Add Candle Please

I am celebrating the merriment of growing a year older.  Or am I celebrating the merriment being perimenapausal?

I had this dream last week that I took a pregnancy test and it came out showing an odd sign on the stick so I peed on the stick again for it to show positive.  I believe I woke in a sweat, a cold sweat this time.  I mentioned to Princess A and D last night my lack of menstruating when it was suggested that my dream might be coming true.  I don't know what made me speak what was rolling in my mind out loud but I replied "not a chance I was in a camper" forget the dawg was snipped a decade plus ago.  The look on D's face was, well, priceless.  Forget that my favorite thing in life was to trap the girls in the car and talk sex ed with them (a trapped captive audience when driving 65mph down the highway can't escape the lessons)-- they would prefer to believe a stork dropped them off at the door than that their parents....

I considered making this Paula Dean treat for myself for my birthday except one, it is to damn hot outside to fire up the oven and two, with my metabolism all whacked the last thing I need to add is hard to burn fat to my frame.  I guess I'll stick a candle in my celery stalk snack.

I am going to take the hiatus of the curse of womanhood as a birthday gift of sorts.  What do I call that two hour hot flash I had Saturday night causing me to lose sleep?        

If I don't melt away on this birthday of mine I will consider it a great accomplishment in my year older--feels like 111* today. Uhg!

Here's to great adventures to come in my-- another year older.