Thursday, March 19, 2015

Spring Break Part Two: Mouse Trouble

We have mouse troubles.  Twenty years ago we had a mouse in our house and we won that war. So when we found clues in our pantry that we had a mouse in the house, after I pitched everything I thought a mouse had touched, and I bleached the shit out of the space, we went in war mode.  King Ralph devised our war plan--four traps with a taste of peanut butter and a temporary thresh hold thick enough to fill the gap at the base of the pantry door (a road block of sorts).

It was Monday night around 10pm, I had just crawled into bed, when I heard King Ralph calling my name from the kitchen.  Score!  People we have a mouse.

To be on the proactive side King Ralph reset trap one and left traps two through four in place. Because where there is one mouse, there is usually another.

It was 3am when suddenly our smoke detector starting talking to us, "your battery power is low." Really?!  Could this life saving device not have considered talking to us, say at 9pm?  King Ralph got up to tend to the battery need, when he told me he had got up earlier in the night and found two more trapped mice.  He reset the traps.  After searching for a battery he returned to the bedroom proclaiming a fourth mouse had been caught.  At this point I am freaking out.  Four mice in my house.  FOUR! It is at this point that I'm about four five seconds from wild in'! We tried settling ourselves back to sleep when at 4:12am I hear slap, snap...yep mouse five was trapped.  Twelve minutes later, slap, snap, mouse six.  I babbling to the dead mice, from my bedroom, "I'm out of gold fish crackers you bastards, you ate'm all."

Morning broke and King Ralph, cop by day, was now a mouse wrangler by night.  A title he wore proudly.  Like any good mouse wrangler would do he procured a bag of "TomKat" mouse poison. He slipped the tasty sticks under the sink's cabinet kick boards--he was in it to win it. (I do believe there was a section in our marriage vows that said "do you promise to allow King Ralph to tend to all mouse troubles, do you promise to allow him to set the traps and discard of the mouse...because I sure as hell was not about to touch those devilish rodents!)

Wednesday we left for church and King Ralph set a single trap, you know, just in case.  After church we went to the movies to see Cinderella (King Ralph was thrilled. NOT!) and when we returned there was a mouse in the trap. Mouse seven.  SEVEN.  SEVEN FREAKING MICE IN MY HOUSE.  My house is clean.  Can't these rodents scurry off to the dirty house in the neighborhood?

I am happy to say we had a mouse free night.  The mice either are experiencing a dehydrating death of yummy TomKat treats or they got the idea that their army is decreasing and the mouse wrangler is winning, sending them scurrying off to another abode in the hood.

Either way, King Ralph the mouse wrangler claims victory!    

Monday, March 16, 2015

Break Week Part One

Before my summer hall pass, comes my spring break pass. There is an unmeasurable amount pleasure in an alarm clock free week in March.  

The break started out with the most amazing weather; it has since taken a nose dive--but looks to be returning to that sun filled sky come Friday. 

Last weekend was spent outside on the deck. We all pulled ourselves inside for two reasons: 
1. Saturday evening at the theater...phenomenal! 
Can I just add that the parking garage attendants did not appreciate our girl quartet rendition of "All That I Am", as we paid to park. Clearly they do not fully understand how to embrace the "little-non-Broadway" folk of our fine (or not so fine these days) city. But we ripped it up! 

2. When the sun went down

Sunday we hung out on the deck with our favorite house guest: our nephew/cousin, the AF pilot. Princess A and D whipped up some homemade roasted garlic humus and fresh salsa. We sipped stouts and grapefruit martinis and played UNO. Then we grilled meats and veggies. We talked the nephew's city living dwelling options vs. the burbs. 

Monday was my quarterly coffee date with a good friend. And yes, coffee lasts no less than four hours. The sun was shining big and bright, so I took to the deck.  That was disturbed by the evidence of a mouse in the house. 

To be continued....

Monday, March 09, 2015

Shitty To The Third Degree

I basically had a shitty work last week; did 48% of a month's work in four and a half days.  I was losing faith in humanity. Then I began to feel like shit, and why not, because what goes around, comes around. It's been going around!   All my dreams of a Friday night and a well deserved glass of red wine were transformed into just wanting to come home and crawl in my bed and be sick. But noooooo. Instead I came home to this shit

A sewer back up. Uhg!!!!

It was a Friday night of sludge, shit and filthy language. Because when the culprit of the clog revealed itself, King Ralph had some choice words--for the four ladies in his life.  (I leave to figure the cause of the clog.)

Saturday allowed me a fifteen hour nap. It's exactly what I needed! I was able to soak a few rays of sunshine--nature's best medicine. 

By Sunday I was feeling much-much better. The weather was so beautiful. In one weeks time I went from snow boots to sandals 

 As I lay here waiting for the dreaded alarm clock to summon me from the comfort of my bed and back to work...I tell myself I can do this!  The reason. Next week is: spring break. Yippee!