Vacation Moments That Had Me Asking...

What were you thinking? That is the question I often asked myself when we were on vacation.

Like the couples that hiked to the top of Gregory Bald and another to the Abrams Falls--both steep incline trails of thick raised tree root and rock--IN FLIP FLOPS. Come on you have to ask yourself, what were you thinking. Even a sensible amateur hiker would lace up sneakers before hiking in thin flip-flops. You know those poor SOB's had aching soles and arches when they finished out that day. To hike in flip-flops I believe you need toe nails fit for tree climbing to grasp the earth as your heel slipped back on ascending inclines.

I especially love the parent on the Hen Wallow Falls trail who let her (looked like around eight years old) son hike barefoot. I'm not sure if that mom needs a V-8 to charge her brain or a good clubbing. You say to yourself, what were you thinking.

I love grown women who hike in white flouncy mini-skirts. Or high heels and ankle length cotton dresses. Hello. Hiking is not a fashion statement; it's sweat, dirt, and hard work. What are you thinking? Sometimes, as these quacks rounded the corner I found those words slipping out with an audible tone.

I also love the sense of a parent who think giving a four-year-old sparklers to run around with in a crowd of 50,000 plus is a safe and responsible idea. Yes there where a few passer bys who were brushed on their upper arms as the sparklers red hot metal punk grazed. I believe it was King Ralph who said "hey stupid what are you thinking".

I love people in cars driving the Cades Cove loop at 5 miles an hour and snap pictures of deer. Deer. It’s a deer, not a bear. You can see a deer anywhere. A matter of fact we stood at our campsite in Cades Cove with a doe and her two fawns, as if they were our pets.

I think a daily constitutional is one of those bodily functions that are pretty private. However when you are camping you have to learn to crap with the crowd. So when you are at a campground that has only two stalls for a parking lot full of people you need to do your duty fast and move on. So lady that brought your reading material to the bathroom…what were you thinking? Please reserve leisure poo for home.

We love camping next to girls who leave there cooler and food spread out on the picnic...they are no where to be found. It was a side show for us to watch the ranger confascate those bear magnet items. His nice big wooden sign that said "we got to your stuff before the bears did" was a welcome when they returned. Oh course no one budgets the $75 fee it takes to get your cooler back from the park jail.

Now I know you want to know this; did we see bear? Yes we did, two, one on Cades Cove Loop Road (after we finished hiking the Abrams Fall) and another standing smack in the center of the Blue Ridge Parkway. The BRP bear stood sideways on the road (as our car approached) and took up the entire highway lane. It was a Volkswagen bug sized bear. Impressive in size, no doubt. No there is no record of the bear sightings since, as fast as a camera can be grabbed the beasts are on the move. We are told we missed a mother bear and her two cubs on the Gregory Bald trail. Which is just fine by me; mother bear can be aggressive when her cubs are in tow.