Thursday, June 17, 2010

The Best Alarm Clock Is Sunshine on Chrome

I woke this morning at 445am, crawled out of bed at 5am to a liking of Tim Allen in Wild Hogs. There stood my man in his blue jeans, rustic orange Harley T-shirt (that he bought in San Juan over spring break, because it seems he collects Harley shirts like old ladies collect spoons on vacations), the black riding boots and...a doo rag. Oh-my-gosh what a sight! Then I went to move the car to the street so he could get the hog out of the garage and I felt rain.

Then the next layer appeared.

A rain suit.

I thought he owned a rain suit for fishing but, it turns out that when I close my eyes something new--and needed-- appears. Necessaries. Of course. Like the special underwear he bought yesterday for twenty bucks. I don't even own a pair of twenty dollar underwear. Good thing the dog only has a taste for the female undies. These golden undies are made specially for riding; I take it from the looks that the fabric is more breathable. Underwear are underwear to me. Wear a few holes in a pair of Fruit of the Looms and wa-la, breathable panties. Or better yet, stop riding, stand-up and let air circulate around saddle bound seat. There was also a special waterproof sissy bar bag (known to us females as luggage). Next there was the speakers he purchased and mounted to the handle bars to which he can play his iPod, wind in the face, new luggage and fancy panties down a country highway what more can a man desire?

At 830am King Ralph woke his family with a text message picture of all the guys' Harley's resting at the gas station. D was less than impressed as she was in a sound slumber. M shakes her head and I just giggle; forwarding the message to the cousin's wife. Princess A shared some wise cracks with the gals from work which also had her doctor boss inquiring.

In the mean time I am tracking the trip through the bank. I can see how far they have traveled by where the debit card says the boys fueled.

Then we think the trip has met its high by traveling the highways and byways we get a final text picture message of Frank from the History Channel's American Pickers. Seems that King Ralph and his cousin noticed the American Pickers boys in the hotel. Next thing they know they are buying one of them a beer and chatting up a storm about the old bikes they uncover when "picking".

The girls gave King Ralph a Flip Video camera for Father's Day to record his trip and the guys attempt to mimic the Wild Hogs movie.

So while the gang of guys stretch out the celebration of fatherhood I am left home tending to a full calendar of band trivia night, band car washes, four days of summer community theater performances, dishes, laundry....

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