When I Talk to Myself It Sounds Like This

Keeper: Jo. You don't mind if I call you call Jo do you?

Me: Of course not, my brother calls me Jo all the time.

Keeper: You have quite a set of bags under your eyes.

Me: Thanks for noticing, not!

Keeper: What's up girlfriend?

Me: well I had a case of insomnia last night, fell asleep at 2am...it's a hormone thing and,

Keeper: You really should get to the gyno for a check up of those hormones.

Me: excuse me [self] I was not finished.

Keeper: Sorry.

Me: The thunderstorm was wild and King Ralph was...well I can best describe my broken slumber at 6am, that was hard to get, with this childhood limerick: it's raining, it's pouring the old man is snoring.

Keeper: You should have nudged him to roll over, maybe pinched his nose. Back to the gyno check-up.

Me: I did nudge King Ralph, I pinched his nose but my old man didn't budge. One of us doesn't have a hormone imbalance. And, if you'd like to know I made an appointment for today with my favorite gyno (since my reminder card said your last visit was 5/23/06) and then Aunt Flo came to town unexpectedly and I had to cancel. Believe me I was okay with it. I hate throwing my legs up in the silver stir-ups with my who-ha flashing at a man with a pair of rubber gloves. You know what, I am not discussing this with you any further. I'm tired, slightly crabby and I HATE the gyno. So there!