her hand.

Nellie- Possible reasons Santa is not coming down your chimney
A. You don't have a chiimney and don't leave the front door unlocked for his entry

B. You have been "affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age".

C. You are just plain naughty.

D. You put chia in the cookies and Santa doesn't have time to stop and take a crap three times in his one night trip around the world.

I think I am going with options C and D. hehehehe

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