How I Met My Daughter's Roommate

There is some reality TV shows that I just have to draw the line at watching--Toddlers & Tiaras is one of those. I blame it on Jon Benet Ramsey who's passing brought spotlight to the world of little people beauty pageantry. A world of pint sized babes with over lacquered hair, pancaked make-up, spray on tans, fake teeth called flippers and Little Miss Sunshine talent moves.

Last November Princess A's long time college roommate withdrew from school due to a serious medical condition. She went quite a long while living the private dorm room life. If you can't have the roommate you love and adore than sleeping single in a double room was the cat's meow.

Until...

"Miss America" moved in.

Well, not literally Miss America, more like Missouri Miss Teen International. Not one of those authentic titles either; it's one of those titles you purchase with an over priced pageant entry fee. "Miss America" was Princess A's roommate from hell. She would never take the trash out and when suggested would ask how to perform such a task. Making a bed...another task that offered challenge, requiring a lesson (but not given more than an eye roll of "really") . The saving grace was "Miss America" was hardly a permanent resident of the room. I often visited Princess A at college, with it being only a hundred miles away, and never once did I meet the illusive roommate. Not once.

Now I know why.

I was out last night and received a call I answered to a screeching voice that was near inaudible. It turns out "Miss America" made her debut on Toddlers & Tiaras. She is a pageant coach, has her own home run business complete with a pageant practice room. OMG! "Miss America" was responsible for several of these pint sized beauty babes trying to attain a "supreme title" in some small town here in Missouri. And double OMG that I actually sat to watch my first (and last) episode of this absolutely ridiculous reality show laced with mom's who appear to have missed out on what they probably see as their long desired opportunity to a sparkling crown, satin sash and a title of there own.

While King Ralph and I were meeting the roommate for the first time, Princess A's cell phone was ringing and buzzing with text coming in from sorority sisters. All the while I just sat there shaking my head saying seriously.

So while we never got to meet and greet the roommate at least know we know what she was up. She was busy enhancing the world with fabricated beauty.