Monday, March 31, 2008

How many in your party?

If someone was to ask that question today I would say three adults two children.

At 6:18am you came into this world, ever so tender, tiny and sweet; they placed you in my arms. A princess was born. I found a new kind of love. Your entrance into this world was the first and last time I saw your daddy cry. It was so long ago yet seems like yesterday.

Today you are an adult--eighteen years old.

Just a reminder of the list of privileges you named off last night:

1. can buy a lottery ticket (here's a dollar get a quick pick)
2. can buy rubber cement (your projects will hold together so much better)
3. can buy cigarettes (pick a pack up for your Funcle Dan this summer)
4. no question your crimes are punishable as an adult (so don't get in trouble)
5. can buy porn (so what's it gonna be Playboy or Playgirl)
6. You can vote (remember always, your vote matters, so cast it)

I am sure there are so many more privileges that come with being adult, we'll let you explore those on your own. Do always know, no matter how grown you are you will always be my baby girl. Love you!

Happy 18th Birthday Princess A!

Sunday, March 30, 2008


The best part of a long car ride is this:

...the girls laughing.

Another good part of the long car ride home was this:

...finding my Michigan planted sister and her family in Nashville.

Now we're home and the mess I left and the mess we drug in from the car is spreading like a cancer. Immediate treatment is the plan of action.

Friday, March 28, 2008

Sun & Sand

We are stretched out in a nice hotel room after a traffic jammed, slow moving day on the highway. The sun burns that color us all are easing--at least a bit.

We ended our day at the Islander with a sight rarely experienced...M, D and I shared an elevator a hotel guest like none other--Hank. Hank is a pig. Yes, I said a p-i-g, PIG. Hank is afraid of elevators so he squealed like...well, like a scared pig. He got off on the lobby floor (squealing) to go out and relieve himself. It wasn't long before the hotel security staff and the manager decided a squealing, elevator fearful pig was not a welcome guest. The kids said a Latino woman got off the elevator and whispered under her breath, "Jesus Christ". It was a moment I wish I had had my camera handy--I didn't; sharing an elevator with a pig.

So now enjoy a few favorite snap shots.
A day on the beach with my girls--a good day.

Father & Daughters

Mother & Daughters

The King and his queen

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Tropical Thursday, Girls Gone Wild

It is most certainly a beautiful beach weather day-- sun is shining, the sky is blue for miles, the waves in the ocean move forward with just the right amount of white cap …why shouldn’t it be; here at The Islander it is “Tropical Thursday”. Three dollar mai tais for all with cash. (Fear not I have a bottle of Smirnoff Vodka and a jug of Crystal Light for a mixer.)

Yesterday’s Wild Wednesday with its $5 strawberry daiquiris—well I needed to be in a total state of Amy Winehouse in order to accept King Ralph’s mistake of booking a prepaid room in DAYTONA Beach Shores instead of his intended booking at The Islander in New Smyrna Beach. Simple oversight, right? Maybe far as we girls are concerned. Oh God be with me while we vacation here, thankfully only for two days, in this nasty-of-nastiest beach front hotel on earth. To relieve my fear of virus I brought in the can of Lysol from the car and sprayed the beds before slumbering (you can sense the beds have a few hard ridden miles on them). College kids dig this place for some reason—maybe it is the themed days at the pool side Tiki Bar. Bonus—I must be a Stifler's mom because last I got invited, along with Princess A, to a room party. Whoaaa-hooo, I must still possess the presence of hot- fun- girl…and, although a few of these kids would benefit from a good reading from the Bible I keep in car—I suggested to one young lad if he remained intoxicated his entire trip he would begin to think he was actually staying in a nice hotel. So Princess A made this for me in the sand….

Really in the end what matters most is that (I stay out of the room and on the beach) we are laughing, singing our favorite greatest hits and turning our albacore tuna colored skin to a nice Native American tone.

…and so I say life in Daytona is good. Girls Gone Wild here we come. Now wouldn’t this make Grandma’s day? I bet it would! Three cheers to Spring Break 2008.
* tomorrow I will post some beach beauty pics for your enjoyment

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

A Few Snapshots

Just a few typical,cheesy, got-to-take Orlando tourist snapshots...cause it wouldn't be a trip without them. Since these days cheesy is refreshing....

...we made them pose with Jaws.

The next day the girls insisted the parents get cheesy too. Oooooo Jaws attack, scary.

What's a theme park without a character pic... besides, everyone loves Curious George.

Calling you "King Ralph" is a joke and now that we can read your thoughts we girls now know your thinkng it.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Jelly Beans & Church Crashing

Greeting and Happy Easter from our temporary home-- the sunshine state and the Holiday Inn Suites.

In my somewhat attempt to mimic my years past masquerade as the Easter Bunny--I tossed on the counter of the hotel room kitchenette bags of M&M's, Snicker Eggs, Peeps (because what is Easter without a peep) and Jelly Beans. Not a single thing arranged beautifully in pastel colored baskets with bows, just hole bags of goodness. Thank God the girls are all teens and it didn't matter to them that there weren't dyed eggs and basket hide and seek--what mattered is that we aren't in Saint Louis where the weather is in the thirties with snow flurries and flooded rivers surround.

To keep in good with tradition King Ralph convinced us all that we needed to find a church and worship on the holiest holy of Christian holidays. We did just that. It was most adorable church-- quaint and small-- with Easter egg colored stain glass windows; but filled with church crashers galore. We were asked to sport name tags that not only announced our name but where we originate from. We shared pew with folk from Ohio, California, Minneapolis, etc. It was a fulfilling experience in a house of worship ever so welcoming.

Then we came back to our hotel changed from our spring dresses and headed to Universal Studios. Nothing is better than gnawing on jelly beans while waiting in line to ride "Jaws".

Which brings me to this....

Dear Man in Front Of Us in Line-
You must have turned your Easter eggs into egg salad before you entered the park. You know what makes me think this? Well the fact that you had to blow your intestines clean while in line may have been an indicator. You think you are a ventriloquist farter but you aren't; we sniffed you out. You not only gassed us out once but twice.UNACCEPTABLE! The poor lads in front of you had to take there T-shirts to cover there noses in an effort to preserve what little bit of clean air you left for your fellow mans to breath. I think King Ralph's advice to you was perfect--get yourself to a bathroom. I certainly hope you were able to read his mind and took the King's advice.

When we left the park we headed out for a steak dinner.

Then we called my mother-in-law who inquired to Princess A if she would be able to get on TV for a debut on Girls Gone Wild. She did say to her "maybe that isn't a good idea with your parents along". Oh brother, my mother-in-law gets funnier and funnier with age. A little FYI Grandma-- Girls Gone Wild doesn't film in Orlando. Not to mention, silly Grandma, Girls Gone Wild isn't for Princess!

Once again, Happy Easter!

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Totally Freaking Stressed!

I am stressed beyond words. I sit here in my robe with wet hair...I leave for work in 40 minutes, aaaaaaahhhhhhh! I have the car almost packed and what I forget, well, I will forget and have to learn to live with it. My house is being left a mess. Who cares I say to myself the mess will still be here when I return. I will apologize to the dog sitter for its appearance when I return.

The bright spot in my day is that I won the "It's My Day" contest over at Manic Mom's blog. My prize is a fabulous and fun T-shirt. I will tell all about it when I model the T-shirt, here, and soon (I hope).

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

It's Official


I think at this point I would be better to take the family on a vacation to a nudist resort--as I have not packed a stitch of clothes for a trip we leave on tomorrow.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

My Name is Jodi and I am a Laundryaholic

I think of myself more as a binge laundress. I don't launder often but when I do I really go at it.

If I don't come out from the laundry by Thursday (with packed suitcases) send someone in to get me, throw my *&# in the car and send it to Florida.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Pictures of the Week

"Puppy Love" by Princess A

"There is Always Light at the End of Every Tunnel" by Princess A

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Vitaman B

I was desperately in need of a dose of vitamin B. Thank God that the sun shone so yesterday infusing my body--making it a most magnificent day.

Although today won't be quite as glorious--my eight hours of sleep and the impending 60* has me feeling so good I don't believe I will be looking at the calender counting the days till I reach the Florida sun.

Friday, March 07, 2008

Those With Low Self-Esteem Need Not Apply For Job

Someone with low self esteem may not survive working in an elementary school...good thing my self esteem is in check.

Today a little fellow said to me, "Mrs. Avery you haven't told us everything about you." I replied, "like what?" He said "like that you smoke", "I don't smoke" I said. To which he replied "then why do you have wrinkles around your eyes". I smiled at him and chuckled and said "because I am old."

When I got back into in the office and told my co-workers what the little fellow said to me--one of the girls said "well then don't let him see me!"

I still sit here chuckling to myself at how honest--no holding back, little kids are. Now I am debating between a new face cream or testing out reserve osmosis by starting to smoke. Who knows maybe it would firm up my wrinkles. Which, by the way, I refer to as character lines.

Kids, you gotta love'm!

Thursday, March 06, 2008


The day after--sometimes makes up for that day before. Morning peace was restored. Not to say some hidden resentment doesn't still linger. Because it does. However I love when I am the mom who cannot be weakened from the punishment I dished out in the heated moment. I love when the girls know--this gal means business.

Yesterday in my need to regroup I found those diamond earrings I wanted to return starring me in the face, just screaming out, we can cheer you up. So, I, suppose I am keeping them. (the snob in me really wanted to return them because they aren't as big as the one I can I complain they are diamonds regardless.) Then I bought myself a Vera Wang tuxedo style shirt which is delicious. I am wearing it today with a pair of semi-sensible shoes.

I think on the way to work I will review our spring break road trip best of music selection--AC/DC. Nothing like a chorus of Big Balls to start of a Thursday morning.

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Topsy Turvy

I prefer my mornings to be calm, with realtive peacefulness. This morning-- total opposite!

So I will take a moment to meditate, pray, and calm the soul. Then tell myself its a phase, this too shall pass.

Its moments like this morning that I have to thank God I love my kid because there are moments when I just can't like her.

Parenting. The hardest job ever!

Monday, March 03, 2008


I need a ribbon tied on my finger with a know the universal symbol for "reminder".

What I need to remind myself that I need an ice scraper in my car. I know just because I stayed home raising my daughters for seventeen years is not a viable excuse for being ill prepared with the proper tools when inclement weather hits. Truth is when I stayed home, I did just that, stayed home. So there was no need for an ice scraper.

Today when I left work little mini van was blanketed in ice. Thank God for Jimmy Buffet--he saved the day. Although he must have been a little bit in Margaritaville since the CD case could not tackle the ice on the passenger side of the front wind shield. In this case I just hopped back in the car, cranked up the defrost and sang "cheeseburger in paradise, I like mine with lettuce and tomato, Heinz 57 and french fried potatoes...." Until the ice began to melt away.

Now...I have homework and, a lemon drop martini to drink. It came with my homework packet. I swear. You wonder why I love my job?