Story Set-up: Last Friday morning before surgery I did a load of laundry; basic reason was to secure clean undies for myself...threw in dryer and to the hospital I went.
Monday morning I hear a moan from M and these words followed--"the stupid dog, she chewed a hole in my favorite ten dollar underwear!"
First of all I am unaware we spend ten dollars on a pair underwear. For that price we must have silk Victoria Secret panties in the house and not the cotton four pairs for twenty-dollars. Then the next morning I hear another ugh. Another pair of new panties have fallen victim to the dog's snack attack.
What is it with our dog? Why does she love to eat underwear--girls,dirty underwear. The newer the pair the better. And why not King Ralph's?
It's not like her food bowl isn't brimming with Kibbles and Bits. Could it be her supply of fresh [vole] meat isn't awake and peeking from the ground teasing a game of catch and eat, turning the backyard into a scene of Baghdad.
Yesterday afternoon I took a shower and realized that the girls never emptied the dryer. In there moments of nursing me and setting clean clothes on the bathroom counter...they merely fetched a fresh pair of undies from the dryer each day. So I trudged down to the laundry room, reached in the dryer slipped on a pair of panties and decided...I think today I will accomplish a chore and tossed in a load of towels. Then grabbed some fresh jammies from on top the dryer, tossed my towel wrap in the wash machine and went back to the couch for more rest.
Hours later I needed to use the restroom. There I was astonished, as I sat on the toilet I noticed I was wearing crotchless panties. DAM DOG! She chewed a nice big hole for my yoowho to be all exposed. I could literally slip my hand in the chewed hole and wave a good-bye to this once pair of undies from my desperate pile. Thank God for that--the undies were from the desperates.
But still.
Why?
Why can't our dog like chew toys and learn to play fetch?
No, instead our dog wants all the girls in the house to wear crotchless panties.
The dog, I think, wants us to be strippers.
UGH!
Honey, for Valentines Day I could use new panties.
4 comments:
FUNNY!!!!!!!!!! Almost TMI..., but FUNNY!!!!!!! Georgina will get a kick out of this one!
That's what I here for to share TMI and make you laugh.
I'm gathering the dog is a male? They all have the same mentality--men and dogs alike. And at the price of panties!! Yikes. I'd bad mouth the darned dog, but my cat just dumped a full vase of 2 dozen red roses and about a half a gallon of water all over the place. What we don't tolerate for the animals....sigh.
Lin- the dog is female. Which means I think I should worry about her more-- especially when she wants to play with her dog friend Penny lol
Or maybe its because I insisted we name her after Uli the fashion designer contestant from Project Runway...our Uli is getting a feel for fabric.
Either way--dam the dog and her fabric feast.
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