The Hallmark Holiday of All Hallmark Holidays

The creator of cards was a holiday genius! He, or she, decided to start making up days to throw on the calendar to make people spend money unnecessarily and ease guilty consciences. 

Let's take Valentine's Day as example one.  It's a day that men boost the flower business, because all the other 364 days of the year they've neglected to tell their wives--thanks for making sure I always have clean underwear in my drawer. 

Example two Mothers Day. It is the day when you either get to celebrate your mother-in-law, by preparing what every food needs to be contributed to honor the day and then do the dishes. Or is it a day devised just to piss mother's off, as they realize for one day everyone will be on their best behavior? While the other 364 days of the year they're allowed to drive you mad.

There's my favorite--Grandparents Day. Whatever that day is suppose to be? A filler lesson for preschool teachers around the country???

My favorite: Secretary's Day. A complete crock! It's the day when bosses send that gal who works for them to lunch or maybe plops a plant on their desk and says thanks, today...although I forget to really appreciate your efforts all the other days. Then Hallmark goes and upgrades the day with a new title: Administrative Assistants Day. Even better, Administrative Professional Day. Really?! Wouldn't it just be nice to make the paper typists of the world feel better if their bosses simply said thanks for doing your job well every so often, instead of just once a year? 

Is it really necessary to celebrate certain  career options with a single special day? I mean I don't see Hallmark creating cards for Garage Collectors Day or Grocery Bagger Day. Why do we need days on a calendar to be forced to say thanks? To appreciate the efforts of the job that draws us paychecks? 

So, since I'm feeling so cynical I'll be celebrating National Walk At Lunch Day today instead of Secretary's Day or Administrative Assistant's Day, or whatever Hallmark decideds to call this day. All I need is my Fitbit and a little sunshine!