The Thing That Wakes Me

This past weekend I had the time off from my usual Fall routine of football and band to indulge in some cooking and cleaning. There is nothing I love more than:

1. the one free weekend of the marching band season

2. getting down on my hands and knees to scrub all my hard wood floors

3. welcoming in the cool, no cold, weather by whipping up some comfort foods

Now I am not sure if I was whipping up those comfort foods to fill our bellies or to comfort the pain of our beloved Cardinals sucking at baseball by giving away our chance at another try at"on the road to the World Series". I believe the answer is--both. Somehow my white chili and Shepard's Pie did the trick to fill bellies and ease our Cardinal pain.

Sunday evening after heaping helpings of Shepard's Pie and buttermilk biscuits, King Ralph and I headed to the grocery store to fill the cart with liquid goodness. There was bottles of blue Gatorade. White grape juice. Chicken broth. Milk of Magnesia. Miralax. With all this delicious liquid there is only one thing a man can do...ask his family not to eat around him on Monday as he prepares to starve himself in preparation for his first colonoscopy.

So here I am at 330am slumbering away only to be awakening by the sounds of a beast trying to escape the inners of my husband. A man who can do nothing more than crap blue Gatorade. I am by no means a light sleeper, but being woke by the movement of your partner's intestines is simply crazy! How long can one crap blue Gatorade? More than 12 hours it seems.

While I will drag myself to work, slap on a fake smile under my two dark sleep deprived bags; good ole' King Ralph will have a photo shoot via the hind end with a celebration nap in our warm comfy bed.

I'm feeling a little jealous. Of the nap part. And nothing else!

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King Ralph has a beautiful colon and a pretty appendix. I think we will blow the pictures to 8x10's and frame them for display on the fireplace mantel.