Little Camper in the National Park

A few Yellowstone highlights…

Hiking was incredible. We chose short and medium hikes with a level of difficulty that was moderately strenuous—although Princess A says they were “difficult in her book”. The trails were mostly switchbacks, right up the side of a mountain of course, so it was a good workout. The views, once we reached the top were undoubtedly incredible!

The wildlife. We had bison at the campground that just hung out in front of our camper--it was like a dog in the yard.

Here’s the big highlight for you…while touring the Mud Volcano area we were greeted by this sign,

then this bisonI noticed the bison had some lazy birds trying to rest upon his back (so I snapped a photo) when suddenly he was not pleased with his back company…and before I could put the put my camera to rest he took off running--BUFFALO STAMPEDE! The dam thing took off crossing right in front of me sending women running saying things like “I’m getting the hell out of here” or “if that didn’t make you crap your pants”. He then flopped to the ground rolled his back in the dirt, rose and stampeded up the hill were the rest of my family stood. Nevertheless exciting.

The weather. One word for the night…brrrrrr! On Tuesday night I awoke to look at our traveling thermometer (we refer to now as our thermostat) to see not only my breath puffing white clouds inside the camper but a temperature read of 48* (20 degrees warmer than outside). Obviously this little propane heater was cutting it! I immediately prepared hot chocolate for all. But the day weather was fantastic. We had moments where we were rather chilly and then moments when we removed our layers and acquired nice backpacker’s tans.

We managed to catch geysers at the moment of eruption, never having to linger like a typical Yellowstone tourist. We saw incredible waterfalls and breath taking views never to repeat themselves. (Fountain Geyser)

(Tower Falls in the Grand Canyon of Yellowstone, which I climbed Uncle Tom's trail, 328 steps down and then up again to see it from this view...exhausting!)

Next we took in a day at the Grand Tetons. Hiked and did gads of laundry.

We are now in Thermopolis enjoying the mineral hot springs. (The camper next to us has a delightful sign attached to the window that reads “if this camper is a rocking don’t come a knocking”,yuck…I want new camping neighbors!)

Little Camper in the Big Woods

Today the little camper took a ride through the Big Horn National Forest--beautiful, totally breath taking, awesome; as is most of God's vast open lands.

Elevation reached: 8743

We let little camper and the van's brakes take a much need rest (the front tires were so hot they were smoking) at Shell Falls. I am a lover of the water fall which made this rest stop worth the view.

We are resting this day in Cody, Wyoming; were we visited Buffalo Bill Dam.

Tomorrow morning I (we) will take my last "free" shower (for four days) as we enter Yellowstone. The girls have offered to skip meals, forgoing there meal allowance, in exchange for a $4 shower. I suggested dry shampoo and baby powder along with a hot meal...so far no takers over the age of twelve.

However it will be 32* at night for the entire Yellowstone experience...my hope is we will all be so tired after 20 miles of hiking that we will hardly tell how cold we are and that our newly acquired propane heater warms us to the core.

Go primitive tomorrow so until then...

...the journey continues

Here's a few more of the weeks highlights:

There was Crazy Horse

There was Mt. Rushmore

Then this greatness of fun today, Devils Tower--of which we took to climbing the boulder field to the highest point allowed without a permit. (I should probably mention the campground we are at is where Steven Spielberg filmed Close Encounter of a Third Kind--it is the nightly outdoor movie, which is shown while you peer up at Devils Tower...how cool is that?!)

A few other things I should mention...it has been rather cold at night lately, say in the 30's, prompting us to wear stocking caps to bed and also to seek out a sporting good store to purchase a propane fueled heater (preparing for our rather primitive digs when we get to Yellowstone with its 28* temperatures). Also today we saw a genuine cattle drive down the middle of US-24. Our camper's back end was sprayed with cow dung, as is the under side of our van...but you know we didn't care because, it was so awesome a sight-- complete with several handsome cowboys.

I am calling it a night early, King Ralph is entertaining the girls at the feature film...a bit of hard to find peace in our "close encounters".

Nomads to Trail Blazers to Storm Watchers

Wednesday. We set out to daypack Badlands National Park. King Ralph favored a nomadic style of hiking to start with and so, we set out across the rocky terrain and prairies.

Crossed land like five pioneers till we caught the Castle Trail.

Then we picked up on the Medicine Loop to finish 11 miles of a day hike. Oh something I learned on the hike...I am still allergic to grass, even prairie grass...I got hives wickedly on both outer calves...thankfully King Ralph brought some Preparation H with him (yes the butt hole cream has many magical powers). It so soothed my legs I could not refrain from saying out loud "this is what a butt hole feels like when it gets an application, it feel good"

Then we did Notch Trail. This experience made me breathe hard and take hold of my fear of heights with out security boundaries; for when you got to the top you were at cliff edge.

we ended the night with a terrible storm, complete with tornado warnings. Folks in grond tents sought shelter in the laundry room. I made use of the storm and did laundry...yes even on the road chores can not elude me.

Little Camper on the Prairie

Early morning and I sit a gaze at the South Dakota prairie--so I will leave you with a few pics and a story of yesterday's adventure.

Tuesday. What happened to the days of road trips that had mom in the passenger seat with her road map stretched across the dash board, the kids in the back seat playing I Spy and license plate games, while dad sang corny vacation songs? No, in 2007 this family rolled down the road with the voice of "sexy lady" alerting us to merge on I-29 and I-90, a feature film on the small screen--RV starring Robin Williams and Fleetwood Mac's The Dance boomed on the mini-vans surround sound. All the while D kept true to one road trip caviar of the past; the license plate game. We bought her sticker book of all 51 license plates to spot; without warning you can hear her 12 year old gasp at the thrill of finding a California plate on I-29 while the wheels roll through South Dakota.

South Dakota. I can understand why people want to live here. The rolling hills that change colors of greens casted by the blue sky and sunshine above. The grass plant that blows across the prairie in a domino effect, yet popping up straight again to repeat. The rock formations of the Badlands. All breath takenly beautiful.

But to understand what chased our pioneers from this Badlands was to feel the light breeze of the daytime to turn to a roaring wind of the night. The camper's tent end bounced about--not quite sure if I should sweat fear or let it lull me to sleep like a baby in a cradle.

I suppose I took the lull of a cradle.

From the Road

I am sitting here with my eyes affixed to the Lewis and Clark Lake, which grace me even from the camper's end window. The light cool breeze, the sweetness of the bird songs and my still sleeping family make the ease into this Iowa morning rather peaceful.

Yesterday's highway highlights were... the trucker with the mid-rif shirt, so wrong on many levels (not to mention a horrifying sight) that I will refrain from posting the picture Princess A snapped for a keepsake...or the homemade camper-- a pop-up camper base build with plywood walls, painted white with a black spray paint announce "goen fishing"; fear was an emotion we possessed as we passed the wobbling wood, wondering who would scrap his remains from road when he toppled over...there was the sour cream chives french fries at the local hole in the wall, and the broasted chicken was tasty too.

Shortly I will awake my family and will hit highway once again-- for the Badlands.

Road Trip Preperations

The transfer has begun. Transferring everything in the house into the camper; we leave on Monday morning--excitement and panic all mixed together.

Yesterday King Ralph and I went to Uncle Sam's, this hideous military/camp store, to get some clips to add to our backpacks. The store definitely could use a woman's touch--for organizational purposes. It is the kind of place that is so packed to the gills and disorganized beyond description that it almost makes you nervous to be in there. However, the thing that creeped me out more than the discombobulated nature of the inside was the sign on the front door, it read "please unload guns and remove your face mask before entering the store." That was such a promising welcome...not!

Today I began what equivalents to moving the house into 12 square feet. I can not refrain from singing this line sung by Beyonce... to the left to the left everything you own in the box to the left. Imagine everything you will need to survive for a month on the road and then packing it all in a box (for five). My head is spinning, my list is growing longer with each passing minute-- before I can get it checked off another addition has been added...like how about Tampons...and Ben Gay (after a long hike I may need the noxious rub cream). I am sure in the next 30 seconds I will think of another item I believe this family can't live without.

I promise to post along the way (as we chose several WiFi friendly campgrounds), I wouldn't want for you to wonder about us for to long. I shall not let you down in the humor department as I report from the road.

Until later...heading west.

20 Years

I have woken to a light rain, the same weather that graced this day twenty years ago--my wedding day.

As 20 years is traditionally the year gifted of china--being that my china pattern is long ago retired, we don't possess passports for a trip to Hong Kong...there was the option of a lunch of Chinese take-out but, instead we opted for a twist on the gift giving...anything produced in the orient.

I gifted King Ralph with a new GPS (to which he chose the sexy lady to speak "make hard left"). Produced in Taiwan--it is a territory of China so it counts, right?

King Ralph gifted me with a new wide angle lens for my camera. Produced in Japan (I know not China but close, as the crow flys).

...and that my friends is as close to china as we can get. Creative.

The Things Our Kids Believe

D just said to me "aren't you gonna be sad next year after Princess A graduates from HS. Where will she live?"

I answered "in our home still". To which she replies "well you once told me you were kicking us out when we turned 18."

I am most certain I was being humorous when I said that years back. For some reason my baby girl must have been, is in a panic about where it is she will have to live in 6 years.

Maybe I will offer her a deal...rent for continued occupancy in the family home.

My Liver Thanks You

While I had no knocks at my door or rings on my phone I took to the job solo, it was a tough act to accomplish but, I am mastering the task quite well, if I may say so. This is the point I am at now...bet you wish you would have knocked or called.

Calling my Lady Friends

I have had a bottle of Jose's beverage of choice chilling in my frig from when Julie and I planned to celebrate our favorite Mexican holiday--it is taking up precious milk space in the frig.

Since Julie and I have agreed we needed to turn Cinco de Mayo into Cinco de Julyo (the first time we will be in town at the same time),I need a little help drinking Jose's beverage of choice. Having no one in my house of age to help drain the bottle, here I sit sipping alone.

It is just past midnight, the beverage effects compounded with my already weary self has me crawling the floor to my bed with one eye shut. (Or is it one eye open?)

Lady friends, the weekend camping trip is canceled due to predicted heavy rains; so if you could drag your tails over here to partake in the emptying of the bottle I would much appreciate it!

A Week for Maddi

The week started and ended on an M note.


First there was Sunday's Confirmation...
(which by all accounts was spiritually beautiful)

Then there was today's 8th Grade Recognition...

...where M was awarded a Certificate of Completion , President's Award for Educational Excellence, the Health Fitness Award, the National Physical Fitness Award, Outstanding Achievement in Social Studies, the Writing Award, the Avid Reader Award, Outstanding Member of the Band, Track Team and Beauty & Beast Crew.

Not to let M take all the spot light in the week...D was one of only 6 sixth graders in the choir to receive an Outstanding Musician Award at Wednesday evening's final concert of the year.

Princess A was kept with her nose in the books trying to devise a plan on how not to flunk her AP US History final exam.

As for me I am pouring myself a stiff drink (seriously, no joke) so I can absorb the idea of Princess A being considered now, a HS senior and M being considered a HS freshman...yikes!

A Lesson in Sex Ed

Here is a conversation D, age 12, had with me yesterday after school while relaxing on the couch after school.

D: did you know you can get pregnant in a hot tub.

J: really, and where did you hear this? And how exactly does it happen?

preparing myself to hear a smutty, rated-x story

D: at the slumber party, one of the girls told us

J: oh wow!...and tell me how does this happen?

D: a guy pees in the hot tub and then it can get in the woman

never mind the male content would boil to death before it reached the tunnel...okay please tell me that the sex ed talk I had with her the week before middle school started was in some way, in some part absorbed...please. please tell me she does not believe this

J: Aaaaahhhh babe you know we talked about this...you know it takes sperm to get pregnant and you know it takes the man's (I used very anatomically correct terms) and a woman's (again used proper terminology) and there must me be....insertion.

You know I hate saying that word but I had to, I had to teach the lesson...the correct way.

(I again gave the sex ed talk in description so to make certain that my child doesn't think next time she is at a hotel pool she'll wind up pregnant)

and with that Princess A can be heard from the kitchen in a panic style tone

A: OH MY GOSH NO-NO-NO Aaaaaahhhhh PLEASE STOP I HATE THESE TALKS Aaaaaaahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

with that D rises from the couch extends her arm with her palm facing me, fingers stretched out wide moving backwards slowly from the couch

D: I know I know I heard this once before DON'T DON'T no more PLEASE PLEASE

inching ever slowly towards her bedroom till she reaches the door and says her last words

D: that's enough no more!!!

...and the door closes--slam!

My final thought was the girl who gave out this slumber party sex ed information well, she needs a mama to tell her some truthful facts. Or God help her.

Song Selection

The second stanza of the Mother's Day poem M wrote for me went like this...
I love the way you think you're cool dancing to This is why I'm Hot, I love the way we all know you're not. (I was in no way offended by this line but rather chuckled because, the girls just can't yet appreciate my greatness to dancing to a rap style song).

So imagine the pressure I must feel when I receive a wedding invitation and the response card asks to "please list your favorite dance tunes". What do I list? Something slow--being safe. Something with a slight beat; to move a bit yet not questioning my said lack of rhythm and talent. Or should I go with an all out Saturday Night Fever style song that will cause question as to why this freaky chick was invited to the celebration? Then I think, after the bride's parents have bought a few cocktails for the room, every one's dance selections could be in question.

Oh hell I am going to suggest an all-out-full-body-seizure style song...now which one...accepting suggestions for my suggestion.

The Gift a Mother Can Do Without

Silly me not to realize the terrier was bred to hunt vermin.

So today Uli, our beloved ever-dumb-unable-to-fetch-a-bone-Carin-Terrier-puppy-dog gifted me--on this Mother's Day with, a mouse. Yep a dead little gray mouse.

On the bright side I suppose you could say I won't have a mouse in the house.

So to all of you who weren't so lucky to get such a unique gift...Happy Mother's Day!

Today I am bordering on the line of...

being the Wicked Witch of the West.

Field Trip and a Ball Game

I am just now finally sitting down at nearly 11pm, for the first time all day...I can hardly explain the level of exhaustion I am feeling, and question why the heck I am even bothering to blog.

I spent a great deal of my day here:

Where D & I, and the rest of the middle school's team 6C learned how to do this:

...and to think I was GS Leader of the Year and didn't know you could start a fire with steel wool and a 9-volt battery. (Just place a small amount of steel wool under some frayed jute rope, touch the 9-volt battery to the steel wool and automatic ignite.) I find this so very freaking fascinating I am going to be the official fire starter for all our family camping trips.

It would be a form of injustice if I didn't mention the school bus ride...no one over the age of 30 should be made to ride a school bus for more than 20 minutes. After the first 30 minutes of the 1.5 hour ride in the broke down, worn out bus seat--my ass HURT! But this guy made it worth the ride:

Honestly he was, despite his eclectic appearance, the best school bus driver ever...very safety conscience, a real stickler for making the children follow rules.

Then I rushed home where I chocked down food from a can, or in this case three cans, into the mouths and stomachs of my off spring while I showered my field trip stink and grub off my body, made a costume change and headed to Busch Stadium--all in 38 minutes, to see (or should I say hear) this:

The select group of 6th, 7th & 8th graders did a beautiful job of harmonizing. Good job!...Go Cards!!...finally the ole' red birds did it, they won a game.

Tomorrow is not quite as intense as today but it offers up few lulls.

The Gift

Our weekend was full, and that is a word that hardly lends itself to description.

I could whine that the weather was in true and perfect form for Julie and I to have a margarita, chips-n-salsa on the back deck...unfortunately neither of us could create an hour, more or less minute in our crazy Saturday to squeak our traditional show of celebration and observation for the Mexican holiday.

Should I post a picture of A's round two of prom? She wore the same dress and had the same date so it is hardly worth showing off the only things different (the updo, wrist corsage and the vest of the young man's tux).

How about if I post pictures from M's band competition trip to Kansas City. Who wants to see pictures of a herd of 14 yr olds on a coach bus or the pounding rain pictures taken from the bus window (prior to running like bats out of hell to the theater where they competed, grabbing instruments; not there's but any ole' instrument).

So instead I will tell a story which accompanied our gift which we presented to M at the 2007 Confirmation Class Family Gathering/Dinner Sunday evening. (Which if I may add the dessert, a towering 4x3 square of heavy rich chocolate cake with warm thick chocolate fudge dripped atop with a scoop of vanilla ice cream--decadent, heaven at its earthly best).

When we gave Princess A her confirmation gift we wanted her gift to reflect a part of who she was; she was the girl who played her flute at the Saturday evening folk style worship services--so we gifted her with a new opened whole flute. Something she longed to own so she was tickled pink (and we were a few $$$ poorer) and it thrilled us. Making it so worth it.

Now it's M's turn, what to get her??? What is something who reflects who M is? Then I thought she was named with my maternal grandmother's first name as her middle name, I would draw from there. I now had the perfect gift idea in mind. I just needed to find someone willing to create it.

So here goes the story that accompanied our gift presentation (*note the presenter had her usual I-am-proud-of-my-child-hold-back-the-cry-face as she told the story while King Ralph feared he would have to take over the story telling)...

When my grandmother was a little girl attending Hope Lutheran Church on the south side of Chicago one could earn an anchor pin in different metal tones for each grouping of Sundays Sunday school was attended--the first grouping of Sundays earned a bronze anchor, then a silver anchor till you reached the gold anchor. Why an anchor? The anchor is one of the oldest inscriptions to be found in the catacombs, dating back to the second century. During times of persecution, the anchor took the shape of a cross to those who knew its hidden meaning. The anchor is the christian symbol of "hope", hence why Hope Lutheran gifted there youth with the anchor.

In 1932 my grandmother finally earned her gold anchor.

Then in 1940 my grandfather, an 18 yr old young man now employed asked her what she would like as a Christmas gift. She explained to him what she really wanted was probably much to expensive, that she had a dear friend (who had earned her anchor two years prior to her), whose parents had taken the anchor pin and had it set down in black onyx then mounting it in a ring. She always admired her friend's ring, that she also would like the same thing done to her cherished gold anchor.

And so my grandfather did just that, gifted her on Christmas 1940 with her anchor mounted into a ring. Today the ring is among her three most cherished items (the other two being Aunt Lily's punch bowl and the gold locket my grandfather gave her for her 17th birthday).

Since the original ring has now been passed down to someone else we approached our jeweler about recreating the ring. A fete he was both excited and perplexed by how to get a gold anchor-- or a lapidarist willing to set the anchor-- into the onyx (for the record there is not one in the St. Louis area). So after many trips back and forth to the jeweler we agreed on a new symbolic version of my grandmother's anchor ring.

It isn't just like my grandmother's ring but it has the same components, it holds that same special symbolic meaning--a ring to always be worn to remind M in the hope Christ offers; the black onyx, a color which means constancy--being unchanging or unwavering, as in purpose, love, or loyalty; firmness of mind; faithfulness.

Knowing that M is at a crossroad in her life when hope is the very thing she needs to embrace, the ring could not have come at a better time--for her and us. So when she feels like life has set an elephant on her shoulders, a weight unbearable to carry, she can glance down at her hand and remember "hope" is there beckoning to fill her heart--it is near the palm of her hand to reach out for and grasp.

Before I could allow myself to drip tears M unwrapped the ring, turned to me and gave me a kiss, then kissed her daddy. That is when you know you must be doing something okay as a parent...because she was the only confirmand who publicly displayed her affection for her parents.

Therapy or Not?

Do you think it is possible that I have lost my mind when...I go to put the hot dog buns in the pantry 3 feet away but walk all the way down the hallway to the back of the house to put the hot dog buns in the linen closest?

Questions?

This list of question has arised through out my day

As long as every member of this family has clean underwear in there drawers--even if they are down to there "desperates", am I allowed to say screw the laundry?

Or if the drawers are empty can I tell them all to pick there cleanest-dirtiest-pair and turn them inside out?

Cause honestly, that is how I feel this week.

Lazy? Probably!

***************

I'm hungry.

Honey Wheat Braided Twists Pretzels or Reduced Fat Cheez-Its?

Reduced Fat Cheez-Its!

**************

I see Maddi's 1st Draft of her confirmation Faith Statement waiting to be printed...

edit or not edit?

EDIT!

What kind of a "keeper" would I be if I didn't assist her in achieving perfection.

*************

Entenmann's crumb topped donut or tread mill?

I know you're thinking what kind of stupid question is that...of course the crumb topped donut!

Things I Never Grow Old Of...

1. Looking at Jon Bon Jovi (American Idol tonight reminded me of that)

2. Hearing the music from the Wizard of Oz (it was one of the selections that the Symphonic Band --and Alee played this evening for the spring concert, loved it!)

3. Kissing M's face and wiping her tears (dam that &^%$#@* back brace)

4. The smell of rain approaching on a warm spring day

5. Catching a nap in the car while the girls take music lessons (I'm waiting for the music teacher's neighbor to call the police one day to say there is a dead woman in a mini van parked in front of the house)

6. Talking to my sister on the phone

7. Hugging King Ralph

8. Watching D do her homework with nothing less than a goal of perfection in mind

9. Counting the days till school ends (a girl just can only take so many days of packing three brown bag lunches a day)

10. Making these ridiculous list to remind myself life is indeed wonderful!

Pass the O2

I am going to have one of those weeks where I could use a tank of oxygen in case I forget to breath. My calendar runneth over!

...and the biggest issue I have to tackle is how my neighbor Julie and I will celebrate Cinco de Mayo in our usual fashion (margaritas, chips and salsa on the back deck) on Saturday--kids home, Alee preparing for round two of prom, etc... Is it legal and acceptable to celebrate Cuatro de Mayo...crap the kids are off school that day...so say Tres de Mayo?

*******************************

Someone I know recently referred to the impending birth of there child--a watched pot never boils...well today the doctor at the Spine Center made me, us believe that saying is in fact true.

We arrived at 1:22pm at the orthodics office, got the brace fitted--in record time. Then headed to the Spine Center, checked in at 2:15pm for our 230pm appointed. To spare myself of remembering how fricking long it took to see the doctor and how M and I entertained each other, and occasionally they would send in a some body to tease us-- I will just say we saw the doctor at 4:30pm (all the while trapped in the examination cubicle). Every time M asked me what time it was I simply said "a watched pot never boils".

Needless to say this will not go down in history as a favorite day. If I could wear the burdens of my children's health I would so willingly. Since I can't, I say they are my heroes.

A Grandson's Reflection

I asked my hubby this morning if he had a favorite memory of his grandmother... he looked at me and said "you know what I will remember most of all, is that on Good Friday Grandma walked in the kitchen to tell me she was leaving, I turned to her gave her a hug and said be careful Grandma, I'll see you." My hubby then said "and for some reason I felt compelled to stop what I was doing and walk her to the door where I gave her another big tight hug."

Strange how God knows for us we need to have that extra moment with someone we love, leaving us with an everlasting warm feeling in heart.

Paging Gee-Gee...It's God

We all have treasured memories of our grandmothers, on this day great-grandmothers.

For my maternal great grandmother, whom we all affectionately called Gram--I can still feel the gentle movement of her hand, with her clear coated polished nails tenderly tickle the outline of our faces. She was the world's best tickler...and when anyone of her great grandchildren asked "Gram will you draw my face" she never refused. I can still picture her sitting in her chair in her living room with its apricot color painted walls (those walls never changed color) as we played with metal soldiers from years gone by. I remember our birthday cards always included two crisp one dollar bills and for Christmas a crisp five dollar bill. I remember my cousin Michelle and I sneaking a cigarette behind the funeral home the day of her visitation. We thought we were so under cover teenagers...but we weren't. (Don't worry neither of us smokes).

Treasured memories.

Today--heavy hearted--my daughters and there cousins will be tucking in there hearts treasured memories of there own great grandmother-- whom personally requested prior to A and her cousin Katie's birth to be affectionately referred to as "Gee-Gee".

Gee-Gee will be remembered for her root beer floats. A & M were so disappointed when she moved from her house to the retirement complex, "now we won't have root beer floats when we visit her". No matter what the time of day it was Gee-Gee was prepared to dole out a root beer float to her great grandchildren. Never was a root beer float refused!

I will recall asking Gee-Gee if she would like a cocktail when we gathered for holidays...most of the time she would order a beer, in a glass, with one ice cube. I never bothered to ask why one ice cube (either she wanted her beer watered down or chilled just a bit more). But, whatever the reason it is, the memory I hold in heart.

We last gathered as a family in whole and enjoyed Gee-Gee on Good Friday. She always called, without fail, the next day to say how nice everything was and what a good time she had.

So I speak for Charley, Stephie, Alee, Katie, Maddi, Kellie, Demi Anne, Alyssa, Austin and Jacob by saying thank you Gee-Gee for the memories, thank you for being you!

God, she is yours now. To which I am most positively certain he said to her "Marie, welcome home".

Round One on the Prom Circuit

Dress: $45 on the sale rack

Shoes: $20

Jewelry-ears, finger, hair: $26

Hair: $17

Some New Make-up: $12

Not Killing your parents pocket: PRICELESS

Princess A wearing the same dress twice & having the same date: EVEN MORE PRICELSS!

The Somewhat Dreaded Phone Call

I knew the call was coming, but I certainly have not waited for it with any type of anticipation...M's back brace is in, uhg! We tread out to the Center for Advanced Medicine on Monday April 30--the straightening of the spine begins.

I'll remind myself often that God is good...despite all M's little medical quarks, all the hurdles she has had to jump-- she is perfect in every sense of the word, and for that I will be, am, thankful.

Red Bird Fever

King Ralph, Princess A and our little jester M are all at the Cardinal game tonight (decked out in red bird jerseys) ...D and I are home plunked on the couch tuned into Fox Sports. Do you think there is something wrong with this picture?

...Cause the more I think about it I do!

Age Defying

I bought some Instant Age Rewind make-up base--I was looking to fill in my developing crows feet with some face spackle. Oh brother! Rewind this make-up is not...fast forward is more like it! Even in my complexion tone color this make-up makes me look more like a corpse than rewind back in years.

I suppose the hidden message in this Instant Age Rewind make-up base is--six feet under ground gives you a better chance at holding time still.

I say to myself now, shut up and love the crows feet!

Progress

Princess A looked like this the first 48 hours-- her cornea got scratched in surgery and it was painful! That was additional to the regular surgery pain.

Finally on March 28, after yet another dose of Percocet, she opened her eye.

On the 29th her friends popped over for a visit, brought her a Ted Drew's sundae--she smiled; friendship they say is the best medicine.

A kiss on the head from Dad reassures Princess A her 17th birthday, the next day, will be good--even if she feels like poop and has lots of post surgery complications that have to be addressed by the doctor.

March 31st, Princess A awoke to being 17 years old--a cookie bouquet delivery from Aunt Debbie, Uncle Livingston & Alyssa with both birthday and get well wishes bought another smile

Princess A's self portrait--she really wanted to get a full rotation photo of her surgically repaired eyeball

One of the post surgery complication fixes was getting these mod eyeglasses, to which a prism [was going] to be affixed too.

By April 4 her eye is healing up nicely! (Her prom date is less freaked about how his date will appear) The doctor says he thinks she won't need that third surgery, he wants to let her brain continue to sense/soak up the visual change. Being born without a few (important) nerves in your eye is no joy.

Yesterday Princess A returned to the raquetball court, not a full on game more like a low key game of tag with the ball. Now, today, April 12 Princess A has finally been approved to take to the wheel of the car. After school we are going to hit the road! That will be in about 10 minutes. Wish us luck ;-)

Hollywierd

I am going to have a great night's sleep just knowing now who fathered Anna Nicole's baby...you can't even begin to know how many sleepless nights I have had in anticipation over the announcement of paternity...I can't remember the last time I will have had such a great night's sleep...oh yes I do, that was the night Suri Cruise's photos appeared in Vanity Fair.

Hollywierd, gotta love it?

Holy Weekend

Friday we had our Not-So-Annual-Good-Friday-Fish-Fry (not so annual because sometimes King Ralph has to work nights on Good Friday). We had a great time! The highlights of the evening were: my mother in law's surprise cole slaw-- who the fun puts raisins, I said raisins (and apples) in creamy cole slaw?...the fried fish....my sister in law trying to pull off the chicken tenders she brought as chicken of the sea (photos documented the razzing)...the mojitos...the kids moonlight egg hunt...and family (expect Danny who didn't show with the wine he was bringing)

We couldn't resist marking the dining room table reserved with this sign

Princess A added her touch to the Good Friday Chicken of the Sea

...as I went to package the left over Chicken of the Sea, I found a curious addition

...then there was the question of legitimacy of cousin Kelli's flashlight-- for the moonlight egg hunt... not to mention the conspiracy theory brewing over M finding two of the five dollar eggs

D desperately searches for one of the eggs with a five dollar bill hidden inside

Saturday Princess A, M and D dyed Easter eggs, while watching the Sound of Music

...the Easter question of the day was which parka to wear with our new spring Easter outfits

(L to R: Princess A, D, KeeperoftheHouse, M)

Princess A braved the 28* Easter temperatures to test out her new floppy hat (that doubled as her Easter basket), her new sunglasses and her giant bubble wand

I had a GREAT Easter Weekend and I just required a nap after all the fun had ended

Friendship and Lip Stick

When I think my week(s) stinks my friend drops me a card which reminds me, "there is nothing a little lipstick can't fix"...

...and so I have been applying my lipstick frequently...and you know I feel better already!

There was no hash in the brownies

When M & I left The Spine Center yesterday afternoon we over heard the most adorable little black girl-- around nine years old, dressed in a school uniform of crisply creased khaki pants and white polo say to her mother, "I am sorry I cried in there I'm just a little girl"...then we all entered the elevator and the same little girl gazed up toward her mom from her wheelchair and said "why am I so different than all my classmates", the mother did not respond so the little girl repeated herself. Her question had such a sweet innocence to the tone it melted our hearts--almost made it impossible for us to pity our own unfortunate news. They exited the elevator before we could hear what the mother's response was...I wanted to turn to the little girl and say the same thing I say to M (as she rows through life being slammed with issue after issue), God made us each so different from our classmates because we are each so special, the world is so much better with variety.

Then I think to myself why is M always "the one"...you would almost think I sat on a hill in Woodstock eating hash brownies and "mushroom" pizza while incubating my little love child...ti's not the case...I'm telling you something big in this world is waiting to grace M.

Happy Birthday

At this moment seventeen years ago placed in my arms was the being that transformed me from "me" to "mom". My sweet Princess A Happy 17th Birthday.

...And although this birthday may be, probably will be, reflected on as one of your lesser (considering all you have and are going through right now) it still gives reason for my heart to fill, to celebrate just them same.

Happy Birthday!

Thanks for making me a mom !!

God is Good

Despite the week's happening all I have to do is walk outside (sneeze) and be thankful...for the streets are lined with blooming pear and dogwood trees, the grass is green (begging to be mowed), Uli sleeps in puddles of warm spring sunshine, my neighbors giving there usual credence to the turning of season by sitting on there front porch in Adirondack chairs sipping Manhattans, neighborhood kids ride (there once hibernating bicycles) up and down the streets...

Despite the week's happening when I am inside I realize I am thankful ...for M's quick witted comments that make me giggle, singing Meatloaf songs with my girls, eating M's culinary creations, watching D break a sweat while practicing her new DDR Xbox game moves, for my chocolate box jigsaw puzzle (we all know I was insane to think I could put that together before spring breaks end) and mostly for Princess A's friends visiting beckoning her smile-- through her pain and discomfort, even with the set back, was screaming in her soul to be freed...

So I say God is good.

Total Exhaustion

I am so exhausted that I have a muscle in my abdomen that is twitching so that I envision Sigourney Weaver to appear in my living room to deliver an alien that must be itching to free itself.

Pure Exhaustion

Princess A: Mom are you tired of rubbing me?

J: No Baby Girl if I would be tired of rubbing you and taking care of my babies when one is sick I wouldn't have become a mom.

...And so Princess A continues to lay in the land of Precocet --per doctors orders-- on the couch for yet another day...and I continue to honor her (in recovery and pure exhaustion) by taking fetal position on the love seat, getting minimal sleep-- hour here, hour there armed with Percocet, eye drops and ointment.

The only difference between Princess A and a naked mole rat is...Princess A has clothes on, but both tunnel through there homes with closed eyes in total darkness.

All the while I softly sing to her I am 16 going on 17...if she isn't upright with her surgically repaired eye by Saturday, her 17th birthday, I will go down in history as the meanest mom for having her "repaired" this week.

Two kids with surgically repaired eyes in 8 months is a test from God of my mothering, nursing, back rubbing, chicken noodle soup serving, medicating on the clock skills.

I just might be passing this test with an A-.

Top Of The Day To You

I have been informed, by my grandmother, that we are to wear ORANGE not green for St. Patty's Day...you see we are of northern Irish heritage, and northern Irish wear orange...so orange it is for Princess A. I however heard on CNN that we should all be wearing white on St. Patty's Day, why I can't remember ( I was having one of those half asleep Saturday mornings on the couch)...so white it is for me.

In a strange turn of weather--snow--we chose to skip the downtown parade. Instead we are in the warmth of our house feasting on cocktail reubens, shamrock sugar cookies and Bailey's. If we get drunk enough we may allow the kids to dye the puppy's hair green...although the odds of us getting drunk is pretty slim.

******

My grandma was funny today when we talked on the phone...she told me Princess A was very pretty, that all my girls were pretty, especially in there Christmas card photo. I thanked her for the compliment (to which I always sum up to recessive genes). I said "grandma you would say that even if they weren't pretty" and she says "oh no I wouldn't"...to which I ask "what would you say" and she replies (while she laughs) "I wouldn't say anything at all".

*****

I should have gone out today I am having a fantastic hair day. I think I am at the grow out point were the hair looks good for about two weeks before it returns to that "are you sure you don't want a hair cut" look.

Now the hubby and I will play Scrabble. Isn't that what you should do after an entire afternoon of AMC's westerns marathon?

Not what you want with your morning coffee

I woke this morning at 5am, due to a combination of PMS insomnia and the King's alarm clock. So I strutted out to the kitchen sat at my computer and decided I would read the Post-Dispatch--my morning ritual.



However I found reading, or even looking at the computer screen disturbing--this is what I came face to face with...

CREEPY MUMMY!

Going To The Wilds

Today I spent a great deal of time making summer vacations plans. This family is headed West-- a good ole' fashion family camping vacation.

I have been reading my "Hiking Yellowstone National Park" book with fever.

Okay, let me make it clear I can camp without an electric box to power the camper--flash lights and lanterns are perfectly acceptable. I can even do the out house-- in Yellowstone language a "pit". But, I need a shower! I am not bathing in a lake, this isn't Survivor, there is no million dollars at stake for sacrifice. So the challenge was to find not only a campground in the park with showers (which from my book informs me I will have to pay for the luxury, it didn't note hot water so that remains the mystery) but also one that opened in early June.

I found it! Canyon Campground. Noted activities-- trails, waterfalls, photography, etc...all things that are important to us on this rugged trip.

Then I read the list of suggested items for day hikes--read like a typical scout list: day pack, water bottle, first-aid kit, survival kit (which basically means granola bars), compass, maps, toilet trowel...I stopped. Read again. T-O-I-L-E-T--T-R-O-W-E-L. Mary Mother of God I am not digging a hole to make a poo deposit!

Later when King Ralph returned from work I read him the list, stating quite emphatically NO TOILET TROWEL. Really come on I told him I can handle a lot of male Neanderthal qualities but digging a shit hole is where I draw the line. Then I think I saw a slight glimmer in his eye as I said the words toilet trowel once more. A glimmer like a dog should always leave his mark everywhere he goes.

So I guess what I have to wonder now is, how exactly will I know if he purchased a "toilet trowel"...what will it look like? Like a garden spade? Like a large serving spoon? Will I accidentally, unaware, pick it up to plant flower bulbs. Or will I unknowingly serve mashed potatoes with it? Will it come engraved with the word "toilet trowel" on the body of the tool?

You know what I think some good ole fashion female "hold-it-in-till-you-get-home" lessons are in order for the King. Don't you agree? It is never to soon to start planning ahead! Should I say planning bottom?

Burrrrrrp!

So there we are eating a family dinner of take out Steak-n-Shake--chili and fries and double steak burgers and Coca~Cola...when all of a sudden M rips out a belch of mammoth proportion...we all turned our heads. Of course being a mom, I said "e-x-c-u-s-e m-e"! To which M replies "I couldn't help it, you know, coke. It does that to me". To which the dad says, "would you do that in front of a boy you were on a date with"? Now M being the quick wit she is says,"how long have I known this boy"?

We tried to hold straight faces but that response made it difficult, laughter rolled across the dinner table.

We then ran through a myriad of options--long time, "you bet I would"...first date, "probably not, unless he was a horrible date and I was looking for a way to rid myself of the guy"......

So there you have it, a real lady--she's my offspring.

It's All In The Dreams

First let me say, weekends seem to be getting shorter as the school year nears end. The last 2 months of the school year always feel like an eternity.

Then I know you are all dying to know, and I am sure you will hear on the radio today (550am or you can listen on-line at FrankOPinion.com) as told by Dan and Ian, that our trivia team was marginally successful Saturday night--marginal means this team did not walk away with the box of Ding Dongs as did the week before team. But, Dan did manage to divulge a correct answer to the entire room while we ourselves scribed the totally WRONG answer on our round sheet.

Now to it's all in the dream...I have been dreaming for a week now strange things, things that don't really seem like they pattern what happened in my day. Last night I dreamt about keys, lots of keys...every other person in my dream willingly gave there keys up but I refused to give my keys up once I found them. I truly believe my strange dreams stem from my uneasiness about A having surgery in two weeks. You would think I would be calm about this stuff-- M having had eye surgery three times and Princess A already once--but I am not! I guess deep inside me there is a certain measure of guilt that A has this visual birth defect, that she has to have surgery over her spring break which includes her 17th birthday. I have to remind myself that in my dream I found my keys, held onto my keys...I can do it in my real life too!

Confession

I made a chocolate cake today--while the girls were at school. I made it while they were at school so I could lick the beaters and bowl without having to share the gooey goodness. Mmmmmm!

Does that make me selfish?

I am letting them eat the finished product.

Dreams

I am not much of a superstitious person, but I do believe on occasion there is something deep rooted in us that comes out through dreams.

So this morning I decided after having two very unusual dreams that I would consult an on-line dream dictionary--dam if those dream definitions didn't pretty much sum it up perfectly; and the two dreams connected (by definition, interpretation).

Superstition? Maybe. A sign? Probably. Telling me to relax. Most definitely!

____________________________

I just walked past the back door--there Uli sleeps on the grass in a puddle of sunshine...she is having a puppy dream...stretched out and deep in sleep her ear flinched, her tail flinched, she relaxes. I doubt she is dreaming of needles and thread but rather of a diamond studded collar and a Waterford drinking bowl.

Kind of, Somewhat, Totally Productive?

Empty dishwasher... CHECK
Load dishwasher...CHECK
Dust (inner and outer) curio cabinet... CHECK
Dust (inner and outer) china cabinet... CHECK
Take trash to curb...CHECK..I remembered
Wash kitchen floor...CHECK
Dust mop wood floors...CHECK
Make bed...CHECK
Launder King Ralph's uniform...CHECK
Clean microwave...CHECK...it's sanitary once again
Force self to run/walk on treadmill...CHECK
Windex back door windows...CHECK...wow that's what the backyard looks like
Clean off desk...DO I HAVE TOO?
De-limb the front and back yard...I'M GETTING TO IT, SOON, DEFINITELY BEFORE THE DESK!

...And I can almost bet someone will ask me, "what did you do today".

Aston Martin Optional

We are attending the high school's Class of 2007 trivia night...which got me thinking...Class of 2007... James Bond...Agent 007. Could it be a category?

I am so NOT a lover of Bond. So here I sit surfing the net filling my mind with useless facts--everything Bond, James Bond.

Here goes...

Did you know there has been 6 different actors to portray Bond? Did you know in the first Bond film "Dr. No" (which was released in 1962) Bond did not drive an Aston Martin, but rather a Sunbeam Alpine? There has been a total of 21 Bond films.

However I do know this, we both--myself and Agent 007--like our martinis shaken not stirred.

I must be losing my mind, I am cramming for trivia night for a category I can only assume will be. And if it isn't...well, I will be a walking book of Bond facts. How impressive is that!

Cook the fruit please...

March and the Midwest mean tornado sirens. So it was no surprise as I left out the door at 830am to retrieve M from school --as sirens blared in the background--for a doctor appointment that I headed out hoping I wouldn't be swept away to Oz.

Swept to Oz we were not; instead swept away in a most unusual timely doctor office fashion to an examination closest. After a chat with the doc, a nurse entered the room with her science kit of mixtures. Before long M's skin was welting up till she almost morphed into a toad like figure.

I believe as the doc recommended M do a science fair project on her newly diagnosed condition she roared in a laughter that resembled a sound only Dr. Frankenstein could produce--we knew then it as time to escape the laboratory and return to middle school.

The condition you ask, what is it, well...Oral Allergy Syndrome. Which means Maddi isn't allergic to the fruits that cause her to stop breathing instead she is having a reaction to cross-reactivity between plant proteins from pollen and fruits.

I am told M can eat, and in fact she has and does, these fruits (that are her enemy) in a cooked form without reaction... strawberry picking season means learning to make jam, apple and peach picking season means baking pies and cobblers, churning out apple sauce. I may have to think about taking up State Fair visits with my creations.

Wow, I may really become "Little Suzy Homemaker" after all.