Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Eve Bunting Wrote A Book About It --Nasty, Stinky Sneakers

 If Hell had a bottled smell it would smell like these sneakers-- M's marching band tennies.

I tell you these shoes smell worse than sh@*! I have changed baby diapers that compared to, smell like a rose.  I would almost rather camp out in an outhouse than have those beastly sneakers in my car--the scent lingers, for weeks.  How to expunge the odor is a challenge of maximum proportion!  I have tried letting the fresh outdoor air and sunshine bake it out.  I have washed them in boiling hot water, with every type of detergent, coated in Spray-n-Wash, extra Tide sprinkle in the shoe for the washing and then followed with a sprinkle of baking soda in the shoe.  To no avail the scent sticks. Not an ounce of the pungent smell seems to leave.  It is stuck like feather to tar.  Friday night I had to walk down the band hall to find a teen-- consider it a miracle that I sit here with my fingers clicking on this keyboard-- I was hit with the smell of those sneakers times five-hundred.  

Deadly!

After a morning of zero hour and first hour of marching practice, every kid removes their sneakers coated in morning dew then places them in a dark locker that is sealed till the next day. Ech shoe is breeding a bacteria that I swear no janitorial product known to man can cure (and probably no biologist has scene under a microscope). However, I have vowed to find a cure for the stench allowing the M's shoes to enter my house.  As of now, actually for the last four years, they have been grounded to the garage only.

(The photo shown was taken in my front foyer on the way to the garage)

So what does a mom do? She Googles "how to rid odor from tennis shoes".  Here is what the search options are: wash sneakers, dry them, place them in a large zip lock and place in the freezer overnight.  The article swears cold kills the bacteria created from smelly wet shoes.  And, kitty litter in a knee high nylon then stuffed in the shoe.  The article promising that kitty litter draws the moisture from the shoe plus the odor.  I suppose I will give it a try. What do I have to lose?

So if you happen to open my freezer tomorrow to grab a toaster strudel just shift the sneakers--but do not remove.  If you happen to bring you cat by for a visit don't let him think the sneakers are the litter box. 

If none of these crazy ideas work then the final option is-- burn'em!