Keeper of the House Adventures

Teaching Old Dog New Tricks

2012-01-22T12:58:00.000-06:00

For the first three years of our marriage I worked full time, one of those years I even worked a second job. Then for the next seventeen years I stayed home, to raise the girls, to be the perfect step-ford wife. I loved those years! As the college years for the girls were creeping forward going back to work seemed like the necessary thing to do. So I got a part time job. Then the natural evolution was to progress to full-time. This is were we are at, today at least...

Stretched out in his "command central" recliner chair

King Ralph: I need clean underwear.

Keeper: So do I.

KR: I need my new pants ironed, they're all balled up in that bag.

Keeper: I need my shirt ironed.

15 minutes later as King Ralph mulls around in the kitchen

KR: Hey, why don't you make us tuna salad for lunch.

Keeper: I'll do that after I secure you clean undies and a pressed pants. (said in a sassy tone)

Okay so here is the point where I lost a gasket. Seriously why do men think they are helpless? If women find they have no more fresh panties in their drawer they do their own laundry. Men. Not a chance. I think they would do a repeat wear of crap stained undies before they attempted to work the washer. Iron? What's an iron? Lunch? Starving is certainly an option.

Then King Ralph says, how 'bout if I throw a needed hair cut in while I am at it.

Eeeeerrrrr!

I think it's time to teach the old dog a few new tricks.

Random Chatter

2012-01-16T17:39:00.000-06:00

This isn't going to be one of those posts where there is not a purpose to the message, a story so to tell. This is going to be one of those posts where I just chatter like I do when I am with my girlfriends at a happy hour.

******************

Last week we attended our 93 year old neighbors funeral. He was a WWII vet who fought in the Battle of the Bulge. The veterans organization had a short ceremony to honor his service. It was very touching. I certainly hope someday this country honors more recent veterans with same degree of respect and gratitude.

When we finally made our way to the casket to offer our condolences to his bride of 70 years, she looked at Princess A & M and told them that Karl enjoyed watching and waiting for them all to return everyday from school and work. It gave him purpose in his day to stand at the screen door on weekdays at 3pm to make sure the girls made it home safely and without harm. She said if one of the girls didn't make it back at their usual time he went looking for her to share his concern. Funny thing is we never knew this, just thought he enjoyed being a "Mr. Kravitz", when all the while he just watching over our girls. We'll miss our neighbor sitting on the porch with his oxygen tank waiting and watching for our girls, chatting with them about Germany and where they go to college and when they'll graduate. The open door, it will die slowly as everyday since he was buried the front door is opened to the screen door as if he is still there, watching. Who knew when I waved to him a week ago today standing there that it would be the last time.

Yesterday I opened the back door to let Uli out in the yard, the smell of the cold crisp winter air smelt so delicious. Is it funny how winter air smells so good yet we can't wait for winter pass? Today the cold air broke and spring temperatures loom...only to beckon an inch of snow fall tomorrow. Mother Nature has to be smoking crack these days.

Princess A has taken to making gourmet cupcakes. I will attest they are double yum!

Tonight she has a new recipe she is creating. Hold tight I will tempt your taste buds with more tantalizing pictures.

Tomorrow that blasted alarm clock is going to buzz at 540am and I will regretfully awake to it and drag myself out in the world for a paycheck. How I do so a three-day weekend!

REALITY BITES

2012-01-02T22:34:00.000-06:00

It has happened every year for the last five years since I returned to the working world--reality bites. As much as I love working, falling back in the habits of stay-at-home are so easy when given two weeks off the job. And then I fall back in love with wearing sweats and no make-up...when I go out in the world hiding under my St. Louis Cardinal ball cap...scouring the internet for new recipes, and then actually creating them. It is fun to stay up late watching old movies, rising early and then taking a nap mid-day--because I can. It was fun hanging with friends and mixing up cocktails when finally everyone's schedules mesh. It is fun to meet up with girlfriends on a weekday for a lunch date that lasts for hours.

But. Reality Bites.

When my holiday vacation began it was unseasonably warm. Today's bitter bite of winter will welcome me into the second semester of school before the sun has a chance to rise. I am so not ready for chattering teeth and biting wind chill.

But. Like I said--reality bites. Yep, I just set my alarm for 530am. Hi-ho-hi-ho it's back to work I go.

To that I say--Good Night.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

2011-12-31T14:01:00.000-06:00

'CAUSE YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO SING, BUT NEVER TOOK THE TIME TO LEARN THE WORDS TO THE SONG

I AM PROVIDING YOU WITH A SONG SHEET

JUST WHEN YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY THINK THE SONG IS OVER...

ANOTHER VERSE

Should old acquaintance be forgot,

and never brought to mind ?

Should old acquaintance be forgot,

and old lang syne ?

CHORUS:

For auld lang syne, my dear,

for auld lang syne,

we'll take a cup of kindness yet,

for auld lang syne.

And surely you’ll buy your pintcup !

and surely I’ll buy mine !

And we'll take a cup o’ kindness yet,

for auld lang syne.

CHORUS

We two have run about theslopes,

and picked the daisies fine ;

But we’ve wandered many a weary foot,

since auld lang syne.

CHORUS

We two have paddled in thestream,

from morning sun till dine^† ;

But seas between us broad have roared

since auld lang syne.

CHORUS

And there’s a hand my trustyfriend !

And give us a hand o’ thine !

And we’ll take a right good-will draught,

for auld lang syne.

CHORUS

MAY YOUR NEW YEAR BE FILLED WITH HEALTH, WEALTH AND HAPPINESS!
I WILL SETTLE FOR HEALTH AND HAPPINESS
AND WILL CONTINUE TO BUY AN OCCASIONAL LOTTERY TICKET

TO TWENTY-TWELVE....

Today: Four Birds A Calling

2011-12-28T23:21:00.001-06:00

While most folks think the Twelve Days of Christmas are the days leading up to Christmas, they are mistaken. The twelve days start on Christmas Day and ends on the eve of Epiphany, January 5. Plus the history of the song is rather interesting.

I rather enjoyed this little spin on the twelve days...maybe more so because my time off work has afforded me the pleasure of late night TV watching.

I was kind of thinking maybe they should have had Danny Bonaduce as the Partridge in the pear tree. I think the dude could have a used a bit of work these days. Nothing against Shirley Partridge, I mean Jones.

Night Time Conversation With The King

2011-12-27T23:16:00.001-06:00

King Ralph: I'm gonna need clean laundry tomorrow

Me: like underwear

KR: yes

Me: you might have to wear your Superman underwear you got for Christmas

KR: I don't know where I am suppose to wear those

Me: you just wear them...anywhere

KR: can you imagine if something happened to me and I was found in those underwear

KR: being found in super hero underwear is something for reality TV

inserting laugh track

I am seriously considering not doing laundry just to see if King Ralph goes for the super hero panties as his pair of "desperates." We all have'm, that pair of underwear you are forced to succumb to when the lazy part of you skips on the laundry.

Only time will tell...if he longs to be Superman.

Remembering Christmas 2011

2011-12-26T21:02:00.000-06:00

I have taken this day to do nothing else than rest. I am perfectly molded into the cushion of the couch, while King Ralph is perfectly molded into the leather recliner--we have no plans to be motivated. Laziness has its place today and it feels oh-so-good!

The last several days have been great. King Ralph's nephew arrived at our house on the 23rd from New Jersey. He is an Air Force officer (pilot) stationed at McGuire AFB --it has been ten years since he has celebrated the holidays with the family. The girls miss their cousins terribly. It warmed my heart to see the three girls making Charley laugh and the four of them all laughing together. On Christmas Eve we celebrated the birth of Christ at church...our wise men have been moving around the house all month and finally made there way to the manger scene.

Then we came home were King Ralph's sister and her family joined us for a feast of appetizers, spiked nog and a night of games. King Ralph in usual Scattergories fashion tried to pass off an "s" word (Sucrets) as a "c" word. Fail! We laughed and loved, escalating our Christmas spirit. Then we all headed to bed to slumber waiting for Santa Claus to do his magic. And he did. Under the tree he placed three gifts for each of the girls. At our house we practice: Jesus got three gifts upon his birth so that is what the girls get--three gifts. Good enough for Jesus. Good enough for the girls. Stockings were stuffed to the brim as well. Then the girls tip-toed to the living room and placed gifts for each other, King Ralph and I under the tree.

We spent Christmas Day celebrating at King Ralph's cousin's house. Where after ten years of Christmas cousin pictures with Charley's name written on a piece of paper--the real thing was added. First cousins together like they should be.

where they got silly

and sillier

Minus one great grand-kid we snapped pictures to celebrate their togetherness

Then for all the 21 and over crowd we toasted the late and great Gee-Gee with root beer float shots. Okay so her idea of a root beer float (which she served up to the great-grand kids every time they visited her house) was vanilla ice cream and Vess root beer, while ours was vanilla vodka and root beer...we raised our glasses, just like we did at her memorial dinner, "to Gee-Gee" and slung the shot back.

What is Christmas without playing games? Cards it was!

Penny a chip.

My name is D and I am a chip hog.

At ten o'clock King Ralph and the girls drug my Maple Butter Kiss

Ingredients

Ice
1 1/2 oz. vodka
1/2 oz. DeKuyper Buttershots liqueur or butterscotch schnapps
1/4 oz. real maple syrup
1 oz. half-and-half
Fresh-ground nutmeg

Directions

Pour liquid ingredients into a cocktail shaker filled with ice. Shake vigorously. Strain into a martini glass and top with fresh-ground nutmeg.

and Chocolate Vanilla martini tail to the car....

No doubt we had a very merry day! I hope you did too.

A Very Merry 2011 Charley Is Home Christmas

2011-12-24T23:41:00.000-06:00

It has been ten years since my Air Force captain nephew has been able to spend Christmas with us. We are busy being merry, eating, drinking, laughing, loving and celebrating everything Christmas with New Jersey's most eligible bachelor. Pardon the brief intermission, I'll be back soon after finish celebrating the birth of Christ and hanging with family. As dysfunctional as we may, might be...we laugh and love much!

So I leave you with a song in honor of my nephew's homecoming:

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Where are you Christmas, Why Can't I Find You

2011-12-22T10:03:00.000-06:00

There were certain things that I banked on to really bolster my Christmas spirit: children asking me for weeks on end if I believed in Santa (which, for the record, I do!), working on the adopt-a-family program ( seeing the gratitude and humbleness in the faces of the receivers filled the heart with the meaning of advent), holiday art work lining hallways (there is just something about a reindeer built of construction paper cut outs with antlers made of tiny paint hand prints of a Kindergarten child), holiday classroom parties and the reindeer relay. This year my spirit register is a little low to say the least. I don't know if it would be fair to blame it on middle school attitudes that visit the chairs next to my desk--it just might be one of those years, a phase.

I had to look around work in which I managed to find a few things, although different from before, that were there offering up the spirit that comes with my "new world."...

It seems my boss got a Christmas outfit promotion since last year. I think he might have liked the Santa suit as much as he liked the elf. He wore the Santa pants all day long. I uncovered this costume in the office closest during the transition. Like me it too got to stay in the building. A little, a lot, of Febreeze later and it was wear ready.

(I believe this photo should be titled "you aren't Santa, you're a fake, you smell like beef and cheese")

This is where I got a small injection of Christmas spirit. It came on the last day before holiday break. The kids of the performing art classes show casing there holiday concert pieces--orchestra, choir, show choir and band.

Today I have to reach down inside in me to pull my spirit up and get down to business. Heck, I still have a few gifts to get and some grocery shopping to do. Oh and one more batch of cookies to crank out.

Then I can rest, on this eve of Christmas Eve.

Middle Sister

2011-12-17T04:00:00.000-06:00

On this day nineteen years ago you filled our hearts with love and made us smile.

You have kept on making us smile all through the years and our hearts are continually filled with love.

Happy Birthday "Middle Sister!"

Christmas Shopping With the Spousal Unit

2011-12-10T17:23:00.001-06:00

After we made a purchase at Nordstrom in the shoe department I stood there and gazed around. This is the conversation that I had with King Ralph...

Me: I swear when I die I want heaven to be the Nordstrom's shoe department

KR: This is hell.

ME: The shoes are delicious! It is heavenly here.

KR: Really?

Me: Yes, I'm serious.

KR: Well if I woke up and the shoe department was heaven then I would be in hell.

This my friends is why I usually go to the mall without my better half, and why he goes to Lowe's and Home Depot without me.

Why Do I Have to Title This?

2011-12-02T19:32:00.001-06:00

You know the worst time to blog is when you have been sipping at the white wine bottle...which may be exactly why I shouldn't be blogging...cause gosh darn I just don't blog as I use too, for many reasons, maybe because the things that are worth the laughs I can't really share publicly and the things I can....

Tonight was a night that I came home from work and just needed to see what was hiding downstairs in the neglected wine fridge. Ooooo some fabulous Two Vines Vineyard 10 white wine was chilling and calling out my name. "Joooooo-dee" it was calling. And I answered. No arm twisting needed!

As I sipped away, and as I sip away now I get a text on my phone from an unknown number

Mystery Text-or: Hows yur day going

Me: who is this

MT: Who is this?

Me: You text me to ask how my day was going

MT: Is this Tom

Me: Tom who? This is Jodi

MT: Im sorry I hve the wrong number

Me: No problem...and by the way I had a shitty day.

MT: Im so sorry my day isnt going so great either

MT: How long hve u had this numbr

Me: 10 yrs

Then the fun ended. Or my opportunity to unload on a complete stranger.

This my friends is maybe the reason I haven't been blogging much.

2011-11-25T04:00:00.000-06:00

What made you laugh yesterday? You know something did because no one can be with their family all day and not have a good laugh.

2011-11-24T07:28:00.001-06:00

Many things in our humble abode has taken change--from a new job to college experience; we have much to be grateful for. While my pre-Thanksgiving festivities have changed--no more watching elementary children dressed in their art crafted Pilgrim hats and Indian feather head dresses, feasting on apple slices and popcorn in a recreation of the first Thanksgiving meal ...instead my pre-Thanksgiving festivities are focused on middle school mayhem. And that my friends, leads me to be ever-so-grateful for the monkey business my girls sometimes create or did create all those years ago, plus makes getting together with my BWFs full of more laughs and good conversation.

While I could create my typical and proverbial list of thanks I will just say this...one and two on the list never change, remaining steadfast in this order:

1. God

2. Family

You see my cornucopia runneth over, we are a blessed family that loves. So I see no need to list because in the end I am grateful for everything that touches my life in a positive way.

To celebrate our abundance of thanks my twenty guest and I will be toasting the day with this cocktail:

Pumpkin Pie Martini

ice cubes

2 ounces (1/4 cup) vanilla vodka

2 ounces (1/4 cup) creme de cacao

1/4 cup heavy cream

1 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice

whipped cream, for garnish

Fill shaker half way with ice. Add vanilla vodka, creme de cacao and pumpkin pie spice and shake.

Dip rims of two martini glasses in whipped cream. Strain the cocktail into glasses.

I will part here, do a few sit up and prepare to take in the estimated 3500-4500 calories this day's grand feast offers.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

My Post-it Note

2011-11-12T18:15:00.001-06:00

I wrote a Post-it Note to myself today.

I don't know why I have been at a writing halt...maybe I don't think my life is so interesting after all. Maybe it is the transition I made this year with my career; learning, adjusting, accepting? Maybe it is the transition of our abode down by one? Whatever is the cause I have made that Post-it Note to myself as a reminder to dig inside myself to start to chronicle life once again.

This plan was foiled. Literally!

2011-10-20T05:38:00.000-05:00

One of the great things about my boss is that he doesn't mind, uhm, what we office gals consider 40th birthday decorations. And, we don't mind taking three hours after work to decorate.

Of course I was the master mind behind this masterpiece--with the help of two other serious accomplices and four other hands who dropped by to assist for a bit...and please don't refer to it as a mess, it is a masterpiece!

And so I present to you the assistant principal's office:

The next day, 650am, he opens his door, "OMG who did this?" "this is pretty cool!"

And he was all smiles. See.

It days like this that make me love my job even more!

Oh, his wife thought it was hilarious and so did his mom and dad.

Remembering, Reflecting on 9-11

2011-09-11T20:34:00.000-05:00

He was just two-years old. The little boy darted between the flag poles. In his naive state of being, unaware of the impact that the memorial was playing on the hearts of the Americans who stood somberly admiring the awesome sight. He was oblivious to the venerability that we Americans all now feel since that fateful morning on the eleventh of September, 2001. I watched him, admiring his innocence, wishing the world could be as it was for my daughters when they were two-years old. A country that didn't feel on pins and needles. A country full of prosper and wealth.

Oh how times have changed.

Where were you when you heard? What were you doing? A familiar question our generation poses as what was our parents JKF moment. King Ralph and I were on a cruise celebrating our fifteenth wedding anniversary. We woke in our pitch dark inside cabin, reached for the TV controller to simulate some light, only to see what must have been a scene from a action flick...then it clicked as Matt Lauer and Katie Couric began commentating. This was all for real. Our country had been attacked for absolutely no reason. Then as we sat in disbelief the second plane hit the second tower. For three days we sailed around the tip of Cuba, as we were not allowed to dock at port. No one complained. Even when the cruise line gave us all an hour of free pool side cocktails, we knew we were better off in the middle of a vast pool of water than on any land. The evening of the eleventh they held a vigil. Some of the ship's guests teetered on edge wondering if their loved one was alive, injured or safe. A feeling of total helplessness. King Ralph and I still recall an older gentleman getting up on stage singing the national anthem. He sang like tomatoes and bread slices should be tossing him off stage. But it is funny how in a moment like that, that your patriotism takes hold and you feel as though Pavarotti is paying tribute to our great country. As we looked around, tears rolled from eyes, followed by a standing ovation. Symbolic that not even a bad rendition of our country anthem could bring us to criticize. Instead we all felt as one nation under God, indivisible with liberty and justice for all.

Today, ten years later, we stood on a hill in the middle of our "central park", Forest Park, that is known for it's winter sledding fun. But on this day it engulfed flags symbolizing the memory of every person whose life was taken to soon. I stood there reading the flag poles marked with a photo and brief bio feeling my tears brew. Asking "why?"

Why?

A question we will never really have a true defined answer to.

When I rest my head on my pillow tonight I'll have the same pride I have always had: proud to be an American!

"College has changed me"

2011-09-05T22:32:00.001-05:00

I heard her say it. She said it more than once: "college has changed me". She was referencing her ability to keep her room clean...

I am guessing it was statement directed only to her dorm room...to impress a room mate? Cause by the looks of her bedroom at home she fell back into her old habits awful quickly.

So good that she is able to be herself in the company of those who love her--bad messy habit and all--for the weekend.

She's back at MSU and I am missing her again, already.

Happy 37th Birthday Filipo Head

2011-08-28T20:18:00.002-05:00

Way back in 1973 a group of teenage boys thought it would be fun to get stoned. They thought it funnier to make an 8mm movie of themselves getting stoned. Why I do not know?! Stupidity? Then years later post it on YouTube.

Why do I tell you this?

I tell you this because this is how Filipo Head came to be.

Filipo was kicked around, used as a ball for wiffle ball...he was generally abused by a future rock star and a popular local radio personality/teenage stoners of the 70's.

Filipo is the coolest Styrofoam head ever to live. He hangs with famous people, like Tim Reynolds of The Dave Matthews Band. Filipo takes stage with Tim Reynolds's band TR3. Filipo is so cool he has his own Facebook page.

Since the hurricane was hitting the East Coast, Filipo decided he should celebrate his birthday in the Midwest (where the weather was more pleasant and safe).

For his birthday he floated on a raft in the pool

Ejoyed an adult beverage while attempting to tan a bit...without much success.

He took a ride on the Harley

And enjoyed some cookie cake.

You know for a Styrofoam head Filipo had a pretty damn good day...and no one abused him. Which for Filipo is an awfully good day!

Top Ten Reasons We Will Miss M

2011-08-20T13:29:00.000-05:00

TOP TEN REASONS TO MISS M NOW THAT SHE IS AWAY AT COLLEGE

10.Her bedroom will be clean
9. Her bathroom will be clean
8. No more guinea pig sized hair ball in her shower to fight off
7. The dishwasher chore is on a two person rotation
6. We can drive her car when ever we want
5. We won't trip over her shoe-S all over the house
4. My hairspray is less likely to disappear from my bathroom
3. One less kid to be my grocery bitch
2. No more witty come backs to King Ralph's nonsensical talks
1. I won't be able to squeeze her cheeks and give her 10 kisses at a time each night

We are super excited for you M, to have this opportunity to grow and learn. Remember, make yourself proud before you make us proud. Go Bears! XOXO

(Best college move in day sighting: man brought kid to college packed in a convertible Corvette. Unpacked so fast there was no time to snap that priceless picture to share.)

Where In The World Is Keeper?

2011-08-15T21:50:00.001-05:00

Where is Keeper these days?

A. Saving her daughters from wrangling alligators

B. Saving A and M from wrastling the alligator

C. Off on a wild alligator ride

Truth is the alligator seems almost tame to the long hours that my co-workers and I have been pulling to get our new digs up and running.

School starts tomorrow for D and I. She, a junior and I...well it's like I am a freshman all over again. I'm excited!

So excuse me if I take a few blog breaks, I be off getting my feet wet, so to speak.

Big Fat Gypsy Vacation Takes a Beach Break

2011-08-05T19:58:00.001-05:00

I returned from this summer's vacation feeling a bit out of shape. There is nothing I love more than getting my exercise on during a three week vacation. But like I said already, we had a week to work with, and made the best of it.

So after doing a little caving we headed to the beach. We had camped here 14 years ago, and found it had grown and improved greatly. It is a pricey place to camp. For a week of no interruption/obligation family time we didn't fret. It was worth it!

We played some Frisbee

Wednesday morning we experienced a horribly, scary thunderstorm. On Tuesday evening as we walked along the beach, watching little boys crabbing with their dads...watching the lightening crack down at a distance over the Gulf was an awesome sight. Feeling the lightening crack over the camper, turning the bunk ends a glow of red and orange--CREEPY! SPOOKY! HEART STOPPING! But By Thursday the sun was out in all day force, not small doses that you had to grab quicker than a sandwich from a gas station.

Then we had some good old fashion beach fun. We people watched. Made careful note:just because they make it in your size does not mean you should wear it. The girls got silly.

We did a little bit of boogie boarding

We sipped a couple of bucket drinks (cause when your daughter is 21 you can do that)

We read.

D took a stab at some crabbing of her own...the crab would have none of that.

relaxed

Relaxing can be dangerous if you're the only man in the family

He longs to be the Alpha male, but he is just "our Beta."

The gypsy vacation continued....

Our Big Fat Gypsy Vacation Goes to Kentucky

2011-08-01T06:54:00.000-05:00

(insert Yogi voice) Hey BooBoo where is the pic-a-nic basket? I am a pic-a-nic stealing bear.

If camping with Yogi Bear was on my (our) bucket list, well then, I (we) can check that off the list.

I (we) are not much for commercial campgrounds, but with Princess A only be granted one week of the two weeks vacation she requested...we revamped our entire vacation plan to accommodate a one week trip. I can't even remember the last time we took a one week vacation. This is kind of cramping our camping lifestyle. King Ralph reminded me that we said last summer how much easier getting away was going to be when marching band no longer consumed our summers. HA! This year it seems harder minus marching band. When kids grow up, and you want to spend time with them, you do what you have to do. So we ended up at Jellystone Campground. The Avery's and Yogi.

Oh, and if there were any doubt to Yogi's gender...he's a boy bear alright. A boy bear who could sure use more than a hat, a shirt collar and a bow tie. BooBoo get this bear some trousers!

Why don't we like commercial campgrounds? One, they seem to be over crowded. And Jellystone was! Two, because they seem more like-- they paved paradise , and put up a parking lot. We choose Jellystone because of the oppressive Midwestern heat that is swallowing up that neck of the country. We needed an electric site for some refreshing A/C! We took a pass through the national park campground-- aaaaahhhhhh! King Ralph said, what we were all thinking: nice. By the number of campers in the park, four, the rest of the camping families were thinking what we were--electric for the A/C. Don't get me wrong, for a commercial campground Jellystone is very nice. It had a nice crystal clear pool (that thanks to the 100* weather felt like a bathtub) and a water slide (that felt like a bathtub), playgrounds, mini-golf...and hayrides, complete with Yogi and Cindy. Being a costumed fictional character during a heat wave is a job for a sucker. I chose to stay the distance from Yogi for fear he smelled like a sewer. The showers in the park sucked. I either had a stall that had a power washer feeling or a stall that felt like a pee stream...I mean trickle.

We came to Cave City for one reason, Mammoth Cave National Park.

In our Griswoldesque quest to visit all bazillion national parks, we chose Mammoth for its proximity to our home base. Glad we did. It is an awesome sight...and a cool retreat from the oppressive heat outside. We did two cave tours: History Tour (were the guide was less than impressive) and the Grand Avenue Tour (Ranger Rick Thomas was a FANTASTIC guide!). On the History Tour going through Fat Man's Misery

and hearing the girls ask King Ralph to stand by the sign for a picture, his reply "I am not standing next to anything that says fat man" was worth it. Just for the laugh.

Oh, we also referred to this tour as the tour of stupid questions. Our favorite: who is the current owner of the cave? I felt sorry that the guide even had to bother answering that one. Grand Avenue was worth the tour. Our guide added to the greatness of the tour. He was full of knowledge and stories about the cave, with a sprinkling of humor. Which in my opinion makes a guide, never losing the interest of his group. We also called this tour the tour-of-the-family-in-front-of-us-who-took-group-pictures-every-ten-steps and the tour of why-would-you-people-wear-flip-flops. On this tour just when I was getting my exercise on and working the soles of my hiking shoes...we had a group break. There is some good steeps inclines and declines on Grand Avenue. With the breaks came good stories from Ranger Rick. We did get to see a bat on the four and a half hour tour. If you come to see Mammoth Cave and have time for only one tour, I would recommend this tour. I also recommend coming when there isn't a heat alert so you can camp inside the park and enjoy the hiking trails.

Before packing up and heading on to territory before traveled...the girls (no matter their age, and always with a little (lot) of giggles doing this) continued the quest they started fourteen years earlier

OH YA JUNIOR RANGERS OF THE MAMMOTH CAVE!

Too Dam Hot in STL to Blog Much

2011-07-12T21:59:00.000-05:00

So, since it is a blazing 100* (feels like 112*) in the shade...

I thought a little entertainment was in order. A slip back in time. A mini fashion show compliments of Princess A & Princess M (I keep forgetting I can officially call her that, and it isn't self proclaimed like you-know-who)... a throw back to the swimwear of the early 1990s. (Only I would have these beauties tucked away in the back of my summer drawer.)

I think I must have been watching a few to many Gilligan's Island reruns on TV Land...there is the Mary Anne two piece and then the sultry Ginger suit with its french cut leg. Oooolala. Need I mention that to wear these beauties I weighed 114 pounds. Now that makes thinking of the 90s somewhat painful, sigh.

The great thing about the "Ginger" suit is, it could double as a beauty pageant suit, for the swimwear category. (In the interview category this contestant's answer to everything would be: "world peace")

Man-oh-man did I have fashion sense in the 90s or what!? So if you're hungry for some vintage beachwear, you know where to find me.

Just Saying...

2011-07-07T20:49:00.000-05:00

We may be ordering Chinese food often when ... the cute little Chinese girl says to us (insert Chinese accent)-- "Ooooooo, you got differ-rent or-a-der."

I suppose we should stick with an order of chicken egg foo young from now on. Messing with your Chinese food supplier probably isn't a good thing.

On a side note I believe word hit the squirrelhood that I was petitioning the State of Missouri for the first ever suburban squirrel hunt. Or maybe it's that squirrel guillotine contraption that the neighbor up the street created around his tree's trunk was just the threat the squirrels needed. (I must get a picture to share.) Whatever the reason or cause....

Looky-looky. I have, finally, gerber daisy blooms.

This makes me pretty darn happy!

Defining the Word: Friend

2011-06-28T21:39:00.003-05:00

Friendology

Study of friends and the power of friendships. The bond shared between two or more people. The understanding of friendship and how it is used in today's society. The worlds understanding of true friendship.

These girls have been pals, some besties, since their middle school years. They study together, they laugh together, they talk extremely loud together-- friends! They have years before they have to think about separation. And, when they do, I bet it'll be hard.

This group of best pals, well, they're a whole different story. They are about to separate. Spread wings. While most of this close knit group is headed to Mizzou together, a few others are the brave souls, ready to branch off on their own for new adventures. Make new friends. Which sounds easy, but is it? M is one of those brave souls. M and her bestie (the other beauty clad in yellow) have been "sisters of the heart" for so long I can't see one without the other. They have lived and laughed together...even tested their parents' patience a time or two, together. Growing up together as friends.

While I sit outside enjoying the cool summer air (being eaten by mosquitoes) I can't help but think about how I too, like M, have to be that brave soul, leaving behind my school friends to spread my wings. I am totally excited about my new venture at work. I feel fortunate to get the opportunity. I spend my evenings building skill and knowledge...still old friends are hard to leave. Old friends know you, you trust them, they get you, you aren't afraid to ask them questions. You know how to have after work fun together--Christmas karaoke and game night (what happens at game night stays at game night). How to make each other laugh-- at work and after work. The girl friend thing! We've all shed our separation tears, boxed up the old place, unboxed at the new place... I've cleaned the old place with new faces, to make the old feel fresh and new. The old place is my new place. Still. Somehow, there is a comfort in the "old". Knowing how to finish each others sentences. How to complete a task without having to ask for assistance. There's a forgotten unfamiliar to starting over. I guess because the "old" had it: friendology!

So what do girls do when they are about to embark on new adventures? They spend as much time as they can with the old friends, so never to forget that feeling of comfortable. The trucks are rolling, walls are coming down and going up, but through all the boxes and all the construction we all know...friends never stop being friends.

So girls, here's to us all. Here's to our new beginnings and our memories of the days. Here's to always being friends!

Turning Into A Bear

2011-06-23T20:55:00.000-05:00

I don't know if I can actually constitute myself and King Ralph as being held hostage, since we signed up and attended on our own free will...well it was kind of required: SOAR, aka MSU Orientation. However folks, when you are told to attend informational meetings from 10am-8pm... let's just call it what it it felt like--hostage!

Hostage in an ice box. Seriously I think tuition could be reduced by 15% if they cranked the A/C up in the theater alone. I had arms and legs that looked like a chicken just plucked, and my feet were a couple of blocks of ice. Hey while we are talking feet... once you have spent 4 hours listening to topic talks about homesickness, student alcohol consumption and smoking pot in your dorm room by filtering it through a toilet paper tube stuffed with dryer sheets... well friends you start staring at the floor. Then you notice people's feet, like the gal next to me who had two full toes and three half toes. And, the two full toes where exactly the ones she needed to wear flip flops successfully. Then you find yourself, at least King Ralph and I did, wanting to stand up and scream when the fifth person asked the same dumb question about how the Health Center functioned. Listening ears people, turn them on. King Ralph was losing it by 6pm, when he started showing me all the tools that make up his Swiss Army knife. (For the record the tooth pick scares me.) Unlike the mother who sat next to me, and had an hour nap with her bobble head...I stayed awake for every minute of every topic--boring and informational.

By 830pm we finally made it to the Holiday Inn, where I promptly redeemed by free drink coupon for a glass of white wine, paired with a basket of complimentary popcorn and my bag of trail mix. Aaaaaahhhh! Freedom. The joy of not listening to yet another college topic talk. Then we caught a few z's and did it all again the next day. Donated a few green backs to the bookstore for some Bear wear and hit the road home.

You know what? It was so worth every minute of information overload to see M excited about the choice she made to grow and develope!

To that we all say: Go Bears!

Or.

Maybe we say: Missouri State University here's my wallet, take it all.

Hey Keeper Where Ya Been?

2011-06-20T22:07:00.000-05:00

Keeper: Hey Jodi where ya been?

J: Inside a cardboard box!

Keeper: Really, a cardboard box?

J: Well not actually, I am speaking in figurative term. You see since May I have been packing boxes for the move from school.

Keeper: School? Move?

J: Ya, you know the elementary school has closed up shop and is moving to a new location, with a new name. The new school is absolutely bee-u-tee-ful!

Keeper: So you are going to the new school?

J: Nope I am staying at the old homestead, as it transitions back to into a middle school, after twenty plus years. I am taking a new position.

Keeper: Really, how exciting!

J: I am excited. I have been training, lots. Training so much my new books I bought to read this summer are on the shelf collecting dust.

Keeper: Maybe you can read them on vacation?

J: Yes! That sounds like a plan. Reading under a canopy of trees and singing birds.

Keeper: You taking the house on wheels for that vacation?

J: Yep. King Ralph thought for a minute about not doing so, then the girls said to him "Dad, noooooo! being in the camper is what makes us a family."

Keeper: Wow, that is something.

J: I know, it is like when we go in the camper and take squat in the middle of nature so remote that there is no cell service, no lap tops, no TV.... We connect, like the family that we are. We laugh. We play board games. We play cards. We hike and hike and hike. I am about as excited for vacation as I am for my job.

Keeper: Not to change the subject but what about the BWFs?

J: Oh I know, we cried when our placements were announced. It is hard leaving old friends.

Keeper: You can make new friends.

J: I know...make new friends but keep the old.

Keeper: You're getting all old school Girl Scout leader on me there.

J: LOL

J: Hey I don't mean to end our little conversation, but I have to smell cardboard and packing tape again tomorrow morning...and Friday...and at the old homestead, turned new homestead on Monday. A girl needs her rest to lift boxes and ripe packing tape.

Keeper: Night. Hey, don't stay away so long.

J: Ok. I promise!

(If I never smell the scent of fresh cardboard boxes or hear the sound of packing tape ripping I will live happily ever after!)

FINALLY!

2011-05-31T11:45:00.001-05:00

Some of us will be taking a little break.

Stilts

2011-05-27T07:05:00.001-05:00

I tried M's graduation shoes on, the shoes she picked out herself. As King Ralph and I stood in her room staring at the shoes before, I, tried them on, all we could say was "these are stilts!" You can't even begin to imagine the difficulty it took for me to try to stand in the shoes, let alone think about taking a step. King Ralph helped me keep my balance as I teetered.

When I look back at M's last 18 years, life has really been about walking on stilts, teetering through life. If we aren't all walking on stilts then I'd venture to say we aren't really living, navigating and trying to keep balance as we all grow--parent and child. When I take the time to allow for reflection of every little stumble, trip, and wobble in M's growing year; its has been totally worth it.

Although I couldn't, wouldn't even attempt to try to balance in the shoes M wore last night...the shoes she wears most of the time...somehow she just knows how to work'em. Keeping balance. Just as she does in life.

So I say to my M, who was once the cutest little muncher and is now a gorgeous tall young lady... keep wearing those stilts through life and work'em!

Just remember: if you trip or fall while at Missouri State University, just like when you were little, we're here to help you stand up and catch your balance again.

Thank a Teacher

2011-05-20T10:45:00.002-05:00

I SENT:
Ladies-
Often high school teachers are looked past by parents; appreciation goes unrecognized.

With that said I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for instilling, molding in Maddi passion and drive, creating for her-- a future goal. Favorite teachers have a special place forever in the heart of a student. Tomorrow as Maddi walks out the doors of LHS moving on with her future, please know you two are that mark on Maddi’s heart.

Thank you for adding to her successses at Lindbergh!

REPLIES:
Thank you for the sweet words. You have raised a lovely young woman who exemplifies what high school should be about. She enjoyed her experience, she tried hard, she was seriously involved...what more could you want. I have loved getting to know and work with Maddi over the last three years. She is a special young lady and will miss her bubbly personality.

Congratulations!

AND

Maddi was one of the most wonderful students I have had. She is so bright and has such a caring heart. I can't believe the amount of activities DECA accomplished this year under her leadership! I know she will be successful in her endeavors. I will miss her.

Melancholy, All Because of Monday's Last Lunch

2011-05-16T09:04:00.002-05:00

I did it. I really did it. I just packed M’s last lunch for school on a Monday. Sure there is still Tuesday and Wednesday to go; but before I know it the school years will having me packing one lone lunch in a brown sack to send out the door. Sniffle, sniffle.

There will be a bitter sweetness in packing that very last lunch Wednesday morning. For years I have been schlepping around the kitchen early in the morning grabbing this and grabbing that to toss into sacks…well back in the days it was lunch boxes; when they were still cool to carry. Today however I packed a special bakery treat with a special note written on the label. Corny maybe, but that’s me and my girls like that. The world needs more corny. I often oblige and the girls love me for it!

Last lunches make the mind roll back into reflection mode, which is exactly where I aim to go. Bear with me if get a little kumbaya and melancholy.

M, so affectionately nicknamed Maddi Phyl by Princess A. Princess A’s sweet squeaky three year old voice singing out to her new infant sister and playmate--“no-no Maddi Phyl” and it stuck. By fourth grade Mrs. Kunze had nick named you Madders and that stuck too. My little Punky Brewster you came into this world with more hair than I have ever known your father to have. Your skin as red as a hot chili pepper. Your little eyes sunk to your nose. You were then and are still loveable. You could then and still can make me madder than hell, madder than any of your sisters. You let me kiss your cheeks a hundred times to heal your heart when needed and you let my sternness (and daddy’s) teach you life’s tough lessons. Even if it meant serving some time in, what did your friends call your long grounding? Ah, yes, “jail”. At three losing your glasses in a toy box and your wee person response to where the glasses were of, “I dunno” was minor in comparison to the teen shenanigans you tried to pull—but never got away with. Aaaahhh, growing up. Never Easy.

Why did my M need her heart healed with kisses? There were your three eye surgeries. Your last crushed me more than you ever knew and no matter how many times I told you that you God was merely perfecting you, it never helped. You needed that space to be alone to work through it during those formidable teen years, to realize you have the Gift of Mercy. Nothing, nothing I tell you was more heart wrenching then strapping that scoliosis back brace on you and sending you out the door into the world of hallways filled with judgment wearing that dam plastic beast. I smiled at you, encouraged you, hugged and kissed you and then walked to a room to cry my mother’s tears. So when you left for high school on that first day and we struck a deal that you didn’t have to wear that brace-- you referred to as “Helga” (because it must have felt like a stern German grandmother strapped to your back)-- for the day…a little relief was had, if only for a little while. While you left feeling like the ugly duckling I knew your swan-self was in there and you needed to find and believe what we all knew you had buried inside you. By the summer before tenth grade you shed the back brace, the braces on your teeth, your contacts were popped in your eyes and I could hear Paul McCartney singing: blackbird singing in the dead of night take these broken wings and learn to fly all your life you were only waiting for this moment to arise.

I have been your supporter through friendship woes—good and bad. I have been your shoulder to lean on when your heart was broken, reminding you how beautiful you are. I have been your cheerleader when you performed on the fields. I have been here for you as you struggle to say good-bye to high school and hello to the unknown that lies ahead. No matter how stressful it has been switching you back and forth from college choice one to college choice two and back to choice one again…the stress is always worth not allowing you to look back on life and have regret.

So while you left for your first day of high school “feeling” like the ugly duckling, you will walk out those doors of Lindbergh High School on Thursday morning knowing and believing that you are a beautiful swan. Our crowned princess. High school turned out to be …how did Mrs. Yancey put it… you have been very successful in high school and it has been good to you, so saying good-bye is difficult. You showed the world of green and gold your style, your leadership qualities, your loyal friendship, your beauty and your heart. For that it has been a pleasure and a joy watching you become a young woman.

It because of this that I love you unconditionally!

My Maddi Phyl, my Madders.

Love, Mom

Dear Princess A Sorry To Say But There Is New Royality Among Us (and her titled isn't self proclaimed)

2011-05-01T20:42:00.002-05:00

Prom.

Finding THE dress on the sale rack of ShaleyBug $52
Dress alterations $30
The perfect shoes $60
Earrings, Necklace, bracelet and clutch $40
Vintage 1950's styled hair $15
Boutonniere with a peacock feather $12
Portion of the limo $56
My girlie looking like a million bucks PRICELESS!
Being crowned a Senior Prom Princess DOUBLE PRICELESS!!

Reason I Haven't Been Blogging

2011-04-27T19:13:00.000-05:00

1. spending to much time seeking safety in the basement

2. drawing up plans to build an arc...5 days of rain and the mote around my house is about to overflow

3. menu planning: tea sandwiches, scones and English tea for the royal wedding watching party

4. busy mowing grass between rain drops while wearing wellies
(come to think of it I should probably think about planting a rice field on the side of my house)

5. can probably be found steaming the wrinkles from a prom gown and bedazzling an umbrella to match

I'll be back Sunday with fun prom picks and stories. Till then...

Not So Much A Good Friday

2011-04-23T07:49:00.002-05:00

Yesterday was a day I devoted to scrubbing my frig out, dusting and grocery shopping--dreaming of Ina Garten's Orange Glazed Ham that will grace my Easter feast table...

Most of the day was spent either beating the rain fall, glued to the TV watching "storm mode" or huddling...in of all places Walmart.

Yep huddling in Walmart is what I said!

I have woke to realize there is no visual effects to being part of a "code black". Which means Walmart locks the doors and instructs its customers that a tornado has been spotted in the area and everyone must gather in the center of the store till an all clear is announced. Huddling in the center of the store with Walmart mutants is really no fun. They allowed customers to continue shopping which was okay if you were in the market for Huggies diapers, an exersaucer or St. Louis Cardinal paraphernalia; because that is all that was in the center of the huddle zone. Lucky me the restrooms were in the center cause I needed to pee like a race horse. When I entered the restroom I found around 20 mother and children seeking safety sitting on the nasty bathroom floor, ick! King Ralph moseyed over to electronics to see if the gazillion flat screen TV's were channeled to the weather. [They] "don't turn the TVs to weather in order not to panic the customers". Like a mandated center of the store huddle doesn't ensue panic. Dam, one pre-tween was crying before the wind even started to howl. I don't know about you but hearing my local weatherman tell me Discovery Channel's Storm Chasers came to town this week because they new our area was the hot storm mecca of the week and pointing out the deep red swirled areas on the map is more comforting than a Walmart "code black". As I stood in the huddle listening to the storm grow in intensity, believing grapefruit size hail was turning my truck into Swiss cheese...turns out there was no hail just the fattest rain drops falling in gallon dumps along with roaring winds. All this because I wanted some jelly beans.

While King Ralph and I huddled in Walmart we worried about Princess A who was in St. Charles on a party bus celebrating a friend's twenty-first birthday, M at work and D in the city at a restaurant celebrating one of her besties sixteenth birthday. When in "storm mode" mother hen and her rooster want their little chicks close by. Turns out while our little chicks were fine our communities where hit yet again, neighbors crumbled, airport closed down.... When will this freaky wrath of weather stop? Dear God it's really enough now! When you can walk away with your life it gives new meaning to Easter blessings.

While yesterday's non-stop storms have passed, birds seem to be singing their morning songs today, we wait...not just for Easter's blessings, its feast of ham, colored eggs and those treasured jelly beans, but MORE STORMS!

(the skies are darking as I type)

Wordless Wednesday

2011-04-13T09:21:00.001-05:00

Lately I've Been Passing The Time Watching The Eagle

2011-04-09T09:17:00.000-05:00

Video streaming by Ustream

The Girl Who Changed My Name

2011-03-31T19:21:00.000-05:00

Twenty-one years ago I gazed down at this beautiful face

and the beautiful face gazed back at me.

In that moment I became "mom".

One of many of the happiest days of my life.

Happy Birthday Princess A!

I love you!!

Season: Sprinter

2011-03-26T15:22:00.000-05:00

Who needs words when a picture tells the whole story--yuck!

Expecting 4 inches.

It's About Celebrating The Life That Was

2011-03-21T07:54:00.002-05:00

While I Was Doing Laundry

2011-03-20T09:58:00.002-05:00

While I was doing laundry my pilot nephew was busy having just another day at the office.

The best part of this first day of Spring, besides being proud of my nephew, is wearing my sunglasses and flip flops not just because but because the weather becons it. Grilling ribs and chicken, listening to music on the deck and sipping ginger ale.

I forgot to mention there are 49 days in the school year for me and D. Five days less for M. Is counting down wrong? H-E-double-L, NO!

Soon To Be In The Arms of God

2011-03-18T00:54:00.000-05:00

Just like the weather has changed dramatically this week (snow on Monday, 83* today) so has the health of our beloved band director/teacher. The warrior fought a good battle. Sometimes you are called to lay down your weapon and make peace with the beast.

And so we pray.

Throw Me a Roll And Pour on the Apple Butter While You're At It!

2011-03-16T22:59:00.003-05:00

When I return to work next week I will hear stories of co-workers trips to Vegas and Disney. I am certain the stories will be filled with fun memories but can they say they went to Sikeston? Not just Sikeston but Lambert's--home of the throwed roll?

That's right, for my spring break the girls and I took a two hour drive southeast for lunch. We took D's bestie who had never been. Turns out catching rolls flying across a restaurant was not her strong point--as one clubbed her in the head. When a roll clubs your head it's kind of a killjoy for future roll catching.

The idea was on a Wednesday the place would be empty; the wait lines short...where sharing the bowls of pass arounds--fried okra, fried potatoes, black eyed peas, macaroni and tomatoes--wouldn't be an issue. Ha! Not the case. It seems everyone traveling the highway desires a throwed roll. Along with a heaping plate of food...

Roast beef anyone? I moved the carrots to make space for the fried potatoes, 'cause mashed taters isn't enough startch.

Maybe you'd prefer chicken fried steak and a baked sweet potato? With a liter size cup of beverage?

To ease anyone's panic that we actually ate the ginormous portions of foods...we left with boxes, all of us. Ate half of the leftovers for dinner with yet enough left for lunch again tomorrow.

Since this is spring break we decided to be spontaneous and take a side trip to the Trail of Tears State Park.

(the muddy Missippi River is earning her nickname with

extra muddy waters from a harsh winter and tornadoes)

My letter to Jefferson City would go something like this:

Dear State of MO

First you messed with me by letting the bats hybernate a bit longer, keeping the cave closed with no warning posted on the park's website. Now today you have the visitor center at the Trail of Tears closed. Not to mention the roads to the campgrounds. How's a girl to investigate if she wants to park her home on wheels on your turf? Quit jerking us!

There was one campground open--yuck! That is all I have to say. I am not crazy about trains blazing in my camping backyard. Done it before. Not a fond memory...or a good night's sleep! D's bestie who has never camped before looked at me and said seems like the camp spots are awful close together. She's right! You could reach out and snag a beer from your neighbors cooler, that's how close the sites are. In the end I have decided we can skip the idea of building a fire and roasting our marshmallows here.

It was fun day. I think this might end up being the highlight adventure of our spring break.

Before The Snow

2011-03-15T06:18:00.001-05:00

Last Saturday was a beautiful day. The kids were in shorts. The sun was shining and the camper was begging to meet the truck's hitch for the first time. So. Off a camping we went.

We picked our state park soley for the purpose of touring the cave. Inside the visitor center the time line of the cave's history there was a line that read, "go gaga for Onondaga". Ha! Because close by was a sign that read "Bat Hybernation Cave closed till April 15". Bologna I say. The cave always opens in March! Why couldn't the website have warned cave seekers of this batty non-sense. Wake the bats. Tell them daylight saving time was about to kick in. So what if they are battling white-nose bat syndrome. We wanted the chance to go gaga over Onondaga [Cave].

Nevertheless we had a good over night get away. In 2002 they shut this park down, gutted and rehabbed the entire campground. It is really nice. We had only the company of a couple from Iowa tenting and another family in their mongo fifth wheel. We all spread far enough apart so not to feel one another's company.

Uli went on her first ever camping trip

since no one was around we defyed the park rules by letting our pouch go leashless

she did take the leash when I went for a run

the girlies cranked up the music and danced

(we've decided to go one more season with the pop-up

before buying the big boy)

As the sun was thinking of setting we played B-S

King Ralph doesn't wear a bullshit face to well

hence all the cards in his hands

Later in the night when the cold night air grabbed hold

we took the cards inside; changed to Uno

and still

King Ralph's sausage fingers grasped the whole deck.

We slumbered.

We made a roaring morning fire.

Ate bratwurst for lunch.

Laughed.

Then came home.

Next Spring Break adventure....

I Didn't Smell This One Coming

2011-03-14T11:07:00.001-05:00

The words Spring-Break usually should include "spring"--

which is officially calendared to begin on March 20.

Instead we have woke on the first day of break to this:

This photo was snapped at 830am

The snow stopped falling at 10am

All I have to say is...

THIS IS BULLS#*+!!!!!!!

*********

1145am snow coming down again

big-fat-flakes

MORE BULLS#*+!!!!!!!

Do you smell that?

2011-03-11T07:18:00.000-06:00

I smell it alright. It smells like spring break! In just 7.5 hours--after a half day of work, a staff luncheon and a dreaded training class/test (required by the government) I will be free from scheduled obligation for one week. YIPPEE! YIPPEE!

We aren't escaping town this year for sun and sand. It is so much more fun to spend a spring break wearing winter coats and long underwear staring at brown grass in the yard. However that doesn't mean we can't find an adventure or two to experience. At least that is what I am hoping for.

Modeling Vintage

2011-03-09T21:25:00.002-06:00

The girls decided a few Friday evenings ago to unearth my treasured fashions: the senior prom dress and my wedding dress.

The prom dress has always been a favorite. No matter how much I try to convince them to wear it to their own proms; I can't seem to get any takers. Why I don't know? It is gorgeous in its aqua cellophane like fabric, with its one sided trio of ruffles. Believe it or not this circa 1980's piece of fashion could probably be pulled off in 2011. Acutally the girls are softening to the idea. The only thing that keeps M from going all vintage to prom is her height and the dress' lack of grace for high heals. Everyone knows my 5'7 girlie loves to rock those 4 inchers. (The only thing stopping me from wearing my gown around the house is cough-cough pounds)

My wedding dress has been sealed in a box on a high shelf in the basement storage room going on twenty-four years. So when they suggested trying it on...I was like go for it! The air tight seal broken and the pristine white dress with its Corpse Bride-esque vibe (or Beetle Juice-esque aura) popped to life. A wee bit crinkled and rumpled.

The girls danced around the living room modeling my preserved treasures. M our minor league fashion designer began redesigning the dress...snip this off and that off, add more tulle, cut the sleeves off, rip the waist ruffle off....

switch-a-roo

In the end...why the heck did I save my wedding dress? To remind me that I was once a skinny beotch. Ya? Maybe. Maybe not. Actually when my wedding dress was boxed I thought it was the most BEE-U-TEE-FUL thing ever. No daughter of mine in her right mind would come to me some day asking to walk down the isle in my white wedding frock. I can envision David Tutera asking why while pouring Kerosine with a strike match in hand. Princess A told me "in fifty years [your dress] will be cool again."

In fifty years I don't want to be around to find out.

Back in the box went the little white dress.

FLASHBACK

Prom:

My favorite part of this eeeek! picture is the photographer's

desire to create a background with a single fake tree plus the fact that

my date was a bad imitation of Fantasy Island's Mr. Roarke.

WEDDING DAY:

Aaaahhh, my dress looked pretty in 1987.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-03-02T00:10:00.001-06:00

Dorothy We Aren't In Kansas Anymore

2011-02-28T07:25:00.003-06:00

While the weekend drew the curtains on the school's musical it opened way to a wicked storm resembling the one in Kansas that took Dorothy to a land full of challenge and reward. The kind of storm that woke us from our dreamy slumbers and had us scurrying to the basement before we were carried away to Oz.

It was spooky. The winds howling and hail pelting,

shaking the house, rattling the windows.

The weather girl saying a funnel cloud was spotted in my neck of the woods.

What could have summoned such weather
after a beautiful-beautiful day

that was drawing February to a near close?

I'm thinking this...

four days of killing the ozone.

Heads of curls that could withstand the high winds worthy of

carrying anyone off to Oz.

Or maybe it could be the weather gods weren't happy

when the kids roasted Toto at the cast party.

(but I can attest to the fact that a most moving

eulogy was given in honor of Toto before

he was charred to his death)

Regardless the long weekend in Oz.

Regardless the spooky storm.

I was bound to be tired anyway for staying up

past my bedtime watching the Oscars.

The Calendar Says

2011-02-24T01:17:00.000-06:00

The calendar is inked for the next four days with the words "Wizard of Oz".

While these talented, beautiful and handsome teens have the starring roles...

my little D shines as a munchkin

and a poppie,

that is going to slumber an Oz seeking quad to sleep.

D has a favorite new color and it's emerald green (or as close to it as one can find in their closest)

When not wearing emerald green she sure can cut the stage doing the jitterbug

As for me, well, I can be found in the ticket booth

taking your green backs in exchange for the best seats in the house.

You better not make things difficult with large bills or I'll send you know who after you

along with her loyal flying monkeys

By Saturday I can almost guarantee

D will be begging her bestie Grace, I mean Glinda

To help her find some ruby slippers to heal click three times

'cause after months of practice

there's no place like home

In the Mailbox

2011-02-21T21:35:00.000-06:00

Dear Higher Education Establishments-

I am hoping this week you can take a break from loading our mailbox to the gill with future education options for D. You see while I understand your desire to promote your universities to my baby...twenty-five envelopes in a week, well that kind of takes up needed space in the recycle bin. Plus we are trying to work through the college needs of number two before we move onto number three.

So while we are flattered take a pause. Please!

Now I need to leave you so I can fill out my FAFSA forms.

(When really all I want to do is shop on-line for sandals and research vacation options.)

Couture From Copy Center

2011-02-15T17:02:00.000-06:00

M's co-worker created this fabulous hat for her.

The reason for the hat is to protect her head in the case of a fall

when she faints from her anemia.

Which happens, or was happening often.

She goes through phases where the low iron takes her to the ground.

This isn't any ole' hat, it comes with lots of first aid applications--band aides and mints.

I swear this hat could be all the rage at the Kentucky Derby.

Since it is a one-of-a-kind hat designed and fitted just for M...

that makes it Haute couture.

The Great Midwestern Glacier Melt Welcomes the Snowball

2011-02-13T21:31:00.001-06:00

Some days blogging seems like a chore; like washing the 1900 square feet of hard flooring throughout my abode...which I did yesterday. When the region is use to temperatures that freeze toes and suddenly it is okay to run the trash outside barefoot...well, the brain gets to confused to properly form sentences. So instead of straining myself to be witty and charming with words I am simply posting a few pics from last evening's Snowball--Boogie Down to Funky Town. Feel free to help caption the photos for me.

M and the seniors

D and the sophomores

It's Friday and That Means...

2011-02-11T19:41:00.000-06:00

I will be learning a new dance with kids in living room. Feel free to join me

Trophy Thursday

2011-02-10T19:45:00.000-06:00

That HUGE disastrous mess in the living room paid off!

Not to mention the hard work in all the other categories.

Is that not the look of a happy DECA member?

First Place: Hospitality and Tourism

First Place: Chapter Award

(the pretty scrapbook that was the talk of District and sought after for a glimpse)

Third Place: Apparal and Accessories

We're proud!

A Little of This And A Little of That

2011-02-09T23:16:00.001-06:00

On Saturday I penned this:

As I woke this morning to snow...I wanted to flip Mother Nature the bird. Really shoveling snow three times in a week is RIDICULOUS. I am totally over telling the girls that shoveling snow builds character, or that working together toward the same goal makes me happy--it's a bunch s^*+ talk. Truth be we are ALL together tired of loving each other over snow and the frozen tundra. And, somehow, King Ralph is always working when all this shoveling needs to be done. It seems shoveling snow is women's work these days. Not just shoveling but chiseling too. I think at the bottom of my driveway I can begin to train the girls to part of a curling team. We have enough push brooms in the garage to rival our supply of snow shovels.

But seriously Mother Nature, ENOUGH! ENOUGH ALREADY!!

In our quest to see every Oscar nominated best picture, here's our updated viewing record:

X Black Swan
X The Fighter
X Inception
X The Kids Are All Right
X 127 Hours
X The King's Speech
X The Social Network
X Toy Story 3
X Winter's Bone I liked the movie,King Ralph did not. It was a bit slow moving, still feel the story had much more potential than they gave to it. It actually haunted my sleep being that it centers around SE Missouri. In my opinion not exactly best picture quality.
__ True Grit

Today I pen this:

Our house is filled with tension.

Okay maybe not tension but a whole lot of M stress

derived from tomorrow's DECA District 9 competition.

M's stress looks like this:

This is how my living room has looked for the past two days;

as a scrap book is assembled.

My patience with the mess feels a bit like the room.

All we can hope for tomorrow is lots more of those gold medals and trophies.

I Am Going to Crow

2011-02-04T23:20:00.000-06:00

I hope you don't mind but I am going to crow about my nephew.

Sometimes something is so good you want the whole world to know.

http://www.jber.af.mil//news/story.asp?id=123241348

What Makes Me Happy

2011-02-02T00:01:00.013-06:00

Althought this photo is from the last snow day,

not yesterday, when we all shoveled 4 inches of sleet off the driveway...

working together toward the same goal

is what makes me happy.

And this too...

when they are making each other laugh on a summer road trip.

The girlies are what make King Ralph and I happy!

This guy

not seeing his shadow today would make me happy too.

What makes you happy?

Happy Groundhogs Day!

I'm Screwed

2011-02-01T08:07:00.016-06:00

Yesterday when I went to the store for the ceremonial emergency stock-the-house-in-preparation-for-winter-storm all I wanted during this "snowmageddon" was my guilty pleasure: Canada Dry's cranberry ginger ale. It seems, as I was informed, it is a seasonal pleasure and went out of market on January sixth. Errrrr! I know, I know create your own. But there is something yum-yum about a qualified mixologist doing it for me. That perfect balance of healthy fruit juice and carbonation.

Then I got this weather report from a friend

I'm totally screwed now. The truck was covered in ice by 3pm yesterday and now the odds of making it to a liquor store...well it would be much to dangerous to fetch a six pack. Guess I'll just sit here with my glass of water waiting to see what it feels like to be totally screwed.

Wait a minute here...it's only Tuesday. I got a few days till I am totally screwed--according to the above weather report getting screwed comes "Fri-Sat". Whoosh I'm saved.

Now I will commence with preparations for making snow cream. The exact reason never to be without milk when a snowmageddon hits. That's dessert to my homemade chicken pot pie.

*********

Oscar Best Picture Viewing Update:
Is of thought that the nominating committee was smoking crack when they chose a few of these flicks

X Black Swan (good but twisted)
X The Fighter (my second favorite, and should be the movie to garner best supporting actress)
X Inception (hard to follow)
X The Kids Are All Right (I have seen turtles cross a highway at a fastest pace than this movie played)
X 127 Hours (third favorite)
X The King's Speech (my favorite so far!)
X The Social Network (only on the list because FB is so here and now)
X Toy Story 3 (cute but a story told over and over...did not make me cry and I cry at movies)
__ Winter's Bone
__ True Grit

Preparing for the Big Storm

2011-01-31T09:49:00.001-06:00

The big one is coming. It's all the buzz on TV...it could be as "bad as the storm of 82'", so they are predicting, or saying. Is predicting or saying about the same thing in this age of advanced weather tracking tools?

I remember that storm of 82', having school off for the whole week. I recall that was back in the days before all the fancy snow melt chemicals were invented and snow removal guys just threw sand down on the roadways to try to create traction. By the time the storm of 82' ended, it all melted away, I think we were building sand castles on the highways with all that leftover traction substance.

We're bracing here at the Keeper abode for the "big storm" of 20-11.

How do we brace?

I headed to the grocery store at 7am to load the pantry up. If I didn't the five of us would have been ~~feasting on~~ fighting over tortilla chips, Captain Crunch and sticks of salted butter. Mmmmm, Mmmmm. Oh come to think of it we have fresh fish in the freezer, except the kids would rather starve than eat fish. Anyway, we are stocked up now and I am prepared to make days worth of comfort foods. I guess I was late on the rush to the store as the bread shelves were empty and the last gallon of 1% milk was nabbed by moi. I hope all the other late comers' flavor is thick and fatty whole milk, cause that's all they gots now. And, I didn't even have to have a show down for that last gallon of low fat calcium building beverage.

Now if Mother Nature can just hold the ice and snow off till the school day finishes. Hear that Mother Nature hold it off we have no desire to lengthen the school year.

Oh, and Mr. Groundhog, we'll be talking later!

Hi-ho-hi-ho it's off to work I go....

In the Dark

2011-01-29T21:29:00.002-06:00

Friday I was in the shower getting all clean smelling for work when pow--the power went out.

I felt like this:

Because as I stood in the pitch dark bathroom, home alone, I began to let my mind wander to horror films. I began to think someone must have broke into the house, turned off the power and was coming to get me. It wasn't Norman Bates after me. So who? Who was coming to get me but this guy:

I recovered quickly. Except for the fact that I now had a wet head and no blow dryer. My hair for work pretty much looked like this:

I was afraid to open the frig to make my lunch; being by the time I left for work the power had been out an hour. I wanted to keep all the cold in the box in case the power stayed out all day. I brought microwave popcorn from the pantry for lunch. Yuck. Then I burnt it in the hundred year old office microwave with it's turn dial timer. I stunk the office up something terrible. I ate Fiber One Cinnamon Toasty O's I keep on my desk to snack on instead. What a lunch that was!

That was my Friday.

King Ralph and I are now on a quest to see every Oscar nominated film before the big award show.

Here's our viewing record to date:
X Black Swan
X The Fighter
X Inception
__The Kids Are All Right
X 127 Hours
X The King's Speech
X The Social Network
X Toy Story 3
__ Winter's Bone
__ True Grit

Dear Biggest Losers

2011-01-27T07:57:00.000-06:00

Dear Biggest Losers-

I have failed you, my co-workers. Admittance is the first step to getting back on the right track, right?

So here goes.

Last Friday was a bad day so Saturday morning found me digging into M's leftover DECA Krispy Kreme donuts...three chocolate iced donuts to be exact--Mmmmmm. I suppose you can call that emotional eating. Yesterday I had a Diet Pepsi from the staff lounge vending machine. Plus I kind of skipped on the whole exercise thing. I've fallen of the wagon.

So...I plan to skip the weigh-in. I won't be found stripping down to my undies and tank in the bathroom stall this Thursday morn. Nope I plan to ease the pain of seeing the Biggest Loser scale read a pound heavier and just anny-up the fricking buck for weight gain. I suppose there could be chance I could have stayed the same and only have to anny-up fifty cents, but, but I am taking the weak way out.

Now the question is should I weigh down the envelope with four quarters or keep it light with the one green back?

Signed,
Jodi- a weak link in the chain of healthy co-workers

...off she goes to pack her fruit salad for lunch.

Adjust And Carry On

2011-01-24T09:10:00.000-06:00

Not every day is the day you want it to be or even expect it to be. But, somehow we always manage to carry on. We keep on loving.

Not every wintry Monday starts out how you expect it to...then you just roll with the punches and adjust.

With that said: I scooped M off the kitchen counter (as this is where she chose to lay her head as she began to faint), chipped the thick layer of frozen wintry mix from the truck's windshield, drove D to school (which took seven times longer than it should), fixed Princess A's continuing college tuition payment aggravation issue by phone, made a doctor's appointment for M, called into work (hoping to get in there at some point today)--all by 8:26am and now...I'll get clean and sing in the shower.

Despite, I still like Mondays. Maybe just not this Monday.

The Smell of Green

2011-01-22T20:49:00.000-06:00

Everyday when I walk into work I don't smell the scent of crayons and pencil shavings, nope, I smell I money. Cashola. The green backs. Bankroll. Moolah. I smell 70% of the $290 Biggest Loser pot. I could even deal with my sniffer breathing in the aroma of a second place 30% take. In the last two weeks I have managed to lose seven pounds. Could I be okay with nabbing the third place pot? Maybe if the rest of the cohorts keep gaining or maintaining ($1 each week if you gain, .50 if you maintain). By April 29 I have plans to be able to sport my prom dress again. (Only Lin has had the pleasure of enjoying the vision of my beautiful vintage frock.) I'm going to be needing to do a lot of fast moving to meet that goal.

Oh, talk about fast moving, it's surfaced: the proof, that I was working my Ginger Rogers moves so fast I seem to have lost my shoes.

The proof not only I, but Tina too were cutting-the-rugs-chaperones in Pasadena.

That my friends had to be worth at least a pound of a head start on the race to being the Biggest Loser.

Snow Day

2011-01-20T21:00:00.036-06:00

It happened again, SNOW DAY!

The last allotted one.

After this it's payback time.

I sat staring at the TV last hoping they would flash across the bottom of the screen that we didn't have school, work...that I could sleep knowing no one would be calling me at the wee hours of the morning breaking into my dreams.

Ha! fat chance, 457am ring-ring "no school today Jodi".

Yippee.

Except now I had to come alive, fumble in the drawer to find that

phone tree sheet and make my call.

By 515am I was wide awake watching none other than

The Housewives of Beverly Hills.

Why?!

Never watched a Housewives show before.

The 6 inches of fallen snow with more on the way must have stolen my brains.

You want to know what really took my brains?

Milk? Check.

Bread? Check.

Eggs? Check.

Tampons?

WHAT NO FEMININE PRODUCT LEFT IN THE HOUSE? AAAAAHHHH!

I thought I was going to have to resort to this

and a roll of Bounty paper towels

. Lucky me, in my personal state of panic,

managed to dig from the bottom of the linen closest,

hiding under beach towels, a 36 pack of Supers.

Whew, day saved. Disaster diverted.

So the next big snow we have I guess I know now

to add that to the list of emergency supplies.

In a house of four girls it is as important as milk for survival.

By the time the snow stopped falling I collected my brood

and tossed them all shovels and ice scrapers.

Then I heard this come out of my nearly twenty-one year old's mouth:

"snow days equal child labor".

Uuuu, um, you ain't no child no mo' Princess A!

SHOVEL GIRLFRIEND SHOVEL.

To which I say: shoveling builds character and I am all about character education!

I thank you.

Your daddy thanks you.

The truck thanks you.

Your car in the garage thanks you.

For that snowless driveway.

(Just so don't think I am a total slave driver I helped too.)

Now we sit waiting and wondering will we have school tomorrow.

Will the next storm that is coming to dump on us Sunday night

give us a five day weekend?

Time can only tell.

Bears Vs Grandma

2011-01-19T17:04:00.000-06:00

It hit me at Christmas when I opened my grandmother's Christmas card that she was slipping into the next stage of aging: when everyone else does everything for you. You see my grandmother has signed her cards "Grandma Chicago" since Princess A was around three-years old. Being that my kids were born having more grandmothers than the usual kid--they had a great great grandmother till 1995--everyone got a moniker. This Christmas my grandmother's card arrived signed "Gramma" in my aunt's hand writing. It was no surprise that she didn't have the strength in her eighty-eight year old hands to scribe her many given names upon her own cards; her voice was weakening with every weekly call I made to her.

On Christmas Eve we received word that she was taken to the hospital by ambulance. Leaving for California in a few days left me worrying the "what-ifs". But I was told my grandmother would have it no other way than for me to head west...of course there was no assurance of what would or could happen while I was in California.

This past Sunday we piled into M's car ('cause Illinois gas is crazy expensive) with constant moans from the girls about not taking the truck and headed to Downers Grove.

Don't the big girls look all cozy and snug in the back seat of the Honda Accord?

As long as we kept them slumbering they didn't complain, much. Mostly M because she felt she was much to much of a Diva to be smashed in the middle.

When King Ralph got tired of their we-are-to-close-together-back-here groans... we did what we do best as the dominating gender of the house--we sang every song from the Carpenter's greatest hits album to him. His response to our song bird voices..."the more you sing and drive me nuts the longer before I stop [for food]." No wait I believe he said, yep he did say, "I'm waiting for you all to sing Dionne Warwick". Like every car trip he breaks down and stops before we cancel our choir practice.

I had called my grandma the night before but she was just getting into bed for the night at 730pm. They put those poor old folks to bed before dinners have begun to digest. She asked me to call her back the next day. I did better than that I came, we came, to visit her. Surprise! She was shocked, but thrilled as she adjusted her blinding eyes as we stepped into her room, "Joooodeeee,(pause) Alee,(pause) Maddi, (pause, pause) Demi and Kevin, ooooohhhh." I figured we would add to her company, that I would see a cousin or an aunt, an uncle.

Me: Grandma, has anyone else been up to visit you today? Or coming?

Grandma: Ha are you kidding, no, the Bears are playing!

Chicagoans have their priorities; the whole nursing facility was empty of visitors, except us fools from Saint Louis.  Even Grandma had the Bears playing on her TV.

My grandma's mind is as sharp as a tack but her body weak. Although, her appetite proved healthy as she ate her lunch from her wheelchair.   Her body holds more fluid than my bath tub. Her heart beats faster than a metronome. She always says "you never know when your bus ticket is going to arrive"...so I'm glad we made the short trip up to visit with her. Who really knows when her "bus ticket" will arrive; could be today, tomorrow, next week, next year. In the meantime, just in case, I feel better knowing we'll have no regrets.

Then we met my best friend and her family for some deep dish pizza and fried calamari.   Some how the two of us managed to spring a whole lot of girls from our loins; leaving our ~~Beta males~~ spouses out numbered ever more.

We checked into the hotel where the girls drew straws as to who got to sleep on the pull out sofa...

which left D ticked off as she is ~~usually~~ always is the one who gets the short straw and is left disgruntled slumbering on the ground.

Before we left for another visit with Grandma and then home I hit the hotel gym...winning the Biggest Loser at work is a priority for me! I see dollar signs when I close my eyes.

A Few Of My Favorites

2011-01-15T11:42:00.000-06:00

King Ralph and I are about to head downtown to the RV and Travel Show to take more notes in our search for the perfect new family recreational vehicle.

In the meantime I thought I would share my two favorite floats that rolled down Colorado Blvd. on New Years Day.

Why are they my favorite? First, for their artistry. I mean look at those seeds and such laid in flawless detail that make a perfect black and white photo...

and that it's Ronald Reagan.

To mine eyes came tears as I stared at the beauty of this float...not meaning all the great skill in creative endeavor. No, I am talking about the grace of unselfish nature of those riding on the float. Each person on the float is holding a photograph of some who gave them an organ or a family member who's life was lost but gave an organ to save another. Since there obviously isn't space enough for all these heroes families; beautiful seed art offered colored photos of many more....

That's why these were my faves!

Building Dreams,Friendships&Memories--The Finale

2011-01-13T19:30:00.006-06:00

I spent my snow day on Tuesday in my jammies, making a pot of cream of leek-potato-smoked ham soup, watching Bette Midler's HBO Vegas special and blogging the trip finale...then my hand hit some unknown button and, poof, all was erased. Frustrated I closed the computer and told myself to try again tomorrow.

Well, it's past tomorrow.

So here goes.

After the band's ~~crazy~~ ~~loud~~ New Years Eve bash, which ended promptly at 9pm in order for everyone to set the cell phone alarms for 330am...let me just say a chaperone needs more than 3 hours of sleep to function. I tried to trick my body into believing that a hot shower (no time to wash hair, ball cap to the rescue) and a fresh pair of panties would make me feel alive. Truth is there isn't enough Bath and Body Works floral scented body wash and not even the silkiest pair of Victoria Secret panties could make any human feel alive at 330am. But I fooled the kids with a perky act that could have had Hollywood talent seekers hunting me down on Colorado Blvd. By 4am I was bunning the hair of Color Guard girls. By 430am I was swishing the girls to the elevators for breakfast and a bus ride.

Before leaving Saint Louis I prepared these beautiful trash bag coats for the girls

here you go, the full length view...I'll take orders later.

Once out of the buses everything on your person is either part of your parade materials or is going to the trash. They were ever so grateful for these hobo coats as it was yet another COLD California morning.

We arrived at the parade route around 630am to a throng of coach buses

While the 208 kids were in their parade holding pattern; we chaperones, family and friends hunkered down in section

where our resident equipment/cheerleader dad lead us in our customary Lindbergh spirit cheer F-L-Y...E-R-S (repeat x3), flyers,flyers are the best. Then anyone sitting around us, say like the Wisconsin fans knew we were a crowd pumped with pride.

Here's what you don't see on HGTV

the die-hard folks who camped out all night for that perfect spot on the parade route, all ready for

and to see...who else but the queen of cooking with butter herself--Paula Deen.

This is how Paula Deen looked before section 1680 started chanting Pau-la, Pau-la, Pau-la...she stopped smiling and just looked at us all shaking her head like, you silly grown-ups, and then waved to us. She felt our love. We melted her heart like a stick of butter in a hot pan. Of course I wanted to run down, hop in that fancy old time car covered with flowers telling about how her bourbon beef tenderloin I served for Christmas Eve dinner was a smashing hit or that her dark chocolate truffles Princess A and I made for a dessert choice were so heavenly they spiked Uncle Al's blood sugar out the roof...but I didn't. I left her to her royal duties.

As mine and Tina's handy float work approached I belted out "look at that raccoon, with its macaroon coconut and black onion seed"...we laughed while those unaware of our float decorator talents sat amazed at my ability to tell the natural material used from a distance.

I didn't want to brag to much to the crowd ~~so I'll brag to all of you instead~~...look at our little pig hay house work. Those bundles of hay are so perfect.

you need a better look?

They kept on coming--the floats, the bands, the horses

and with horses come...

pooper scoopers with corsages and a strike a Vogue take-our-photo pose. Classiest pooper scoopers ever! These must be very skilled pooper scoopers to be doing this sh*+ job dressed in white.

Then... THE MOMENT WE HAD BEEN WAITING FOR...
The MOMENT in which we sold SEVEN MILES OF BANDWICHES...

Then in the blink of an eye the kids marched right on past us

Ask any of us parents what tune the kids were playing as they passed us...we couldn't tell you. Why? Because we were cheering and whistling for them so loud nothing else could be heard. Ask a kid what was the greatest part of the parade and they will all tell you it was marching past section 1680 and feeling the oozing over-flow of parental pride and love. (Don't worry we watched the video later to hear what we drowned out.) It was better than knowing they were on TV.

What they didn't tell us until after the parade was that our band director struggled to keep the pace walking in his ill health. That he was chauffeured on a scooter along the route, stepping back onto the pavement as he approached our section. He rose to the occasion for everyone else...but mostly for the kids. Sitting by his elderly mother, who joined us on the trip, she had tears in her eyes. It must have been both difficult and joyous for her to see her son on that day of accomplishment for his young students.

Now what I want to know is who got stuck cleaning up after all those curbside campers? Those parade watchers are some messy folk!

(See the blue line? If you dare to step over that line during the parade you are subject to arrest.)

Then it was back to the hotel. To pack up the truck. Uhg! (yes turth be told this was the point when I got totally verklempted packing those rose flags; as I realized the Tournament of Roses Parade was forever the final band performance that one of my offspring would be a part of).

Then kids came with lots and lots of suitcases!!

Since our body's fuel tanks were running on empty the best way to fill them up again was with a party. It's time to celebrate on the Queen Mary! Which meant fancy party clothes for a special dinner. It meant time to thank a band director who made the trip in the name of the kids with the seniors performing the Alma mater..

it meant dancing...

and more dancing...

and even more dancing.

We drug our worn out selves back to the hotel for one last night and this time a good nights sleep (okay well not me because I tended to vomit explosions all night) where dreams of memories made will be treasured forever.

Especially for these thirty-two teens of the Class of 2011

The End

Building Dreams,Friendships & Memories Part 3

2011-01-10T15:15:00.001-06:00

Wheeeeewwww! I, my fellow chaperones and a majority of the kids have now made it through this trip all the way till December 31, on the amount of sleep most bank in 2.5 nights. How do they figure they can wake us up? Toss us all into an amusment park for more FUN!

The weather was California cold!

We layered up

(except for our manfriend who sported shorts no matter the weather).

We rode everything time would allow.

Which wasn't enough time.

Of course we did some eating between rides.

All that eating can give the girls gas.

Nothing was passed in public, just a lot of talk.

Our manfriend/ride buddy was slowly becoming one of the girls.

The only thing he couldn't grasp was our constant need to visit the restroom.

I made the ride buddies stop for photos with characters

While we waited in line for the back lot tour

We got some devastating news--an F3 tornado had hit our community.

The text starting rolling in with pictures attached showing the devastating damage.

The night before my father-in-law who lives in Branson was hit.

His boat dock was demolished by the twister.

Two boats in the slips sunk to the bottom of Table Rock Lake.

His house, well the roof got kissed by the fierce winds as well.

I text my friends who lived in the areas that were affected...

the same area many on the trip live.

Many of our chaperones and families on the trip depended on their neighbor's

kind heart to board up their homes--windows blown, roof totally gone.

King Ralph was enjoying his day off when he was summoned to work.

Princess A and D starting sending me pictures of the city that he protects and serves

downed power lines up and down the main road.

Sad and scary!

This is how one of the neighborhoods down the street from the school I work at looks

(ten of the families in the school have been displaced)

there we were on the back lot tour and the

War of Worlds set didn't look much different than our Sunset Hills neighborhood

When you are hundreds of miles away there is nothing you can do but continue on with what you are doing. The kids knew to call home and if they needed to talk with us we were there to listen.

We just kept on having our Grinchmas fun.

My favorite ride was

and

We took one of the other male chaperones on the Mummy.

We ride buddies rode it twice in a row.

So the extra had to ride twice.

It made him green...he ditched us after that.

We found the kids in line behind us on Jurassic Park

I snapped a final photo of M and her senior class/band mates

Then it was time to cut the fun short.

It was after all New Years Eve

and

when in California to march in the Rose Parade

you have to celebrate the New Year on New York time

M and her roomies bought these fun glasses

at the Universal gift shop

to ring in the New Year

(which they are planning to wear to graduation--so they say)

Wait, here's a a closer look at the light-up spectacles

Then when the bellies of 208 teenagers

had been packed with ice cream sundaes

(since there was no bubbly to toast for the adults we too got drunk on the sugared treat)

The California clock struck 9pm...

which meant in New York it was midnight...

which meant in the ballroom of the Warner Center Marriott

it too was midnight

and the kids, all 208 of them blew their party horns

and hugged and high fived

You know I am still curious about...how the kid who got a

full comic book character face paint job

at the amusement park got the stuff off.

Then we sent those sugar charged teens to bed with their alarms set for 330am.

To be continued...

Celebration Dinner

2011-01-09T00:01:00.001-06:00

Because Nellie guessed who M's famous find was, Mario Lopez, I am breaking out the beans.

I've been saving these beans for just the perfect reason...it's time to break them out--my Nellie beans.

I won these beans from Nellie for guessing the correct location she was visiting. So it only seems fitting that I should break them out, cook them up and share the feast; since she guessed correctly on my challenge. I might even throw in a little ham.

My pal Terri says not to worry about what the magical fruit can do, when the more you eat the more you toot... she recommends "Gas-X for the Ass-X"

Sunday dinner is at 4pm.

Tomorrow Part 3 of to be continued

To Be Continued Taking A Nap

2011-01-08T13:06:00.001-06:00

I have a few important things to tend to: stripping the house of Christmas, NAPPING and going to the gym.

So till I return here is a better chance at naming the famous guy M spotted at the Farmer's Market.

Can you name him now Lin?

Building Dreams,Friendship & Memories Part 2

2011-01-07T17:00:00.001-06:00

Woke on Thursday to one of my girls feeling worse than she did when I tucked in bed Wednesday night. Her body ached, her skin hot to the touch and the bones aching. She clearly would not make it from the bed. I called the band nurse, who herself was sick-sick-sick--but carried on as nothing was wrong. We filled our kid full alternating doses of Tylenol and Ibuprofen, TUMS and a bedside table of ice chips and fresh fruit, tucked into bed again with a prescription of rest-rest-rest. The principal stayed back to nurse her and others. I checked in often.

We handed out uniforms. Dressed the kids in bids and warm-ups... off to practice at a local high school to practice for Band Fest.

While the 208 kids practiced we chaperones laid out the next step of dressing (if I never see another garment bag or hat box again in my life it will not be to soon).

Clearly the lack of sleep was catching up, an order of Starbucks was in much need. When the travel rep went to retrieve the kids who were ordered to sleep in from the day before stomach flu episodes--we talked our rep into a Starbucks stop. Oh-ya-caffeine-baby! Then we emerged from the warm bus catching a dose of sunshine, watching the kids work their musical magic.

When the kids finished practice the head band director made a speech...one that drew tears from all listening. You see the band director has been battling cancer since last February. He seemed to be taking the treatments quite well all during competition season, then about three weeks before the trip things took a turn. His appearances during the trip week were sporadic. The week before it was unsure if he would be healthy enough to make the trip at all. He spent most of his time resting in his hotel suite; as he should have been. He came out of that room when the kids performed, dressed in suit, smiling... pretty much pretending to feel good-- for the kids. His speech was a sort of unneeded apology for not being ever present and that he wasn't exactly where he had wanted to be health wise. Tears. Tears. Tears.

Then it was off to the

Where the kids had a formal picture snapped to commemorate

this most honorable band moment of their lives

FACT TIME

There are 27,000 high schools in America

only 15 are chosen to march in the

Tournament of Roses Parade

Lindbergh has been chosen twice

Outside the security fence

15 of 16 of the 18 color guard girls who made the trip

(that poor sick-feverish-kid-back-bed-at-the-hotel

missing out made me sad)

snapped a group picture with the guard directors...

and then one of me and my girly.

We visited another float decorating tent

where I spotted the Grand Marshall vehicle

all spruced up with its flowers...

and tons of flowers waiting to be placed.

Next it was off to Pasadena City College

for a nibble of California tradition

and

where the kids performed a simplified field show
to their parade music selections...

and our band director

who exhibited a display of dedication for the kids

got the customary Band Fest participation trophy

All the hard work and lack of sleep
called for a party!
So in those marked carry-on (gift) bags
were party clothes.
What girl doesn't like a reason to wear
a fun little dress and a pair of stilettos.

We waited for some new friends to arrive from
Owasso High School - Owasso, OK
to share the dance floor...
since they were really late the Flyers
owned the dance floor.

I am sure at some point in my life video will surface

of Tina and I owning the dance circle

during do da Stanky Legg.

The other chaperones enjoyed

playing the wall flowers...

Not Tina and I, we filled our own dance cards.

Then it was back to the hotel to check on my sick kid,
prepare for another fun filled day on a mini dose of sleep.

To be continued...

Building Dreams,Friendships & Memories Part 1

2011-01-06T19:53:00.006-06:00

Today's blog is sponsored by Cover Girl concealer stick. The bags under moi's eyes are as wide as Texas and as dark as the night. Every now and then jet lag grabs hold of me, I am suddenly so tired I wonder how I am going to make it through the next hour of work--some how I do.

Nellie told it is time to blow the dust off my keyboard and start recapping what was a most exciting week we had. So, this one's for you Nellie! I am fortunate to have experienced the parade from both sides--in 2005 as a parent just enjoying California while Princess A marched down Colorado Blvd and in 2011 as a chaperone with M marching down that same blvd. I wouldn't trade one experience for the other; both were perfect!

The view from the plane window was lovely...

I stretched my head past the booming deafening engine

to catch a glimpse of the mountain range.

I don't know how I got to be such a lucky be-otch...

it seems that American Airlines seats 31F and 31D are both in the lavatory. The good point to these glorious seat assignments is--I didn't have to travel far to relieve myself of all those complimentary Diet Coke(s). I must make myself a note to thank the travel company for the best seats in the plane.

THEN

I hopped off the plane at LAX

with a dream and my cardigan

welcome to the land of fame excess, (woah)

am I gonna fit in?

Jumped in the cab,

Here I am for the first time

Look to my right and I see the Hollywood sign

This is all so crazy

Everybody seems so famous

Do you know who that is that M and her friend

spotted at the Farmer's Market?

Sorry I got ahead of myself here...back peddling...

When we arrived in California we headed to Santa Monica Pier ...

where we were able to dip our feet in the Atlantic Ocean;

some of the kids seeing the ocean for the first time

Tuesday we went on a tour of Hollywood...

stopped at Grauman's Chinese Theater

to see all the hand and foot prints in the cement

and the Hollywood Walk of Fame...

For a moment I thought I spotted Eddie Murphy reprising his role in Trading Places...

but it was just another wily street con artist

pretending to be celebrating New Year's Eve [on December 28].

Then to the Farmer's Market for lunch.

My roomie and I gawked at the fruit bowl,

wishing we would have picked it for a side

to our yummy Magee's corn beef sandwiches

(best corn beef I ever ate!)

Next on the days itinerary was float decorating.

This really was one of the highlights of the trip.

I made bundles of hay for the one of the 3 Little Pigs' House.

The kids assigned to assembling the float were a group of Asian kids. We thought maybe they were the band kids from Japan. Someone mentioned they didn't speak English. In my universal language of hand gestures I motion the hay bundles were for the piggy's house, handed it off and went back to bundling more. On my second trip to deliver the hay I did the same hand gesture when the adorable Asian teen responds "thank you" in an accent of that from middle America. It was a good laugh and one we laughed about the rest of the day. We are such goofs!

My bus mate and I then packed on the macaroon coconut

for the racoon's head on the Wildlife float.

The coconut smelled good enough to eat.

M and I secured the crushed pecans,

bark and black onion seeds for the squirrels perch.

Once we had made our mark on the floats

it was off to the "Cable Guy's" favorite eatery--Medieval Times.

There may be some dispute, but the yellow was the best...

(the food however sucked).

Mmmmm dragon's blood soup aka Campbell's tomato soup.

~~~~~

Tina: My soup has chunks. Does yours?

Me: Nope

Tina: What do you think the chunks are then?

Me: Dragon Blood clots I suppose.

The story line of this dinner theater is: hunky-boys-on-horses-with-long-flowing-hair.

The blue team had some cute team members

On Wednesday we woke to a down pouring of rain.

We had Disneyland/California Adventure fun in the rain...

the "ride buddies" slapped on those plastic ponchos and were all ready to go...

with the rain stopping around noon, and in time for a parade down Main Street.

Just before the ride buddies resumed chaperone duty...

a photo without the plastic ponchos with a castle backdrop was in order

To end the day I snapped a photo to remember that I did in fact collect every kid I was responsible for

and only one of these eight left sick with a fever,

bound for a night of my special nursing talents.

To be continued....

Here's A Tease

2011-01-03T05:00:00.001-06:00

Right there in the middle of the

Hollywood Walk of Fame M and I

found something to sing

Upside, inside out she's livin la vida loca

She'll push and pull you down, livin la vida loca

Her lips are devil red and her skin's the color mocha

She will wear you out livin la vida loca Come On!

Livin la vida loca, Come on!

She's livin la vida loca.

I'm trying to muster the brain cells still in a slumber to recap.

Coming To You From The Clouds

2011-01-02T16:02:00.001-06:00

From seat 31d, which actually is the lavatory, they pretend it was a real airplane seat to rob me of my money, and for sound effects the engine is placed next to my right ear. What'd ya say?

Isn't this just super, I bought some on-line time in the clouds--a little entertainment to pass the flight time. 'Cause you know I haven't had enough entertainment in the past week, hehehe. I am slightly overwrought with emotion as this-is- it. Band consuming our home ended there on Colorado Blvd in Pasadena, California. What an ending! But we'll get to the parade later.

I had the best time hanging with 208 fabulously crazy teenagers and most of the 26 adults. I learned sleep is for the weak; totally overrated and "fluffy eggs" grow old after two days, that fruit is tastier in California, that my amusement park pals included the twelfth grade principal and that I am pretty darn good at nursing girls who puke and crap their pants all night. I have never laughed so much or so hard at things that really are hardly funny and the band sounds better when they play their instruments in California.

Because I am much to tired to think proper grammer and puncuation...I leave you with a tease of what is to come. Or not since pictures don't seem to want to post when you are floating in the sky.

Till later....

I'm Leaving On A Jet Plane

2010-12-27T08:12:00.003-06:00

That's right friends, I am leaving you all here in this snowy tundra and heading to the land of sunshine and green pastures--Pasadena, California.

Bet though you are wondering how the Keeper Christmas was? So I'll share...photo style.

We baked...

lots of cookies...

then we got all dressed up for Jesus' birthday and went to church...

then came home for a yummy dinner with family...

where we were warm inside,

the snow fell outside

while we sang "dreaming of a white Christmas" ...

and Princess A's sailor boy came with his day long hiccups;

we tried every remedy to cure them...

(Didn't really think I was going to show off his good looks and tell stories of him? Nope not yet!)

then in the night Santa came...

he stuffed the stockings too...

we gathered with more family where things got crazy...

all that fun is why I love my family!

Now if you will excuse me I have a few things to pack in my carry-on bag...

something tells me I'm in need of my sunglasses in California.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

2010-12-25T00:12:00.000-06:00

The reason for the season.

I have survived the stresses and the babe in the manger is the reason.

May your day be as blessed as our family's will be.

Merry White Christmas!

Toss the Life Preserver

2010-12-21T11:14:00.000-06:00

Don't mind me, the auto inflatable PFD vest I'm wearing under my apron is merely a safety precaution. I feel like I'm starting to drown...okay, sinking a little. I have so much to do. Still. And. I need to beat the weather to get it all done.

I don't anticipate any fire alarms, but just in case, I have my fire extinguisher close at hand. The whistle is clinched between my teeth in case I need to summons the emergency response team--aka sleeping till noon teenagers.

I think I will catch my breath when everyone gathers around the dining room table Christmas Eve for a feast of holiday cheer. While they will be thinking meat, I'll be thinking something stiff on the rocks.

Or. Say. This.

Santa Hat Martini
1 part Malibu Rum

3 parts cranberry juice
grenadine for extra red color
dip rim of martini glass in powdered sugar/water solution
then roll glass in coconut
add mini candy cane to glass

Straight Jacket Needed

2010-12-20T14:24:00.000-06:00

I am beginning to

TOTALLY FREAK OUT

with holiday and Tournament of Roses obligation anxiety!

That's all I have to say today.

THE BIG RACE

2010-12-18T23:01:00.004-06:00

We all were in training, pumping the muscle--fist to mouth with loads of sugared candy treats ~~all week~~ all day. It's how Santa prepares to pull his sleigh...that jolly ole' elf knows a few things about speed so we took our pointers from him. The big race was both exciting and sad; as it was the final Truman Reindeer Relay (next year Truman returns to a middle school). To get the teams all reved up we were sung by a chorus of 860 screaming, ear drum piercing, joyful kids with this song:

The best team of course, without a doubt, was the Vixens. We stand to correct anyone who dares to challenge the claim. Whatever it is you may hear on the streets we were not cheaters. We played fair and by the rules ~~our own rules,~~ collecting only one "present" at a time. The bag of coal we received for a prize was undoubtedly a prize of jealousy. Look at us, who wouldn't feel threatened, we exude that vixen spirit and a ton of athleticism.

Now I know all you smarty pants out there are saying hey a vixen is a female fox so how did you get stuck with a dude on a team titled for the hot and luscious reindeer type? Well, let me teach you a little something about having a trick up the ole' sleeve...a male fox is called a dog and that Vice Principal not only dons the elf costume like no one else can but he can run that wood floor gym like an Alaskan Malamute. Besides being a "fox" knows no gender. Wink, wink.

And so I present to you the highlights in a photographic story line.

The whistle blew and they were off...

then I lost balance on the shotty scooter they try to pass off as a Santa sleigh...

Dr. Todd the VP and Vixen Rachel show the rest of the reindeers
how to style while racing--

elf suit for one and Coach furry boats for another...

Vixen Barb and I take a second run on the course

to collect just ~~three~~ one of Santa's gifts...

anyone have a rubber chicken on their Christmas list?

Some crazy third and fourth grade teachers, who shall remain unnamed Jane and Teri

will need to get an eye exam over the holidays...or quit playing favorites with the lists.

Listing me first on this ridiculous display of envy is a big old pile of reindeer poop!...

what kind of relay requires walking not running?

The bag of coal wasn't even worth photographing.

Scribes of the list I warn...don't close your eyes or turn your backs,

you never know who might be behind you.

Santa Claus!

Checking his list.

Checking it twice.

Gonna find the two who are naughty not nice.

Commencing with a 16 day break. Aaaaahhh!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Days till Christmas: 7

Days till we leave for the Tournament of Roses: 9

Days till I start freaking out on all I have left to do for Christmas: 0

Another Adult In The House, So Light the Candles

2010-12-17T02:50:00.000-06:00

Why can't Keeper sleep?
A. She is excited for the big race
B. King Ralph turned on his side of bed heater and is cooking Keeper to death
C. The anniversary of giving birth to M has her mind stirring with memories
D. All of the above

I'm gonna go with answer "D".

Answer "C" is probably really up there! Totally up there!! This isn't any birthday, it's M's 18th birthday. The year where she is granted privileges by law that will allow any of us to holler out hey M pick up a few lottery tickets on the way home tonight. Or, hey M pick up so and so a pack of smokes on the way over tonight. Even better, hey M pick up the latest issue of Playboy--so and so likes it, really, for the articles. Oh course we all know the chance of M ~~being allowed to~~ picking anything up other than a lottery ticket for someone is slim to NONE!

More importantly turning 18 means M has the right to vote...even join the military (to bad she keeps turning down all those military recruiter calls).

Some how though, even being 18 and having had the privilege to watch her grow into a beautiful confident young lady...I still see the lovable little brown haired brown eyed girl who when asked "where are your glasses?" would shrug her tiny shoulders and reply "I nun no" (the joys of having spectacles at 18 months).

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY MADISON PHYLLIS

XOXO

In Training

2010-12-16T10:05:00.000-06:00

They gave us the day off school today, they say it is because of the thin layer of ice that is covering the roads. However, I think, it's because they wanted me to get in some last minute hard core training before tomorrow's big race.

So excuse me for not blogging more but I have aerobic exercise to get happening.

See you sometime tomorrow...it may be late since I am sure there will be a celebration to honor the winners.

Another 15 Seconds of Fame

2010-12-14T22:02:00.002-06:00

In case you are wondering what is going on around our castle...we met the sailor last night, he came for dinner. Oops did I say that? I did. I guess in time I will divulge more. Not just yet. But, here's what I really came to say is happening around the castle...or when M leaves the castle for the day.

To my pal who can give me the exact mark on the timer where you can see M spinning her flag--I'll buy a coffee or hot cocoa at Starbuck's.

The Joy Of Giving Is Expecting Nothing Back In Return.

2010-12-11T22:58:00.000-06:00

I was an elf this morning. In the briefness of my elfhood I was privileged to witness a few Christmas miracles. The occasions of anonymity I saw humans who were humbled and awe struck with gratitude. As difficult as it is to see people who never before have been in a state of needed help; it is spirit filling at this season of Christmas that lessons of sharing and caring present. Cars filled to the brim, some needing to make several trips to transport all the collected goods. It warms the soul. Fills the heart.

Adopt-a-Family.

There is always that one. The mom who not long ago told their child that Christmas would not grace the home this year. When presented with a bag of wrapped gifts, a second bag heaped with the treats for a perfect Christmas stocking, an envelope with gift cards, along with a few other neccessaries....   That one receiver who is thankful to tears. Whose gratitude hardly needs words because it is seen in the eyes and is the one who cannot stop saying "thank you".

It's that one that makes the job--worth it!

So when I made a quick run to Walgreens, the wind whipping and the air with its frigid bite...I scrapped every last bit of loose change from the bottom of my purse dropping it in the red kettle. I usually grab whatever change I can, no digging, just a fast grab. Tonight though I decided with my heart filled with the day's memory that I couldn't just make it a fast grab. Sometimes...

The joy of giving is expecting nothing back in return.

There Is A Miracle on 34th Street

2010-12-08T21:43:00.004-06:00

It happens every year. Every year I dread it. The dreaded question. It isn't so much the question I dread it is the fact that others can't ssshhhh, keep there mouths closed. I sort of understand when it happens with fifth graders...but second graders...it breaks my heart.

Here's my true story

Mrs. Avery is waved over to the lunch table

Second Grader #1: Ask her, go head and ask her.

Me: Ask me what?

Second Grader #2: Mrs Avery, is Santa real?

Me: Yes, most definitely, he is real!

Second Grader #3: Do you believe?

Me: Of course I believe. Every year I wake up and under my tree are lots of presents.

Second Grader #1: See I told. Tommy (name changed to protect identity) was wrong. He told us Santa isn't real.

Second Grader #2: See guys out of 179 people 1 does not believe.

Me: No boys more like 1 in a 1,000,000,000 do not believe. But I BELIEVE!

Then Mrs. Avery corners the lad who is breaking spirits and stomping on the magic of Christmas

Me: Tommy. Whatever your feelings are about Christmas you need to keep them to yourself. Do you understand what I am saying? We aren't going to talk Christmas feelings at lunch.

Tommmy looks up in a sheepish style.

Me: Okay Tommy?

Tommy: Yes.

The little turd knew exactly what I was talking about.

Of course it happened again, the next day, at fifth grade lunch. This time I was sitting at the table across from the kid who was in the mood be a spirit killer. I gave him a kick under the table to hush him. Even though he tried again to profess his knowledge that Santa does not exist, another lad swore he had proof on video of the jolly ole' elf in his red "costume" --to which I proclaimed it to be a "uniform"-- he was prepared to present as proof.

So to all these nay sayers I say this...it too is a true story:

"DEAR EDITOR: I am 8 years old.
"Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus.
"Papa says, 'If you see it in THE SUN it's so.'
"Please tell me the truth; is there a Santa Claus?

"VIRGINIA O'HANLON.
"115 WEST NINETY-FIFTH STREET."

VIRGINIA, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except [what] they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men's or children's, are little. In this great universe of ours man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, VIRGINIA, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus. It would be as dreary as if there were no VIRGINIAS. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies! You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas Eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if they did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

You may tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, VIRGINIA, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.

No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Christmas Countdown: 16 Days

Till my suitcase has to be placed

on a truck bound for Pasadena: 14 Days

Take Off to the Tournament of Roses: 18 Days

(I may be nearly naked for 4 days,

but we'll talk about that on the 22nd)

Illuminate

2010-12-07T22:26:00.002-06:00

Who decorates your house?

Okay, that is a silly question for me, because when I'm talking about decorating inside our abode an all-women affair. At Keeper's Castle King Ralph just sits and trys to direct from his La-Z-Boy thrown. In our 24 years he still hasn't learned no one cares what he thinks when it comes to holiday decorating... all we care is that he drags the beastly tree from the basement to the upstairs.

I think if I left the decorating and tree up to King Ralph we might end up with something that looks like this.

In case you have a bubba of a hubby who wants to

spend his free time constructing this beauty--

I offer you these instructions.

Now you want to know who decorates the outside of the castle?

That's not a silly question.

Our slaves.

I mean the children.

We're aiming to raise independant women.
Clean the gutters while you're up there.
And they did!

That's Princess A in the babooshka acting like King Ralph-- directing from the background.

But don't you worry M doesn't take any of that older sister bossy crap.

D just stays grounded and feeds the strands up to the roof.

Now like I've said before-- whoever doesn't believe in child labor hasn't had kids.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Christmas Countdown: 17 Days

Take off to the Tournament of Roses : 19 Days

Mondo Meat Pie

2010-12-06T22:09:00.001-06:00

My little brother and I made plans to do a bit of Christmas shopping together. He needs my help when shopping for his three stylish nieces. We decided tonight was a good night to order that BIG pizza he has been dying to order. When he picked up the BIG pizza, the pizza guy wanted to know what he was driving. The BIG pizza would not fit in a Smart car, or even a Ford Focus...this bad boy needed the bed of a truck. It also comes out the back door, it won't fit through the front door.

D put her hand in the picture so you can get a feel for the thirty inches of brick oven pizza-deliciousness. This bad boy did not come sliced. It was a work out slicing the half sausage half everything pizza. It induces song.

When the moon hits you eye like a big pizza pie
That's amore
When the world seems to shine like you've had too much wine
That's amore
Bells will ring ting-a-ling-a-ling, ting-a-ling-a-ling
And you'll sing "Vita bella"
Hearts will play tippy-tippy-tay, tippy-tippy-tay
Like a gay tarantella

No one was a gay tarantella. No happy dancers instead...

BEWARE--a pizza this size causes gas.
Not in women but in forty year old brothers.First brother dropped his bomb in my beautiful new truck, in which the windows needed to be rolled down to let the 20* frigid air purge the cabin. Then while I was digging for my keys on a mall bench I was left in a cloud of toxic fumes as a giggly brother left me suffocating as old men where dropping to the floor right in front of me. So beware when ordering a fifty pound pizza. Why is it men have no problem cutting the cheese in public? Not to mention think it is funny?

Once I got my oxygen levels restored we headed to Target: the momdom of shopping mecas,where I purchased these holiday delights for myself.

It is a puppet show on my feet. I perform Santa Claus is Coming to Town and Jolly Old St. Nicholas. You know who doesn't like my Kris Kringle feet? The dog! Uli went on the attack. Then Santa scolded Uli and reminded her who brings her giant meaty treat on December 25--she backed off.

Okay my Santa feet are scurrying to the medicine cabinet for a couple of Tums to calm the effects of the BIG pizza pie and call it a night.

The Great Wiener Trade

2010-12-05T12:09:00.001-06:00

As I approached the doors of the ticket area of the theater I saw one of M's besties hard at work collecting the canned goods. She waved to me through the window. I waved back. Then I flung open the door and dropped my box flat on the table, "TWENTY FIVE CANS OF WIENERS" I exclaimed. M's bestie laughed at me. She knows I am crazy. "Anyone else bring in wieners?" I asked. "No" she replied. "Well my wieners will go good with someones corn" and the bestie just laughs at me again. You know the word wieners makes for laughter. Wieners. See you're laughing aren't you? Wieners. I think I just might like saying that darn word.

Friends, there is nothing like Vienna Sausages from Aldi's at .37 a can. Mmmmmm processed meat rolls in life preserving liquid. Yum-yum, not. GROSS! But like King Ralph said, the wieners will go best with a can of pork-n-beans. Beans-n-wienies, a meal full of protein...a protein packed food bank jackpot. Turns out that by the time our movie ended and I checked with the bestie to see if any other canned wieners had been donated--we were the only wiener donors for the day. Great minds sometimes think alone.

Now what did those twenty five cans of wieners get us? Four tickets to see this great movie:

127 Hours is worth the see! A movie that really gets you thinking. Thinking about what you may not realize you are capable of when in a situation. It also made me to turn to M as we exited the theater to say that all the stuff we double up on or think is ridiculous that King Ralph insists we pack in our backpacks when we hike...well that stuff doesn't seem all that silly after watching this movie. Although we aren't out hiking alone, we have certainly hiked in remote areas where passing a fellow hiker is far and few between.

Princess A had the pleasure of hearing Aron Ralston speak at Southeast Missouri State last year when she was attending the university. She said of all the lectures she attended, Aron Ralston's was the best. His story was gripping even from behind the podium. To bad she had a Saturday afternoon exam and didn't get to enjoy the Cans Food Festival with us.

So I encourage you to smuggle your Diet Coke and peanut M&M's in your purse--just like me--and hop on over to your local theater. (We'll talk about the popcorn heist another day.)

Tomorrow I am attending the...

2010-12-03T17:44:00.001-06:00

Tonight, however, I am going on a
dinner date with King Ralph.

For Dessert Pumpkin Pie With Whipped Cream. But First...

2010-11-26T02:19:00.007-06:00

There is nothing like an early start to Thanksgiving--530am.

A start that did not summons to stuff a turkey bird in the oven...

instead to dress girls in uniforms for a parade down St. Louis' Market Street.

The one and only time I have been to the Thanksgiving Day "Christmas in St. Louis" parade was in 2004 when Princess A marched. Back in 2004 it was beautiful day.

In 2010 it will be remembered as a dreary-cold-windy-rainy day.

And the band marches on.

No one complains as we watch our favorite band take to the pavement--

where they placed fourth in the competition
with the bonus of outstanding drum major and percussion.

Well M did moan a tad about how hard holding a flag pole can be

as the wind attempts to take it sailing from her hands.

She fought back and kept a hold.

For just a little while the weather calmed and we were all smiles watching

There is only one other person in the world who would enjoy watching the popper scoopers in the parade more than me and my pal Terri...and that's Nellie.

I wonder how one gets this prestigious job?
Do you volunteer?
Are you appointed?
Maybe it's a punishment for being a crappy (no pun intended) employee...
or are those criminals serving community service--those are the police mounty.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like a good shovel and a 1.5 mile walk whiffing horse dung.
Try being placed next to those guys at dinner--no thank you!

Where else in the world can you go to see Clifford the Big Red Dog all stretched out in a sexy center fold pose looking more like a wiener dog than a bloodhound?
I'm guessing no where!
Only in St. Louis.

Thirsty for some hot chocolate?
There was this kid whose parents made him dress like a penguin and a bill board peddling beverage ~~screaming no figgy pudding for you till you sell the hot cocoa~~.

Ha kid we have our own hot chocolate--and it's spiked.

Next time you go grocery shopping you may want to consider this cart as an option.

As the balloons began to mimic in the rain and wind an episode of Sanford and Son, with an echo of Fred saying "it's the big one" as they were going down--we decided to bolt.

I know you are thinking before Santa's appearance and the snow?

But bolt we did!

Got all cleaned up and looking good...

where we went over the river and through the woods [and snow]--literally.

For this:

Aaaahhhh the proverbial turkey shot.

Now that I have paid homage to the turkey.

It's time to begin the next season:

Commencing with tuning the radio to constant Christmas tunes.

Horn of Plenty

2010-11-25T05:30:00.010-06:00

Usually I spend the weekend and the weekdays prior to Thanksgiving stressed as I scribble and scratch my menu and grocery list. Shop and beat folks down the isles and around the turkey case, as the perfect bird is lifted to the cart. I unearth special dishes and polish the tarish off the silverware. I set the table. Arrange the vases with a mix of Fall flowers. I chop, mix, brine and bake. The house fills with the aroma only Thanksgiving offers up--nutmeg, sage, thyme, rosemary....

Except this year.

This year King Ralph's cousin and his wife decided they wanted a turn at hosting the family feast. Who was I to arrgue the offer. As much as I am finding a measure of relief from the always welcomed stress that hosting can be--it seems I am beginning to miss that stress. I love stretching the table from one end of the Great room to the other while collecting every dining chair I can rummage up in the house. Filling the house with aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, gorging on a feast of foods and laughing through a night of games...aaaaahhhh horn of plenty.

Keeper's castle kitchen is silenced this year. The oven is cool. Still my horn of plenty runneth over. And. So. I present, the annual list of thanks. My list can be rearranged in order of listing with the exception of one and two.

1. God
2. Family
3. Dog
4. Friends
5. Laughter
6. Job
7. Medial insurance
8. Health
9. My new truck
10. fresh laundry
11. tears of joy
12. tears of pride
13. football games
14. marching bands
15. a good movie
16. sunny days on the playground
17. mountain hikes
18. campfires
19. classic rock music
20. a good pillow
21. bandwiches
22. parades
23. trivia nights
24. ice cream
25. Milky Ways
26. Flip Video camera
27. a new razor to shave my legs
28. shampoo in my shower
29. toilet paper on the roller
30. TIVO and DVR
31. Glee
32. show choir
33. neighbors
34. new rental neighbors who mow the lawn
35. pumpkin pie
36. good books
37. Tostita Roasted Garlic and Black Bean chips
38. Rack-o
39. Yahtzee
40. clean sheets
41. ice water w/ a slice of lemon
42. Snuggle bamboo silk and blue iris fabric softner
43. my laptop
44. my camera
45. skin kissed by the sun
46. menstral cycle free months
47. hair color
48. Cardinal baseball
49. Project Runway
50. Prop L passing
51. Good doctors
52. teachers who teach with passion
53. motorcycle rides with the spousal unit
54. raked yard
55. drive-in movie gatherings
56. flip flops
57. good choices teenagers make
58. vacations in the camper
59. power naps

And the list goes on and on....

I hope your horn of plenty is as plentiful a harvest as mine.

Now if you don't mind I have a parade to get to, so I can burrrrrr freeze my turkey tail off watching.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

On The Eve of Thanks

2010-11-24T21:41:00.000-06:00

I just worshipped with my daughters tonight...it was the best service at church in a long while. We worshipped with two other churches of different denominations. Such a presence of thankfulness in a shared God instead of division by chosen faith practice. The sermon reminded us all "to be thankful for what is". I am thankful! So while I take the time to list the things big and small that offer and bring blessing a plenty--I leave you with this tune to inspire you as you make your list...or reflect upon.

A Family That Lives Together Works Together

2010-11-22T15:06:00.001-06:00

Or is it that I should I title this entry as...

The unearthing of a mine field of dog crap.

Or.

It's fun to watch D dry heave while carrying a sack of crap as big as Santa's satchel

Or.

Uli is a genius dog who was cultivating a fertilizer company.

Or.

The dog track is open--clear and free of leaves.

Or.

Whoever said child labor is wrong never had children of their own.

Or.

Or is it... Glad those new rental neighbors ~~are better than the old ones and~~ rake their leaves.

Or.

That girl can work a gas powered machine.

I think we are going to stick with the original. A FAMILY THAT LIVES TOGETHER WORKS TOGETHER and laughs while doing the evil chore of Fall--raking the yard.

Coming To A Mailbox Near You

2010-11-21T10:52:00.000-06:00

Me: Hey King Ralph, we snapped a few Christmas card photos today. Wanna see?

KR: Sure.

Me: There's these, pretty girls....

KR: Oh I like.

Me: and these, silly girls. The girls want silly girls on the card.

KR: I don't like.

Me: To bad dude!

Really since when does the only man in the house get any say in how to create the Christmas cards--NEVER! Now if he aggravated himself with years of moans from girls about how to fix hair and what to wear...if he ordered the cards, addressed and stamped the seventy-five cards, fought the post office parking lot to mail'em all...well, then, maybe. But still, probably not.

I toiled between which silly photo to use.

This craziness was a close contender.

I thought folks might think that snarly beast in the middle, known as Princess A

riped D's hands off leaving her with just wrists.

I wonder if you can guess who in trio plays the jester at home?

In the end I decided to go with the original crazy shot.

Because gosh damnit I want to be real this year.

Showing off their beauty and brains.

Which shows the brains are a lil' crazed.

Here you have it: finished product.

The only thing that could have made the card even better is if the doghter

would have paused from her backyard lap race to join in the fun.

Oh well, maybe next year.

Enough with Christmas...it's time to show a bit of respect to the turkey this week.

HAIL TO THE TURKEY! May he be pardoned only to my table [and plate] on Thursday.

This Just Might End Up On The Christmas Card

2010-11-20T15:27:00.000-06:00

Because aren't cards suppose to say-- hey friends this is how life in our house is?

Instead of presenting life with two teens and a twenty year old as all: calm and serene.

Truth is--I love life in photo number one.

It's never boring, that's for sure!

I wouldn't have it any other way!!