Wednesday, May 30, 2007

20 Years

I have woken to a light rain, the same weather that graced this day twenty years ago--my wedding day.
As 20 years is traditionally the year gifted of china--being that my china pattern is long ago retired, we don't possess passports for a trip to Hong Kong...there was the option of a lunch of Chinese take-out but, instead we opted for a twist on the gift giving...anything produced in the orient.

I gifted King Ralph with a new GPS (to which he chose the sexy lady to speak "make hard left"). Produced in Taiwan--it is a territory of China so it counts, right?

King Ralph gifted me with a new wide angle lens for my camera. Produced in Japan (I know not China but close, as the crow flys).

...and that my friends is as close to china as we can get. Creative.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

The Things Our Kids Believe

D just said to me "aren't you gonna be sad next year after Princess A graduates from HS. Where will she live?"

I answered "in our home still". To which she replies "well you once told me you were kicking us out when we turned 18."

I am most certain I was being humorous when I said that years back. For some reason my baby girl must have been, is in a panic about where it is she will have to live in 6 years.

Maybe I will offer her a for continued occupancy in the family home.

Sunday, May 27, 2007

My Liver Thanks You

While I had no knocks at my door or rings on my phone I took to the job solo, it was a tough act to accomplish but, I am mastering the task quite well, if I may say so. This is the point I am at you wish you would have knocked or called.

Friday, May 25, 2007

Calling my Lady Friends

I have had a bottle of Jose's beverage of choice chilling in my frig from when Julie and I planned to celebrate our favorite Mexican holiday--it is taking up precious milk space in the frig.

Since Julie and I have agreed we needed to turn Cinco de Mayo into Cinco de Julyo (the first time we will be in town at the same time),I need a little help drinking Jose's beverage of choice. Having no one in my house of age to help drain the bottle, here I sit sipping alone.

It is just past midnight, the beverage effects compounded with my already weary self has me crawling the floor to my bed with one eye shut. (Or is it one eye open?)

Lady friends, the weekend camping trip is canceled due to predicted heavy rains; so if you could drag your tails over here to partake in the emptying of the bottle I would much appreciate it!

Thursday, May 24, 2007

A Week for Maddi

The week started and ended on an M note.

First there was Sunday's Confirmation...
(which by all accounts was spiritually beautiful)

Then there was today's 8th Grade Recognition...

...where M was awarded a Certificate of Completion , President's Award for Educational Excellence, the Health Fitness Award, the National Physical Fitness Award, Outstanding Achievement in Social Studies, the Writing Award, the Avid Reader Award, Outstanding Member of the Band, Track Team and Beauty & Beast Crew.

Not to let M take all the spot light in the week...D was one of only 6 sixth graders in the choir to receive an Outstanding Musician Award at Wednesday evening's final concert of the year.

Princess A was kept with her nose in the books trying to devise a plan on how not to flunk her AP US History final exam.

As for me I am pouring myself a stiff drink (seriously, no joke) so I can absorb the idea of Princess A being considered now, a HS senior and M being considered a HS freshman...yikes!

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

A Lesson in Sex Ed

Here is a conversation D, age 12, had with me yesterday after school while relaxing on the couch after school.

D: did you know you can get pregnant in a hot tub.

J: really, and where did you hear this? And how exactly does it happen?

preparing myself to hear a smutty, rated-x story

D: at the slumber party, one of the girls told us

J: oh wow!...and tell me how does this happen?

D: a guy pees in the hot tub and then it can get in the woman

never mind the male content would boil to death before it reached the tunnel...okay please tell me that the sex ed talk I had with her the week before middle school started was in some way, in some part absorbed...please. please tell me she does not believe this

J: Aaaaahhhh babe you know we talked about know it takes sperm to get pregnant and you know it takes the man's (I used very anatomically correct terms) and a woman's (again used proper terminology) and there must me be....insertion.

You know I hate saying that word but I had to, I had to teach the lesson...the correct way.

(I again gave the sex ed talk in description so to make certain that my child doesn't think next time she is at a hotel pool she'll wind up pregnant)

and with that Princess A can be heard from the kitchen in a panic style tone

A: OH MY GOSH NO-NO-NO Aaaaaahhhhh PLEASE STOP I HATE THESE TALKS Aaaaaaahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

with that D rises from the couch extends her arm with her palm facing me, fingers stretched out wide moving backwards slowly from the couch

D: I know I know I heard this once before DON'T DON'T no more PLEASE PLEASE

inching ever slowly towards her bedroom till she reaches the door and says her last words

D: that's enough no more!!!

...and the door closes--slam!

My final thought was the girl who gave out this slumber party sex ed information well, she needs a mama to tell her some truthful facts. Or God help her.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Song Selection

The second stanza of the Mother's Day poem M wrote for me went like this...
I love the way you think you're cool dancing to This is why I'm Hot, I love the way we all know you're not. (I was in no way offended by this line but rather chuckled because, the girls just can't yet appreciate my greatness to dancing to a rap style song).

So imagine the pressure I must feel when I receive a wedding invitation and the response card asks to "please list your favorite dance tunes". What do I list? Something slow--being safe. Something with a slight beat; to move a bit yet not questioning my said lack of rhythm and talent. Or should I go with an all out Saturday Night Fever style song that will cause question as to why this freaky chick was invited to the celebration? Then I think, after the bride's parents have bought a few cocktails for the room, every one's dance selections could be in question.

Oh hell I am going to suggest an all-out-full-body-seizure style which one...accepting suggestions for my suggestion.

Sunday, May 13, 2007

The Gift a Mother Can Do Without

Silly me not to realize the terrier was bred to hunt vermin.

So today Uli, our beloved ever-dumb-unable-to-fetch-a-bone-Carin-Terrier-puppy-dog gifted me--on this Mother's Day with, a mouse. Yep a dead little gray mouse.

On the bright side I suppose you could say I won't have a mouse in the house.

So to all of you who weren't so lucky to get such a unique gift...Happy Mother's Day!

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Today I am bordering on the line of...

being the Wicked Witch of the West.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Field Trip and a Ball Game

I am just now finally sitting down at nearly 11pm, for the first time all day...I can hardly explain the level of exhaustion I am feeling, and question why the heck I am even bothering to blog.

I spent a great deal of my day here:

Where D & I, and the rest of the middle school's team 6C learned how to do this:

...and to think I was GS Leader of the Year and didn't know you could start a fire with steel wool and a 9-volt battery. (Just place a small amount of steel wool under some frayed jute rope, touch the 9-volt battery to the steel wool and automatic ignite.) I find this so very freaking fascinating I am going to be the official fire starter for all our family camping trips.

It would be a form of injustice if I didn't mention the school bus one over the age of 30 should be made to ride a school bus for more than 20 minutes. After the first 30 minutes of the 1.5 hour ride in the broke down, worn out bus seat--my ass HURT! But this guy made it worth the ride:

Honestly he was, despite his eclectic appearance, the best school bus driver ever...very safety conscience, a real stickler for making the children follow rules.

Then I rushed home where I chocked down food from a can, or in this case three cans, into the mouths and stomachs of my off spring while I showered my field trip stink and grub off my body, made a costume change and headed to Busch Stadium--all in 38 minutes, to see (or should I say hear) this:

The select group of 6th, 7th & 8th graders did a beautiful job of harmonizing. Good job!...Go Cards!!...finally the ole' red birds did it, they won a game.

Tomorrow is not quite as intense as today but it offers up few lulls.

Monday, May 07, 2007

The Gift

Our weekend was full, and that is a word that hardly lends itself to description.

I could whine that the weather was in true and perfect form for Julie and I to have a margarita, chips-n-salsa on the back deck...unfortunately neither of us could create an hour, more or less minute in our crazy Saturday to squeak our traditional show of celebration and observation for the Mexican holiday.

Should I post a picture of A's round two of prom? She wore the same dress and had the same date so it is hardly worth showing off the only things different (the updo, wrist corsage and the vest of the young man's tux).

How about if I post pictures from M's band competition trip to Kansas City. Who wants to see pictures of a herd of 14 yr olds on a coach bus or the pounding rain pictures taken from the bus window (prior to running like bats out of hell to the theater where they competed, grabbing instruments; not there's but any ole' instrument).

So instead I will tell a story which accompanied our gift which we presented to M at the 2007 Confirmation Class Family Gathering/Dinner Sunday evening. (Which if I may add the dessert, a towering 4x3 square of heavy rich chocolate cake with warm thick chocolate fudge dripped atop with a scoop of vanilla ice cream--decadent, heaven at its earthly best).

When we gave Princess A her confirmation gift we wanted her gift to reflect a part of who she was; she was the girl who played her flute at the Saturday evening folk style worship services--so we gifted her with a new opened whole flute. Something she longed to own so she was tickled pink (and we were a few $$$ poorer) and it thrilled us. Making it so worth it.

Now it's M's turn, what to get her??? What is something who reflects who M is? Then I thought she was named with my maternal grandmother's first name as her middle name, I would draw from there. I now had the perfect gift idea in mind. I just needed to find someone willing to create it.

So here goes the story that accompanied our gift presentation (*note the presenter had her usual I-am-proud-of-my-child-hold-back-the-cry-face as she told the story while King Ralph feared he would have to take over the story telling)...

When my grandmother was a little girl attending Hope Lutheran Church on the south side of Chicago one could earn an anchor pin in different metal tones for each grouping of Sundays Sunday school was attended--the first grouping of Sundays earned a bronze anchor, then a silver anchor till you reached the gold anchor. Why an anchor? The anchor is one of the oldest inscriptions to be found in the catacombs, dating back to the second century. During times of persecution, the anchor took the shape of a cross to those who knew its hidden meaning. The anchor is the christian symbol of "hope", hence why Hope Lutheran gifted there youth with the anchor.

In 1932 my grandmother finally earned her gold anchor.

Then in 1940 my grandfather, an 18 yr old young man now employed asked her what she would like as a Christmas gift. She explained to him what she really wanted was probably much to expensive, that she had a dear friend (who had earned her anchor two years prior to her), whose parents had taken the anchor pin and had it set down in black onyx then mounting it in a ring. She always admired her friend's ring, that she also would like the same thing done to her cherished gold anchor.

And so my grandfather did just that, gifted her on Christmas 1940 with her anchor mounted into a ring. Today the ring is among her three most cherished items (the other two being Aunt Lily's punch bowl and the gold locket my grandfather gave her for her 17th birthday).

Since the original ring has now been passed down to someone else we approached our jeweler about recreating the ring. A fete he was both excited and perplexed by how to get a gold anchor-- or a lapidarist willing to set the anchor-- into the onyx (for the record there is not one in the St. Louis area). So after many trips back and forth to the jeweler we agreed on a new symbolic version of my grandmother's anchor ring.

It isn't just like my grandmother's ring but it has the same components, it holds that same special symbolic meaning--a ring to always be worn to remind M in the hope Christ offers; the black onyx, a color which means constancy--being unchanging or unwavering, as in purpose, love, or loyalty; firmness of mind; faithfulness.

Knowing that M is at a crossroad in her life when hope is the very thing she needs to embrace, the ring could not have come at a better time--for her and us. So when she feels like life has set an elephant on her shoulders, a weight unbearable to carry, she can glance down at her hand and remember "hope" is there beckoning to fill her heart--it is near the palm of her hand to reach out for and grasp.

Before I could allow myself to drip tears M unwrapped the ring, turned to me and gave me a kiss, then kissed her daddy. That is when you know you must be doing something okay as a parent...because she was the only confirmand who publicly displayed her affection for her parents.

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Therapy or Not?

Do you think it is possible that I have lost my mind when...I go to put the hot dog buns in the pantry 3 feet away but walk all the way down the hallway to the back of the house to put the hot dog buns in the linen closest?

Wednesday, May 02, 2007


This list of question has arised through out my day

As long as every member of this family has clean underwear in there drawers--even if they are down to there "desperates", am I allowed to say screw the laundry?

Or if the drawers are empty can I tell them all to pick there cleanest-dirtiest-pair and turn them inside out?

Cause honestly, that is how I feel this week.

Lazy? Probably!


I'm hungry.

Honey Wheat Braided Twists Pretzels or Reduced Fat Cheez-Its?

Reduced Fat Cheez-Its!


I see Maddi's 1st Draft of her confirmation Faith Statement waiting to be printed...

edit or not edit?


What kind of a "keeper" would I be if I didn't assist her in achieving perfection.


Entenmann's crumb topped donut or tread mill?

I know you're thinking what kind of stupid question is that...of course the crumb topped donut!

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Things I Never Grow Old Of...

1. Looking at Jon Bon Jovi (American Idol tonight reminded me of that)

2. Hearing the music from the Wizard of Oz (it was one of the selections that the Symphonic Band --and Alee played this evening for the spring concert, loved it!)

3. Kissing M's face and wiping her tears (dam that &^%$#@* back brace)

4. The smell of rain approaching on a warm spring day

5. Catching a nap in the car while the girls take music lessons (I'm waiting for the music teacher's neighbor to call the police one day to say there is a dead woman in a mini van parked in front of the house)

6. Talking to my sister on the phone

7. Hugging King Ralph

8. Watching D do her homework with nothing less than a goal of perfection in mind

9. Counting the days till school ends (a girl just can only take so many days of packing three brown bag lunches a day)

10. Making these ridiculous list to remind myself life is indeed wonderful!